Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Gar Stazi (second nomination)

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Gar Stazi

(5 Inq/3 Users/8 Total)

Support

  1. My nomination of this article is due in a large part to tremendous help from Topwara and Ralltiir, Chack, AdmirableAckbar, and Havac. These Wookieepedians, amongst others, provided me with helpful and constructive advice in getting this article up to snuff. Stazi is an awesome character and it is my pleasure to nominate him for FA status. AdmiralNick22 01:46, 24 April 2008 (UTC)
  2. Goodwood Redstarbird (Alliance Intelligence) 21:37, 24 April 2008 (UTC)
  3. Inqvote Nice job. Chack Jadson (Talk) 23:02, 28 April 2008 (UTC)
  4. Inqvote Well done. - Lord Hydronium 00:28, 30 April 2008 (UTC)
  5. Inqvote What those other Inqs said. -- Darth Culator (Talk) 22:48, 1 May 2008 (UTC)
  6. Inqvote Here's to future Staziness. Cull Tremayne 18:00, 2 May 2008 (UTC)
  7. Inqvote Nick worked really hard on this thing through both the GAN and FAN process. I'm glad that he was so eager to get this thing through. Wonderful job! Credit well deserved. Toprawa and Ralltiir 22:27, 4 May 2008 (UTC)
  8. :-) -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 22:37, 4 May 2008 (UTC)

