Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Jon Antilles

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Jon Antilles

  • Nominated by: ToRsO bOy 19:35, June 23, 2010 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Because this guy is freaking awesome.ToRsO bOy 19:35, June 23, 2010 (UTC)

(3 Inqs/4 Users/7 Total)

Support

  1. Thanks a lot. Well done VadersFist666 00:09, June 26, 2010 (UTC)
  2. Thefourdotelipsis 01:11, June 27, 2010 (UTC)
  3. Jedi Kasra (comlink) 01:46, June 27, 2010 (UTC)
  4. Inqvote He's the Jedi Batman! Xicer9Atgar(Combadge) 21:07, June 27, 2010 (UTC)
  5. Inqvote I'm Batman. Chack Jadson (Talk) 00:29, June 29, 2010 (UTC)
  6. Imperialles 04:12, June 30, 2010 (UTC)
  7. Inqvote CC7567 (talk) 05:49, July 3, 2010 (UTC)

Object

A few for now…
  • All instances of "Master" need to be capitalized.
  • I'd like to see more than one source used in the infobox. It might seem nitpicky, I'm not saying use every source, just stuff like his databank entry, the CSWE, or the Fact File.
    • Added Databank.ToRsO bOy 03:41, June 25, 2010 (UTC)
  • More to come.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 10:41, June 24, 2010 (UTC)
Nicholson?!
  • Since the guy is from a comic, I assume that we don't need to have the anachronistic Dark Woman picture there, and could surely have some illustration of some action from Blast Radius.
    • Well, the Dark Woman has been influential to Antilles in many ways. I thought a picture of her was warranted, given that she was mentioned a couple of times.ToRsO bOy 22:31, June 25, 2010 (UTC)
      • Yeah, but... no. We generally use images from the given source if they're available. A picture of his death would be far more suitable. Thefourdotelipsis 00:50, June 26, 2010 (UTC)
        • Ok. Changed the picture.ToRsO bOy 18:13, June 26, 2010 (UTC)
  • "Not much is known regarding Antilles's early years, only that he became a Padawan to the Dark Woman, a Jedi Master who was known to have subjected her Padawans through unorthodox training methods." - Speculatory. And is this all really sourcable to Blast Radius?
    • Reworded the first part. Added extra source for the Dark Woman's training methods.ToRsO bOy 22:31, June 25, 2010 (UTC)
  • "ittle is known about the early life of Jon Antilles. Following in the footsteps of his Master, the Dark Woman, it appears that he abandoned his original name and adapted the alias "Jon Antilles" for unknown reasons." - Speculative.
    • Reworded.ToRsO bOy 22:31, June 25, 2010 (UTC)
  • "His personality appears to have been that of a disobedient loner, if his actions on Queyta were any indication." - Conversational.
  • Tis all. Thefourdotelipsis 13:04, June 25, 2010 (UTC)
    • Thanks for the review ToRsO bOy 22:31, June 25, 2010 (UTC)
VadersFist666
  • In the second paragraph of the summary it says "their group was tasked to acquire..." it would be better as, "their group was tasked with acquiring..." thats about all for me :) VadersFist666 22:55, June 25, 2010 (UTC)
    • Changed. Thanks for the minor corrections. ToRsO bOy 23:19, June 25, 2010 (UTC)
Polaris
  • "He was believed dead many times before, but this time. I don't think he's coming back." Is this quote correct? Should the period be a comma? Chack Jadson (Talk) 23:39, June 25, 2010 (UTC)
    • I'll check it again as soon as I get home.ToRsO bOy 18:13, June 26, 2010 (UTC)
  • The infobox date says he died in 21.7 BBY, and the intro and the body say it was 4 months into 21 BBY. Does this match up? If there are 10 months in a year, should this be 21.6? I'm unsure about this, so I'm asking your opinion.
    • Right. I actually took it for granted that all of the articles related to the mission to Queyta says it occurred 4 months into 21 BBY. Jedi Kasra changed the date inside the infobox since apparently The New Essential Chronology states it occurred in 21.7 BBY. I'll look for some hard proof for the 4 months date and assuming that I do find one, then I mention the discrepancy at BTS right? ToRsO bOy 00:33, June 27, 2010 (UTC)
      • In the 2nd Clone Wars TPB which contains issue #53, Victories and Sacrifices, it states just before the comic starts "Approximately four months after the Battle of Geonosis."--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 00:36, June 27, 2010 (UTC)
        • Ok, NEC says 21.7 BBY, 4 months after Geonosis, so simply adjust your sourcing if needed and you're good. Don't know how that dating makes sense, but whatever. Chack Jadson (Talk) 21:49, June 27, 2010 (UTC)
          • Fixed date.ToRsO bOy 22:15, June 27, 2010 (UTC)

Hey Chack, I just clarified the year with Master Jonathan and he gave a great explanation. It seems 21.7 BBY and 4 months after Battle of Geonosis are the same after all. I stuck with 22 BBY (which covers 21.7 BBY) and mentioned in the BTS that it's essentially the same with The New Essential Chronology's date. ToRsO bOy 00:03, June 28, 2010 (UTC)

