- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.
Gandle Ott
- Nominated by: Cavalier One
(Squadron channel) 00:03, February 22, 2012 (UTC) - Nomination comments: Planet. DarkStryder. No madness-inducing plaques.
(4 Inqs/2 Users/6 Total)
Support
Excellent stuff, as is the norm with your noms, Cav. Great work.—Cal Jedi
(Personal Comm Channel) 02:07, February 22, 2012 (UTC)
IFYLOFD (Floyd's crib) 02:53, February 22, 2012 (UTC)- Plagueis327 04:44, April 2, 2012 (UTC)
- This world has a cool name. ~Savage 13:22, April 2, 2012 (UTC)
- --Eyrezer 08:38, April 4, 2012 (UTC)
- Menkooroo 00:16, April 24, 2012 (UTC)
Object
Savaged…
The intro seems to contradict itself: "The terminus of the Trition Trade Route, Gandle Ott was considered to be the last major settled world in the sector. Settled around 592 BBY, Gandle Ott quickly grew into a thriving colony and became the most prominent world in the Kathol sector until Kal'Shebbol was settled two hundred years later." Was it only considered the last major settled world until Kal'Shebbol was settled? Or was Kal'Shebbol not considered a major settled world? Or is "last" here being used spatially rather than temporally? If so, perhaps "farthest" would work.- I meant last as in geographically. It's the last stop on the Triton Trade Route, and considered to be the last major settled world in the region before heading into the depths of the sector. Changed to "farthest" for clarity.
There's currently some infobox-exclusive information: grid position, rotation period, orbital period, most of the stuff under "Physical," and population.- Bugger. How did I missed that? Added.
Looks good. But should the population figure have some sort of qualifier, like the time of the adventure? The population could have fluctuated over time. ~Savage 12:48, April 2, 2012 (UTC)- Added a qualifier, as per suggestion.
- Bugger. How did I missed that? Added.
Maybe add just a tad of context on Coruscant in the "History" section, saying that it was the galactic capital or something. As it is now, it's unclear Coruscant is a planet.- Added.
Context on Brentaal (just that it was a planet).- Added.
Perhaps link and stub the traditional mushroom-cutting ceremony as a unique kind of ritual and mention it under "Inhabitants"?- Well, its already linked to in the first paragraph under history, and the article already exists.
Same with ganther dances, which could perhaps use a few words of context.- If I knew what they were, I would add context. The only two mentions are this and a NewsNet source from the Adventure Journal and they both lack detail beyond the name.
Here, I just mean that as a unique element of planetary culture, the dances (whatever they may be) should probably be mentioned in "Inhabitants" in relation to the planet's denizens. ~Savage 12:48, April 2, 2012 (UTC)- Sorry, should have been more specific. The other mention in the AJ mentions ganther dances in a setting other than Gandle Ott. There's no indication that they are native to the planetary culture at all. They may have been having a tolerance week, or put the dances on for the outsiders since they would (presumably) be familiar with them. - Cavalier One(Squadron channel) 13:07, April 2, 2012 (UTC)
- Ah, gotcha. ~Savage 13:22, April 2, 2012 (UTC)
- Ah, gotcha. ~Savage
- Sorry, should have been more specific. The other mention in the AJ mentions ganther dances in a setting other than Gandle Ott. There's no indication that they are native to the planetary culture at all. They may have been having a tolerance week, or put the dances on for the outsiders since they would (presumably) be familiar with them. - Cavalier One
- If I knew what they were, I would add context. The only two mentions are this and a NewsNet source from the Adventure Journal and they both lack detail beyond the name.
The Hanging Gardens probably merit a mention under "Locations."- Added.
Is there any further information that can be gleaned from maps in the Atlas? Did the planet fall within Darth Krayt's Empire's territory, for instance?- The sector appears to fall outside of the maps influences due to its remote location. Krayt's Empire map shows his control extending past Karideph (in the Minos Cluster) towards Kathol sector, but Kal'Shebbol is not represented on the map so I am wary of saying that Krayt's dominion extended that far.
The article seems to assume the adventure proceeds only in one way. Are there any alternate scenarios that should be described in BTS? And should the warning templates be added that the events described assume the "best" outcome, etc.?- Well, yes and no. The events laid out occur as the adventure is more a chance to character roleplay than to shoot things. The resolution of many of the meetings are subject to how the players chose to play the scenario, and as such, the exact outcome is never mentioned. Ex. We know they met with General Dade and the defense forces reps to discuss military aid, but the extent of the conversation and any promises made is at the discretion of the GM and players. Also, obtaining the star maps has several possibilities, but none are listed as none of the options listed may be the correct avenue. All that is known is that the maps are obtained.