Object

  1. My first concern is the stability of the article. Are anonymous editors continuously messing with this page? I notice two anonymous edits since you nominated it already. Please reassure me about this, or propose a solution. Graestan(Talk) 01:59, 24 April 2008 (UTC)
    • Well, both edits appear to be an anon fixing bits of grammer. The solution, IMO, is vigilance in reverting any edits that are made that contain false or incorrect info. Several of the posters who helped me work on this article (Topwara, AdmirableAckbar) regularly patrol the article and revert anon or incorrect edits. AdmiralNick22 02:16, 24 April 2008 (UTC)
    • That's not really an objection at all. The nominator has no control over who edits the article. All they can do it respond to those edits, keep what is worthy, and remove what's not. Greyman Jan.png (Talk) 02:29, 24 April 2008 (UTC)
      • There is a rule concerning whether or not the article is the subject of an ongoing edit-war, and a similar, yet better-worded rule on the GAN about whether the article is stable. I just wanted to see if the nominator had any ideas or plans for dealing with this. Graestan(Talk) 00:00, 25 April 2008 (UTC)
  1. From the Forest of Goodwood:
    • The introduction could be fleshed out a bit. If that isn't possible, please consider consolidating some of the paragraphs therein.
      • I consolidated the intro into two paragraphs. AdmiralNick22 03:11, 24 April 2008 (UTC)
    • "As early as 130 ABY, Duros Admiral Gar Stazi was the commander of the Galactic Alliance Core Fleet." Reword, please.
      • Done. Cleaned up sentence. AdmiralNick22 03:11, 24 April 2008 (UTC)
        • Not exactly what I had in mind, but I rewrote it to reflect what the usual standard is.--Goodwood Redstarbird (Alliance Intelligence) 12:07, 24 April 2008 (UTC)
    • "that he planned to cover the Alliance rear and keep means of escape open for the fleet" sounds a bit awkward. Keep in mind how fleet maneuvers would be described.
      • Done. Reworded to be clearer. AdmiralNick22 03:11, 24 April 2008 (UTC)
    • Linking in quotes and quote citations a no-no, please address.
      • I was not aware of this. I noticed that many FA's do link in quotes. However, I am willing to remove them if that is the standard. AdmiralNick22 03:11, 24 April 2008 (UTC)
        • Technically it's allowed if there's no other reasonable way to get a link into an article, however in each instance that you did it, the subject was linked elsewhere.--Goodwood Redstarbird (Alliance Intelligence) 12:07, 24 April 2008 (UTC)
    • Also, the lead dialogue for the Escape subsection should be templated properly.
      • I am not sure what you mean. Please specify. AdmiralNick22 03:11, 24 April 2008 (UTC)
        • It means you have to use one of the dialogue templates found here. For two-line dialogue it is acceptable to have it as-is, but for three or more, a dialogue template is needed to avoid confusion.--Goodwood Redstarbird (Alliance Intelligence) 12:07, 24 April 2008 (UTC)
          • Is that really policy? I know that I, and several other users, dislike using those dialogue templates unless it's actually necessary (more than two people talking in an irregular pattern). I greatly prefer normal quote templates. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 15:51, 24 April 2008 (UTC)
            • Well, I am not as familar with templates, so I am flexible. You both bring up good points. Goodwood, I am fine leaving it as is, unless you seriously object. Either format works for me. :-) AdmiralNick22 19:39, 24 April 2008 (UTC)
              • Since you're not familiar with the template system, I went ahead and did it myself. It's something to keep in mind for the future. :-) Goodwood Redstarbird (Alliance Intelligence) 21:37, 24 April 2008 (UTC)
    • "Three days following his victory at Mon Calamari, Admiral Stazi, along with beings across the galaxy, witnessed an atrocity live over the HoloNet. Transmiting from the Mon Calamarian capital city of New Coral City, Darth Krayt broadcast a horrifying message— 1/0th of all Mon Calamarians would be executed. After issuing this proclamation, a stormtroopers led by Darth Azard slaughtered the assembled members of the Calamarian Council, both Mon Calamarian and Quarren." Please reword this paragraph.
    • "Unbeknownst" is not a word.
      • Done. AdmiralNick22 03:11, 24 April 2008 (UTC)
      • It is. ;-) - Lord Hydronium 03:21, 24 April 2008 (UTC)
        • God Bless you sir! I have been using that word for years! :-p AdmiralNick22 03:24, 24 April 2008 (UTC)
          • I would still prefer it not be used, as it sounds superfluous.--Goodwood Redstarbird (Alliance Intelligence) 12:07, 24 April 2008 (UTC)
            • No problem. I still removed it. I think I caught all of them. If not, feel free to remove any occurances of "unbeknownst". AdmiralNick22 19:37, 24 April 2008 (UTC)
            • Thanks mate. There were a couple left, but they're zapped now.--Goodwood Redstarbird (Alliance Intelligence) 21:37, 24 April 2008 (UTC)
    • Please change "Mon Calamarian(s)" to "Mon Calamari".
    • "Back at the Alliance rendezvous point, the actions of the Imperial Knights to save his officers deeply impressed Stazi." Please reword this statement.
