Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Ipsium

< Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations
The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Ipsium

  • Nominated by: —spookywillowwtalk 03:02, 29 September 2024 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Originally a GA from late last year of a user no longer with us. Went over due to a slight Outlaws update in a sneaky mention I'd barely noticed while spamming side-quests for credits. With any luck, should mostly hold up fine since it had passed in 2023 as a GAN.
  • Date Archived: 01:11, 12 December 2024 (UTC)
  • Final word count: 1181 words (207 introduction, 814 body, 160 behind the scenes)
  • Word count at nomination time: 1173 words (198 introduction, 816 body, 159 behind the scenes)
  • WookieeProject (optional): WP:TCW

(4 Inqs/2 Users/6 Total)

(Votes required: No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)

Support

  1. Inqvote Wok142 (talk) 17:16, 9 October 2024 (UTC)
  2. Inqvote Lewisr (talk) 20:18, 26 October 2024 (UTC)
  3. Inqvote OOM 224 (he/him/they) 00:08, 29 November 2024 (UTC)
  4. Inqvote Master FredceriqueCommerce Guild(talk) (he/him) 17:44, 1 December 2024 (UTC)
  5. Booply (talk) 03:02, 4 December 2024 (UTC)
  6. Braha'tok enthusiast Hello there 00:23, 12 December 2024 (UTC)

Object

Wok
  • The second sentence of the intro is a bit of a run-on. For me, segmenting it right before the bit about the spaceport would be best.
  • Second sentence of the second para of the intro is also. You could split right after "awry" and go "The group's shuttle had been stolen by..." or maybe split after Benni Baro and say like "The truth was then revealed to the workers..." etc.
  • I think it would be ideal to mention in the intro that the Empire was the group who forced out the Techno Union
  • In Description, when listing the ways ipsium could be exploded, the friction item of the list should have an accompanying verb (maybe disrupted or something) since the rest of the list is made up of verbs (mishandled and compromised)
  • I believe this is a case where linking to time is not the most appropriate, per a conversation on discord from a while ago. Essentially, the current Time article is really about definition 1 (here: https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/time) as opposed to definition 2 Wok142 (talk) 04:00, 5 October 2024 (UTC)
    • Sorted above; some of the sentence structure was awkward overall so ended up breaking it up a bit more than asked, which did result in not using the suggested breaks, but do let me know. Also re: the last point; agreed, though tbf this will, realistically, probably be more of a copy-edit point in general since it's pretty much on every nom up until the last few months, and/or an ingrained habit to accidentally link.—spookywillowwtalk 11:05, 9 October 2024 (UTC)
      • Sentence structure looks good. For the time thing, I will copyedit this in advance, I had just been thinking it'd be good to bring it up with people (since it is an ingrained habit as you said) so they can just start thinking about it. Wok142 (talk) 17:16, 9 October 2024 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 01:11, 12 December 2024 (UTC)