Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Kneesaa a Jari Kintaka

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was unsuccessful. Please do not modify it.

Kneesaa a Jari Kintaka

  • Nominated by: Delmar Nori 04:14, 26 June 2008 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: There's a nice history about the young Princess of Bright Tree Village. So, the time has come. Good luck, Your Highness!

(0 Inqs/0 Users/0 Total)

Support

Oppose

  1. Ref tags in the intro.--Goodwood Redstarbird (Alliance Intelligence) 09:26, 26 June 2008 (UTC)
  2. Intro's way too short given the size of the article. There's also some serious grammatical problems in the second paragraph, as well as POV ("lovely"). -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 11:04, 26 June 2008 (UTC)
    • Fixed, though it was one of the hardest intro's I've written. Darthchristian 17:13, 26 June 2008 (UTC)
  3. File:ASha Kneesaa.jpg should source to the actual episode. -LtNOWIS 16:31, 26 June 2008 (UTC)
  4. De-link quotes please. Chack Jadson (Talk) 20:40, 26 June 2008 (UTC)
  1. The Anvil
    • Name needs to be un-referenced. I would do it, but I don't want to mess up the rest of your refs.
    • First mentions of subjects (ie. people, places, etc.), need to be pipelinked upon their first mention.
    • That being said, make sure there is no over linking (ie. one link to each subject in the intro,& one link to each subject in the article, again upon first mention).
    • First paragraph of "Childhood" could stand a rewrite, including first explaining who Ra-Lee and Asha are. I think I gather they are the mother & sister, but if this is so, it needs to be said.
    • Chief Chirpa also needs to be explained.
    • When did all this happen? The first paragraph of the article (not the intro) should give some sort of indication of the time period.
      • There's no canon source about the time period. There's only one track on Wicket's article: Wicket was supposed born in 8 BBY. If we can consider Kneesaa with the same age, we can suppose Kneesaa was born during the Imperial Era, and she lost her mother during the same time period. -- Delmar Nori 02:39, 30 June 2008 (UTC)
    • Ditto for the second paragraph of "Childhood". Explain these new characters instead of assuming the reader has preexisting familiarity with them.
    • In "First Attack of the Phlogs", what was the Council's decision?
      • I didn't write that text. I never read or had the story book How the Ewoks Saved the Trees: An Old Ewok Legend. Only someone who read the book should help us. -- Delmar Nori 02:39, 30 June 2008 (UTC)
        • OK, now I remember I wrote the text, and the book's article have the answer. It's writen on Kneesaa's article, now. -- Delmar Nori 02:58, 30 June 2008 (UTC)
    • Un-pipelink all names in quotes & images. Each of these things should already be pipelinked within the article, thus making them redundant and therefore unnecessary in the quotes & images.
    • In "Making magic potions", You start the first sentence off by talking about the Duloks, of which you have yet to explain. Please do so.
    • Same thing with Chukha-Trok.
    • I'm guessing that the hibernating creature was the Kradak? If so, it should be better worded so as not to force the reader into "guessing".
    • You have her inconsistently as either "Kneesaa" or "Princess Kneesaa". Choose one, please.
    • Mount Sorrow section could use a more creative heading.
    • Too many "after"s in first paragraph of said section.
      • Some "after"s were removed from some sections. -- Delmar Nori 01:31, 15 July 2008 (UTC)
    • In the "The first R2-D2 and C-3PO arriving" section, what is this "interplanetary war" you speak of?
    • Same section: what is an Ibleam? please explain this.
    • What is the "Alzarian/Sooman conflict? If this is that interplanetary war you were speaking of, please name & explain it at its first mention.
    • "With the Fleebogs" section is only a two-sentenced, one-paragraph section. Should be merged with another.
    • While you're at it, explain the Fleebogs' significance please.
    • If you can handle these, there definitely will be more. I will finish later.—Tommy9281 Red lightsaber (Peace is a lie) 07:52, 29 June 2008 (UTC)
  2. This...may not be a fixable objection, unfortunately. As I understand it, the majority of this article is taken verbatim from Wicket's article (presumably with at least some, tiny alterations), which presents two problems. Firstly, much of it is written from Wicket's point of view -- an example of this can be seen here (Kneesa is mentioned twice in the entire section and not at all in the opening paragraph), though it occurs throughout the article, to varying degrees. Also, while copying may not be that bad for general articles, Ozzel's ultimate goal for Wicket is FA—and we can't have two FAs with verbatim content. As Wicket's article was written first and is where the text originally comes from, it has to be given precedence...which means this article may need to be rewritten in order to become an FA. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 22:11, 29 June 2008 (UTC)
    • Yeah. Wicket's article texts were used because of many of Kneesaa's adventures was joined with Wicket. But I agree Kneesaa's texts similar than Wicket's ones must be rewriten. I don't know if I can finish this work before someone removes the nomination. Every Wookieepedians can join this work. If nobody rewrites the texts, only Wicket's article can be nominated. Now I'm working on Tommy9281's suggestions. -- Delmar Nori 00:04, 30 June 2008 (UTC)

Comments

  1. I agree that this article does need to be significantly rewritten, but I do think it is possible. For now, I am holding off on the removal vote. I caution, however, be careful that fluff isn't left because it was already in the article. If Kneesaa wasn't apart of it, but Wicket was, we don't need it. Master Aban Fiolli {Alpheridies University ComNet} 04:52, 13 July 2008 (UTC)
  2. According this objections, the nomination must be removed. I'm remarking this suggestions, and going to work on this without pressure. But I believe if nobody enjoy this work with me, maybe the article can be never ready for another nomination, GA or FA status. -- Delmar Nori 00:58, 17 July 2008 (UTC)

Vote to remove nomination (Inq only)

  1. Inqvote I am starting this vote, based on that the fact that this information was largely taken from Wicket's article.—Tommy9281 Red lightsaber (Peace is a lie) 15:37, 1 July 2008 (UTC)
  2. Inqvote -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 18:51, 6 July 2008 (UTC)
  3. Inqvote Chack Jadson (Talk) 19:12, 6 July 2008 (UTC)
  4. Inqvote Since it needs a major rewrite, I recommend that the nominator work on this without the added pressure of the FAN page, and resubmit when ready. Thefourdotelipsis 00:04, 17 July 2008 (UTC)
  5. Inqvote Per 4dot, since that's the most polite way to say it. -- Darth Culator (Talk) 00:21, 17 July 2008 (UTC)