Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Joruus C'baoth

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was unsuccessful. Please do not modify it.

Joruus C'baoth

(0 Inq/2 User/2 Total)

Support

  1. As nominator. Chack Jadson (Talk) 19:35, 31 October 2007 (UTC)
  2. Support, after a quick spell-check and edit Enochf 20:18, 11 November 2007 (UTC)

Oppose

  1. There's gotta be a better infobox image out there. And...have all the sourcebooks been scoured? I'm surprised that no new information on the character was provided in the Thrawn Trilogy Sourcebook for example. Thefourdotelipsis 05:06, 1 November 2007 (UTC)
    • Gave it a tighter crop. How's that look? -- Ozzel 06:07, 13 November 2007 (UTC)
  2. Very image-light for a character in a comic trilogy. Could definitely use a couple more images. -- Ozzel 06:05, 1 November 2007 (UTC)
    • Comics not even listed in his appearances, I might add. -- Ozzel 21:09, 1 November 2007 (UTC)
  3. BTS could be bigger, including expanding on DB info. --Eyrezer 07:02, 3 November 2007 (UTC)
  4. *Why is the information on Ukio placed before the information on Jomark? As I recall, Ukio is the opening chapters of TLC whereas Jomark is DFR if not HTTE. If it's about not wishing to do a blow-by-blow biography then let me know and I'll withdraw the objection, but it feels a little anachronistic.Harrar 18:00, 15 November 2007 (UTC)
  5. From the transient desk of Atarumaster88
    • I believe Outbound Flight in the context of a ship, should be italicized.
    • 1st 2 sentences of third paragraph of "Creation" are speculative.
    • De-capitalize non-proper uses of "Guardian".
    • "Discovery and entrance into Imperial service" is an unwieldy and slightly inaccurate title; he was serving Palpatine previously, no?
    • "He discovered that Joruus C'baoth was completely insane." This short sentence ruins the flow of the paragraph and should be moved and rewritten.
    • "He also revealed to Pellaeon that the Dark Jedi was not Jorus C'baoth, as he the captain believed." There's a word missing here or something, and I'm not quite sure what it is.
    • "A group of Star Destroyers waited outside the shield, one of them, with C'baoth on it." Poor wording. Rephrase.
    • " At the Battle of Nkllon, which C'baoth was coordinating, his mind felt Skywalker's presence, and he told him that he knew he would come to him.". Confusing antecedents in the end part, and a lack of context on this particular paragraph in general.
    • Needs the AWB treatment.
    • "Their plan succeeded, though they were forced to leave Leia at home with the children, protected by the Noghri, whose loyalty had recently changed from the Empire to the New Republic." Awkward and run-on sentence. Please split this up.
    • Missing context on the whole Noghri thing. That whole paragraph needs either expanded or cut as irrelevant, but the half-done job that currently exists doesn't cut it.
    • "He was there and ready for them." Reword this; it disrupts the flow.
    • Ugh. The whole Showdown on Wayland section reads like a summary of the final third of The Last Command with an emphasis on C'baoth. It should focus on C'baoth's actions, with only enough information on the other characters and events to provide sufficient context.
    • "ultimate treasure" is both speculative and POV. (Showdown on Wayland)
    • "However, the simple fact that Luke's clone was near in proximity caused a strange buzzing in his head, distracting him, and making him struggle in their duel." Context and antecedents are unclear. Please reword.
    • The whole actual two paragraphs of the showdown are disordered and poorly written. Seriously.
    • Go look at, say, Xaverri, and check the reference syntax. The current syntax is unnecessarily long.
    • Reference the BTS. Completely.
    • Never described as a Dark Side Adept in any source. Remove or source.
  6. Joruus has an entry in the Essential Guide to Characters which might provide some info. If you don't have it Chack, I can show you how to get it on IRC. -- AdmirableAckbar [Talk] 11:31, 17 November 2007 (UTC)

Comments

  • This article looks way different than it did 2 weeks ago. I did a major expansion on it. Chack Jadson (Talk) 19:35, 31 October 2007 (UTC)
  • This article still has a long way to go. Atarumaster88 Jedi Order (Talk page) 01:49, 17 November 2007 (UTC)