      • Again, please specify what part you want changed. Personally, I am not sure what is wrong with this particular sentence. AdmiralNick22 03:11, 24 April 2008 (UTC)
        • The sentence is simply awkward. A more appropriate wording would be, for example: "...at the rendezvous point, Stazi learned of the actions of, etc....an act which deeply impressed him."
    • "1/0th of all Mon Calamarians would be executed." Please correct this fraction and write it as prose.
    • TIMMMMBERRRRR!!!--Goodwood Redstarbird (Alliance Intelligence) 02:46, 24 April 2008 (UTC)
      • Thank you for your advice. :-) I have addressed the areas you requested. There are a few areas where you ask me to change sentences that I would like you to be more specific. That way I knwo what parts of those sentences you think need improvement. AdmiralNick22 03:11, 24 April 2008 (UTC)
  2. From the Command Station of Chack Jadson:
    • "Late in the battle, Grand Admiral Morlish Veed, possessing the advantage, called on the Alliance fleet to surrender. Feeling the situation was hopeless, Alliance Admiral Borasco called on all of his forces to accept the terms." Rephrase to avoid using called twice.
    • "During the seven years prior, Stazi maintained a campaign of harassment against Krayt's Empire." Who is Krayt? I know, but the casual reader might not.
    • "Stazi led these attacks from the bridge of his personal flagship, the Scythe-class battle cruiser Indomitable." Rephrase this sentence. It’s very similar to one in the intro.
    • Give a little context as to how the Sith took control of the galaxy when you mention it in "Meeting on the Wheel".
      • Done. I mentioned Krayt's coup against Fel. AdmiralNick22 18:15, 27 April 2008 (UTC)
    • No need to link Gial Gahan when he’s mentioned in Battle of Mon Calamari.
    • Did Valan commit suicide?
      • Interestingly enough, Dark Horse left this vague. We don't know yet whether he did or was just contemplating it. AdmiralNick22 18:15, 27 April 2008 (UTC)
    • De-link Bey and Monia in the New Hope section. Same with Roan Fel.
    • Much better than when you first nominated it. Chack Jadson (Talk) 16:12, 27 April 2008 (UTC)
      • Thank you sir! I have made the edits you requested. AdmiralNick22 18:15, 27 April 2008 (UTC)
  3. Source that Ostrander created Stazi. Not an objection, but I'd also suggest linking the TFN link to the specific post (you can get this by going into Jan's post history and finding the link to that post), rather than the page, which changes for people on different page settings. I usually include the date and time too, to make it easier to find it. - Lord Hydronium 06:47, 29 April 2008 (UTC)
    • I am having trouble making that work. I can link the page, but not the specific quote. Can you help me by doing this? I put the time in, but this is not working for me. AdmiralNick22 13:17, 29 April 2008 (UTC)
      • Sorry, I should have been more clear; linking to the post just links to the page it's on. However, it'll link to that page no matter how many posts one has set to display per page, unlike when you link directly to page 9 or so. So your link was right; I changed the formatting around a bit too. - Lord Hydronium 20:12, 29 April 2008 (UTC)
        • I cannot get the link for John's quote to work. I left you the link on your talk page. Can you help me one more time by linking this article in the proper format as well? AdmiralNick22 00:22, 30 April 2008 (UTC)
  4. Flibberty Gibbet:
    • "His actions at the Battle of Caamas, a Sith victory, preserved a portion of the Alliance to continue the fight against the Sith and Empire and made him a legend" This could stand to be reworded just a bit I would say. "against the Sith and Empire and made him a legend" is kinda awkward sounding, and makes the sentence run on a bit.
    • "Following the escape from Caamas, Stazi became leader of the Galactic Alliance Remnant." Is this intentional? Should there be a "the" or "a" before "leader" in this sentence?
    • "However, Petan's arguments swayed the third Triumvir, Bail Antilles." Hmmm, you didn't mention that Toreena was all for Petan's plan. So "third Triumvir" comes a bit out of nowhere.
    • No mention of Dru Valan being the officer that Stazi escaped from, or the role that he played in allowing Stazi's escape? Or is that too unrelated to the subject?
      • Done. I added a blurb mentioning it down in the battle of Mon Cal section. AdmiralNick22 13:37, 2 May 2008 (UTC)
        • Good enough I suppose. :P
    • "Over time, Stazi's attacks proved to make his forces a major threat to the Sith." Proved to make his forces is a bit iffy IMO. Could stand a minor reword.
      • Done. AdmiralNick22 13:37, 2 May 2008 (UTC)
        • No real change that I saw. Did I miss something?
        • Sorry. I thought I removed it. It is off now. The whole sentence didn't really add much to the article. AdmiralNick22 17:05, 2 May 2008 (UTC)
    • "All factions—Sith, Imperial and Alliance—had no idea that Cade was actually her son." What role does this play in Stazi's biography exactly? I wouldn't mind if it was just tacked onto Corde's reason for being on the Wheel, but explaining that none of the factions held this information? Seems irrelevant to the topic at hand.
      • I am fine removing that. IIRC, someone requested that I add it. AdmiralNick22 13:37, 2 May 2008 (UTC)