That sounds fine, but I wonder if this should be mentioned in BTS? That there's really only one overarching correct path, but the details can vary considerably? ~Savage 12:48, April 2, 2012 (UTC)- Added a little something, as well as adding {{RPGseed}} after some more consideration on the matter since the article does assume the proscribed path. - Cavalier One(Squadron channel) 13:07, April 2, 2012 (UTC)
- Looks good. I think since this is a fully fleshed-out adventure, the "seed" template isn't right -- I'm not sure if "RPG" is either, but take a look at the change I made. ~Savage 13:22, April 2, 2012 (UTC)
- Looks good. I think since this is a fully fleshed-out adventure, the "seed" template isn't right -- I'm not sure if "RPG" is either, but take a look at the change I made. ~Savage
- Added a little something, as well as adding {{RPGseed}} after some more consideration on the matter since the article does assume the proscribed path. - Cavalier One
- Well, yes and no. The events laid out occur as the adventure is more a chance to character roleplay than to shoot things. The resolution of many of the meetings are subject to how the players chose to play the scenario, and as such, the exact outcome is never mentioned. Ex. We know they met with General Dade and the defense forces reps to discuss military aid, but the extent of the conversation and any promises made is at the discretion of the GM and players. Also, obtaining the star maps has several possibilities, but none are listed as none of the options listed may be the correct avenue. All that is known is that the maps are obtained.
Any further quotes using the "mab" word to lead off the "Inhabitants" section?- Nope. Pretty scarce on the quote front.
Is the the in "The Bank" capitalized when used mid-sentence in the original source? Standard English would decapitalize it, but I thought it might be worth checking, since SW authors sometimes do things differently.- I rechecked, and it isn't. Changed accordingly.
Can you indicate who wrote "Death Is Remotely Possible" in BTS? That's it! ~Savage 14:53, March 31, 2012 (UTC)- Added. - Cavalier One(Squadron channel) 15:52, March 31, 2012 (UTC)
- Added. - Cavalier One
Sarne?
A question: Would it be more appropriate to list Moff Sarne's forces as an affiliation in the infobox, rather than Sarne himself? I originally added it in, but removed it when I realized that I wasn't sure if "Moff Sarne's forces" referred to his entire dominion or just his military.- I currently only use it to describe his military forces, so at the moment I think leaving it out is correct. Unfortunately, his dominion hasn't been given a proper title yet :(
Infobox lists Humans as the immigrated species, but the single mention of Humans in the article itself doesn't really get that information across. Maybe something in "Inhabitants" about it?- Added a little something, although I did feel that explaining the entire colonization effort would have made that unnecessary.
I feel like their system of government should be introduced in "Description." As that section discusses similar information such as industry and population, it seems like an appropriate place to detail government.- Well, there are two distinct governments - the local and Imperial - and the post Imperial confusion. Would all be mentioned, or just the local? And, to be honest, we have no idea how long the local government was in existence for.
- I think local and Imperial are both worth a mention, even if they can only be attached to a finite timeframe; things like population and imports/exports seem to be similarly timeframe-specific. I'd probably leave out the confusion bit, but if there's a goodway to work in a mention of it, go for it. Menkooroo 19:42, April 16, 2012 (UTC)
- Added in original and Imperial control periods, but left out the post-Sarne situation since that is dealt with at length in the history section. - Cavalier One(Squadron channel) 21:50, April 23, 2012 (UTC)
- Added in original and Imperial control periods, but left out the post-Sarne situation since that is dealt with at length in the history section. - Cavalier One
- I think local and Imperial are both worth a mention, even if they can only be attached to a finite timeframe; things like population and imports/exports seem to be similarly timeframe-specific. I'd probably leave out the confusion bit, but if there's a goodway to work in a mention of it, go for it. Menkooroo 19:42, April 16, 2012 (UTC)
- Well, there are two distinct governments - the local and Imperial - and the post Imperial confusion. Would all be mentioned, or just the local? And, to be honest, we have no idea how long the local government was in existence for.
BTS switches between past and present tenses a couple of times, eg: "If the players choose this option, the gamemaster had the option..." Probably best to pick one and be consistent throughout.- Fixed, I believe.
The first sentence of the "Moff Sarne preparing for pirate purge" KatholNet post in Death is Remotely Possible could be a quote somewhere in "History," couldn't it? Unlike the rest of the post, it's reporting on a factual occurrence!:) Menkooroo 03:57, April 16, 2012 (UTC)- Added. - Cavalier One(Squadron channel) 17:25, April 16, 2012 (UTC)
- Added. - Cavalier One
Comments
Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 00:16, April 24, 2012 (UTC)