Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Hedji (second nomination)

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Hedji

(4 Inqs/2 Users/6 Total)

Support

  1. --Cal JediInfinite Empire (Personal Comm Channel) 00:36, October 4, 2011 (UTC)
  2. Inqvote IFYLOFD (Floyd's crib) 01:16, October 6, 2011 (UTC)
  3. Inqvote --Eyrezer
  4. Inqvote A cat in underpants. Menkooroo 02:35, January 10, 2012 (UTC)
  5. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 13:34, January 10, 2012 (UTC)
  6. Inqvote -- Darth Culator (Talk) 15:37, January 10, 2012 (UTC)

Object

Cal Jedi
  • First of all: This sentence is way too choppy. "Although Arrogantus was overcome, during the engagement, a giant monster, the Behemoth from Below, emerged, and wreaked havoc."
    • I've cleaned up the commas - it should read better now.
  • The quote for the "Abilities" section needs to be set up with the {{Quote}} template rather than the dialogue one, since there is only two people talking.
    • Done.
  • And in the BTS section, you mention "Star Wars 8" and "Star Wars 10", but none of the other sources. Those need to be included. Cal JediInfinite Empire (Personal Comm Channel) 00:16, September 23, 2011 (UTC)
    • Why?
      • Alot of noms I've seen include all of the sources in the BTS, probably because of this: "portrayal information (for characters appearing in films, computer games, cartoons, radio dramatizations)" from the LG. But after looking at that closer, it doesn't really say that you have to list all of them in the BTS, so striked.--Cal JediInfinite Empire (Personal Comm Channel) 00:33, October 4, 2011 (UTC)
  • One more thing, I don't see anywhere in the body of the article where you specifically mention his gender, hair color, eye color, or what year this all occurs in. Cal JediInfinite Empire (Personal Comm Channel) 00:55, September 23, 2011 (UTC)
    • The hair and eye colour is in the P/T; the year and gender is now in the bio. Thefourdotelipsis 07:03, October 3, 2011 (UTC)
Cal stole one of my objections
  • "When one Starhopper, faux-Jedi Knight Don-Wan Kihotay, attempted to confront the monster by himself, Hedji rushed to his aid, and was eventually destroyed by a lightning blast from the creature." Pretty choppy.
    • Split up.
  • Linking issues.
    • I think I've got most of these?
  • Context on Aduba-3 in the body.
    • Done.
  • The way the Star-Hoppers are introduced in the body is very awkward. You initially refer to them as a "posse" with no purpose, and no motive for Hedji to want to join them. Please fix.
    • Well, I've specified t hat the posse's purpose was unknown to Hedji before he even joined it... what's there is how it's presented in the source. I'm not sure what context you can give to the posse at that chronological point beyond saying that it was being formed.
  • "Solo noted that he was unarmed, and the Spiner insisted that he did not need one." One what? This is very awkward phrasing.
    • Fixed.
  • Also, the word "posse" is repeated too many times in the body.
    • Cleaned out a few.
  • The way it is worded, it sounds like Jimm Doshun and the Starkiller Kid are different people. Fix this.
    • Fixed.
  • "At Solo's behest, the posse engaged the creatures, Hedji putting his quills to good use, killing one of the beasts with a precise fusillade of strikes." Very choppy.
  • I have to say 4dot, not your best work. IFYLOFD (Floyd's crib) 00:25, September 23, 2011 (UTC)
QGJ
  • The opening sentence of the intro is hard to decipher due to over-usage of em dashes.
  • Can some synonyms be found for the word "posse?" QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 17:52, December 11, 2011 (UTC)
    • Some instances changed to various synonyms, but not all, because that is what they were. -- Darth Culator (Talk) 01:32, January 10, 2012 (UTC)

Comments

  • Only objection last time was for lack of quotes, which has been rectified. Thefourdotelipsis 06:22, August 30, 2011 (UTC)

Vote to remove nomination (Inq only)

  1. Idle objections. Inqvote 1358 (Talk) 17:43, January 9, 2012 (UTC)

Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 15:39, January 10, 2012 (UTC)