        • Tacked on a minor mention of Cade being her son and deleted the sentence.
    • "Despite the appearance of an Imperial ambush, it was the Alliance who in turn trapped the Empire. Valan offered Stazi's fleet a chance to surrender." The second sentence is out of place. After telling us that the Alliance had prepared for the trap, then we're told that Valan offered a surrender? Could that sentence and the following one about refusing the surrender maybe be integrated with the earlier paragraph?
      • Feel free to edit the paragrpah a bit. I agree that it does sound a bit akward. I am fine if you want to edit it. :-) AdmiralNick22 13:37, 2 May 2008 (UTC)
        • Moved some sentences around. Feel free to reword some.
    • No link to Duel on Mon Calamari?
    • Well done all involved. :P Cull Tremayne 06:09, 2 May 2008 (UTC)
      • Thank you sir! I have addressed all your objections. AdmiralNick22 13:37, 2 May 2008 (UTC)
  5. Kuralyov's added something to the succession box without sourcing it. Please add ref notes to his addition. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 17:21, 3 May 2008 (UTC)
    • Should be sorted, though please keep an eye out for any fishy edits. :-) -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 22:37, 4 May 2008 (UTC)
  6. From the Merciless Hammer of Toprawa:
    • This is something I would typically get myself, but I'm not sure of the material. Please pipe link the specific Empire were are referring to here: "preserved a portion of the Alliance to continue the fight against Empire"
    • If Stazi fought at Caamas aboard the Indomitable, you should make earlier mention of the ship
      • Done. I added a mention of the ship to the section explaining his escape from Caamas. AdmiralNick22 14:48, 4 May 2008 (UTC)
    • Sorry for the incomplete review, but I will finish this up soon. Toprawa and Ralltiir 05:34, 4 May 2008 (UTC)
      • No problem. I think we are getting real close! AdmiralNick22 14:48, 4 May 2008 (UTC)
    • This is kind of confusing to me. So, the Alliance won at Mon Calamari, but now Krayt is just announcing the populace will be massacred? Did he somehow take over the planet, is this part of an announced imminent invasion? Please specify: "Darth Krayt broadcast a message: one-tenth of all Mon Calamari would be executed and the rest placed in forced labor camps."
      • No, Krayt already controlled Mon Calamari. The Alliance's victory was capturing the Imperious, not retaking the planet. I have added a line about Krayt travelling there after Stazi's victory. AdmiralNick22 20:35, 4 May 2008 (UTC)
    • Two issues with this sentence. First, you use the word "leapt" here again after just using it in a previous sentence, awkward to read. Secondly, "to his apparent doom" is speculation. I'm guessing this is one of the comic's cliffhangers, so we can't write to speculate what may happen. You need to somehow reword it to remain factual, while giving the reader the opportunity to come to his own assumption: "The subsequent explosion allowed the shuttle to escape, while Sinde leapt from the platform to his apparent doom."
      • Done. I removed the word leapt. As for "apparent doom", I say at the bottom of the last paragraph that Sinde does in fact survive and links up with the Mon Cal resistance. However, if your point is that I cannot hint at his survival, I am fine removing the "apparent doom" bit. Let me know what you would like done. AdmiralNick22 20:35, 4 May 2008 (UTC)
        • Ok, I get what you're saying here. In that case, it's ok to leave "to his apparent doom," but you need to specify immediately thereafter that he survived.
    • This sentence doesn't make sense to me. So "despite" the distrust of the Sith Empire, the Sith are a perceived threat to him? "Despite" doesn't work right here, unless I am somehow misinterpreting this: "Despite his own distrust of the Empire, Stazi realized that the Sith were the greatest threat to the safety of the galaxy."
      • I am refering to Fel's Empire. I have reworded it. AdmiralNick22 20:35, 4 May 2008 (UTC)
    • The way this reads suggests that even though he was considered successful, he may not have been. It would be safe, I feel to say he was competent; or, you may choose to rewrite this to say that "according to [someone]," he was considered successful: " Admiral Gar Stazi was considered a successful fleet commander."
      • Done. I am changed it to "was". AdmiralNick22 20:35, 4 May 2008 (UTC)
    • Your picture caption makes mention his "trademark" robes. If they're so trademarked, they should be mentioned in the P&T. Additionally, please go through see what else may be added to the P&T with the inclusion of the new issue. Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:36, 4 May 2008 (UTC)
      • Done. I removed the use of "trademark". I also added a bit about his compassion.AdmiralNick22 20:35, 4 May 2008 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 01:09, 5 May 2008 (UTC)

  • Glad to see you're having a shot at FA. :-) -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 15:51, 24 April 2008 (UTC)
    • Thank you. Feel free to vote if you are interested. This article is due in a large part to your help in getting it to GA status. AdmiralNick22 00:19, 25 April 2008 (UTC)