  • The body says that Jon Antilles was an alias, yet the P&T says only that some Jedi thought it was. Can we get confirmation, and standardization?
    • Fixed on both summary and bio.ToRsO bOy 00:33, June 27, 2010 (UTC)
  • I don't feel it's necessary for listing some other Padawans of the Dark Woman. I'd like to hear your reasoning for this.
    • I was trying to illustrate how diverse was the influence of the Dark Woman's training methods to her Padawans, and how they all turned out because of it. As we can see, we have a Jedi Council member, a Tusken-raised Jedi who later became a Sith Lord and a fallen Jedi-turned bounty hunter. I feel that it's not really a stretch to show Antilles's standing compared to the other Padawans.ToRsO bOy 00:33, June 27, 2010 (UTC)
  • "During the course of the mission, Antilles did not hesitate to sacrifice his own life by taking Durge on his own, giving his companions the chance to complete the mission." This should be moved to P&T; at the least, you should acknowledge his willingness to sacrifice himself in P&T.
    • Added part to P&T. Also, I noticed that you removed the link for the Living Force. Was that a mistake?ToRsO bOy 00:33, June 27, 2010 (UTC)
    • No, earlier you pipelinked it when mentioning the will of the Force. Chack Jadson (Talk) 21:35, June 27, 2010 (UTC)
  • Why do you only refer to the Dark Woman by her birth name in the infobox?
  • Cool character. Chack Jadson (Talk) 21:46, June 26, 2010 (UTC)
    • That he is. Thanks for the review.ToRsO bOy 00:33, June 27, 2010 (UTC)
Smith
  • I think a nod to the fact that his name is the SW equivalent of Jon Smith wouldn't be amiss in the bts, as long as you worded it so that it didn't include speculation. You could even source it, too --- Steve Sansweet confirmed on the official site that "Antilles" is SW's "Smith"; I don't know if the page exists anymore, but he was quoted Premium-Era-real a whooooole buncha times on www.google.com (backup link not verified!) before the page disappeared. Premium-Era-real This one on www.galacticempire.net (backup link not verified!) might be your best bet to source, as it specifically mentions Sansweet. Menkooroo 13:02, June 27, 2010 (UTC)
    • I did remember seeing an article discussing the Antilles name on the blog pages, but can't seem to find it. Thanks for the find though.ToRsO bOy 20:48, June 27, 2010 (UTC)
Xicer
  • Intro: "Along with four Jedi Masters—Knol Ven'nari, Nico Diath, Fay and Obi-Wan Kenobi—their group was tasked with acquiring the antidote for swamp gas..." Read it without the names: "Along with four Jedi Masters...their group was tasked with" It makes it sound like the "group" was a separate entity from the "four Jedi Masters". Might be better to replace "their group" with "Antillies".
  • Intro: "But the base was actually a trap..." Not a great idea to start a sentence with "But".
  • Intro: "Durge killed Antilles by grabbing the Jedi and physically submerging him into the lava." What lava?
  • In the infobox you source his species and gender to the Databank, but in the bio it's sourced to the comic. Unless the comic specifically states his species and whatnot, the sourcing in the bio should reflect the infobox's sourcing.
    • Switched bio sourcing to the Databank reference. Is it ok to insert that in between a sentence?ToRsO bOy 20:48, June 27, 2010 (UTC)
      • Of course. Just FYI, I moved the ref to before his mention of being a Jedi Master, since the DB doesn't actually state that he was one. I'm assuming the comic book does. Xicer9Atgar(Combadge) 21:07, June 27, 2010 (UTC)
  • Shouldn't there be an article for this Separatist base?
  • Mission to Queyta needs to be linked somewhere in the bio.
    • Missed that completely. Added.ToRsO bOy 20:48, June 27, 2010 (UTC)
  • P&A: "Antilles followed the Living Force, traveling across the galaxy while fighting for freedom and justice across the stars." A bit too flowery for my taste.
    • Extra grit added.ToRsO bOy 20:48, June 27, 2010 (UTC)
  • I actually think the whole last paragraph of the P&A should be moved to the P&T. His devotion to the Living Force says much more about his personality than his special abilities with the Force.
    • I actually feel it could be both. I first thought of incorporating his willingness to sacrifice himself as a result of him following the Living Force, but had a hard time incorporating it without sounding like original research. Anyway, moved.ToRsO bOy 20:48, June 27, 2010 (UTC)
  • Nice article, although I agree with Chack's objection concerning the Dark Woman's other apprentices. Despite your reasoning, I still think it's totally irrelevant to Antilles, and it sounds like you're trying to prove a point without really saying anything overtly. Anyway, that's all. Xicer9Atgar(Combadge) 16:13, June 27, 2010 (UTC)
    • Ok. Maybe it's just me who resonates with that idea. Removed.ToRsO bOy 20:48, June 27, 2010 (UTC)
L'Imperialles
  • Intro: "Antilles was tasked with acquiring the antidote for swamp gas, a chemical weapon the Separatists first tested on the Gungan colonists on the moon of Ohma-D'un with devastating results and planned to use against the clone troopers of the Grand Army of the Republic" This is a monster of a sentence. Is it really necessary to give that much context on the swamp gas? I am specifically referring to the testing bit. That sort of detail belongs in the main body.
  • Biography: Pretty sure Durge is a bounty hunter, not an assassin.
    • My mistake. I latched on to the memory of Durge being sent to assassinate someone in the Obsession storyline. Changed. ToRsO bOy 03:53, June 30, 2010 (UTC)
  • P&T: "he apprehended countless murderers within the Bounty Hunters' Guild" Is "countless" used in the comic? If not, "several" seems a bit less hyperbolic.
  • P&A: "who was known to have slain countless Jedi" Same thing here.
  • Good read! --Imperialles 01:35, June 30, 2010 (UTC)
    • I appreciate the review. Thanks. ToRsO bOy 03:53, June 30, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 05:49, July 3, 2010 (UTC)