- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.
Contents
Ewok battle wagon
- Nominated by: ~Savage
20:36, August 3, 2011 (UTC) - Nomination comments: Barn burning, Ewoks style. I've used the Vehicle infobox, as it gives more options for a mobile weapon such as this. ~Savage
20:36, August 3, 2011 (UTC)
(4 Inqs/2 Users/6 Total)
Support
- Kilson(Let's have a chat) 05:53, August 6, 2011 (UTC)
- Nice.--Exiled Jedi
(Greetings) 16:56, August 7, 2011 (UTC)
Don't fuck with Ewoks. Ever. IFYLOFD (Floyd's crib) 01:25, August 9, 2011 (UTC)
--Eyrezer 19:58, August 23, 2011 (UTC)
Menkooroo 03:44, September 23, 2011 (UTC)
CC7567 (talk) 06:11, September 23, 2011 (UTC)
Object
Let the burning of barn continue!
In the Infobox, I believe you can fill in the "Affiliation" and "Role" fields. In the first, you can put Bright Tree Village and the Dulok tribe, and in the second, you could say "Anti-infantry" or something along those lines.In the third paragraph of the Intro, you should mention the year Wicket rebuilt the wagon.Since technically this is a vehicle article, you should probably change the Description section to a Characteristics section to be more consistent with previously promoted vehicle articles.In the Reconstruction subsection of the History section, you say at one point, "A few days before the Ewoks finished the repairs,[9] the scout informed the ruler of his tribe..." However, later on you say, "After several weeks of work, Warrick declared the repairs on the wagon complete." You can see the slight inconsistency in time here.- Otherwise, great job. A well written article Bob. Kilson(Let's have a chat) 15:41, August 5, 2011 (UTC)
- Thanks for the review, Kilson; I'll get to your concerns straightaway. I just wanted to note that I've returned the images to their original orientation, at least temporarily. Although this differs from our general practice of alternating left/right, it only does so in one place, and doing it allows for a more aesthetically pleasing presentation, in my opinion. This is because of the orientation of the images in the current configuration leads toward the center of the page, thus also leading the reader's eye into the text and not to the edges of their monitor. I can change it back if people really want me to, but I thought I'd explain my reasoning for varying from our normal practice first. ~Savage
16:08, August 5, 2011 (UTC)
- I guess. I'm not an expert on image placement, so I'll just go with what you put down. :P Kilson(Let's have a chat) 05:53, August 6, 2011 (UTC)
- OK, all should be addressed. The timeline issue wasn't clear, so hopefully now it is: The Dulok spy sees Wicket a few days before he finishes the wagon, but the entire project of restoration takes several weeks. Hopefully it works now. ~Savage
21:06, August 5, 2011 (UTC)
- Thanks for the review, Kilson; I'll get to your concerns straightaway. I just wanted to note that I've returned the images to their original orientation, at least temporarily. Although this differs from our general practice of alternating left/right, it only does so in one place, and doing it allows for a more aesthetically pleasing presentation, in my opinion. This is because of the orientation of the images in the current configuration leads toward the center of the page, thus also leading the reader's eye into the text and not to the edges of their monitor. I can change it back if people really want me to, but I thought I'd explain my reasoning for varying from our normal practice first. ~Savage
Eyrezer
A couple of points that I think you have missed mentioning: an Ewok can ride inside the skull, and the top platform is not completely flat, but has a raised section at the front end. --Eyrezer 05:21, August 20, 2011 (UTC)
- Good call on the top deck; rectified. About the skull, though, I mention that Ewoks and Duloks can fit inside. Do you think it needs to be made clearer? ~Savage
20:24, August 22, 2011 (UTC)
I don't think calling the top deck uneven works. It is not uneven so much as two levels joined by a ramp section, although I am sure you can word that more elegantly. --Eyrezer 09:32, August 23, 2011 (UTC)- I've done a bit more to describe the structure, so take another look. ~Savage
18:53, August 23, 2011 (UTC)
- I've done a bit more to describe the structure, so take another look. ~Savage
Ewok batter
Ref [3] seems redundant --- each time it's used, the prose already says "hundreds of seasons." Is an explanatory ref necessary if the explanation is already in the prose?- Could the full name of "Ewok battle wagon" be used somewhere in the "Description" section? It doesn't appear until "History."
It doesn't seem like Endor is mentioned until the "History" section, where it's not linked or given context. Did you mean to mention it somewhere in "Characteristics?"Menkooroo 07:35, August 22, 2011 (UTC)- OK, how's it look now? ~Savage
20:30, August 22, 2011 (UTC)
- OK, how's it look now? ~Savage
Sorry it took so long to get back to this!! Anyway. In "Characteristics," the upper deck being uneven is mentioned twice in the second paragraph. After the first mention (caused the upper deck to be uneven, with an upward-slanting...), the bottom level is then discussed, and then The upper deck was uneven such that the front end was slightly higher than the back. is said. Was this repetition intentional?- The "Characteristics" section looks great. The only other concern I had was one more instance of repeated info: The final paragraph says "One of the upper platform's hand cranks raised and lowered the front ramp", while an earlier paragraph says "A crank on the wagon's upper platform attached to the front wall raised and lowered it like a ramp". It definitely seems like essential info in both paragraphs, but the final paragraph kinda reads like it's presenting the info for the first time. Can you tweak it a bit so that it builds on the already-established info rather than repeating it? Does that make sense?
- Also, the final paragraph explicitly calls it a "ramp" while the earlier paragraph calls it a wall and compares it to a ramp. ... Discrepancy? You tell me! :D I'll take a look at the "History" section at work tomorrow, baby! Menkooroo 15:00, September 18, 2011 (UTC)
- Warrick found himself held prisoner in the very cage he had reconstructed. --- can a mention of him constructing the cage be added to the end of the second paragraph of Reconstruction? This is currently the first time the cage is mentioned in the "History" section, and thus the first time the reader is told that Wicket built the cage. Kinda comes as a surprise.
All from me.Great job, and definitely a fun read. Menkooroo 02:46, September 21, 2011 (UTC)- All great catches. I've tried to address them. As for the cage, I changed the line slightly, since we never actually see who reconstructs the cage; it could Malani, or it could have survived from Erpham's day. Take a look. ~Savage
03:40, September 23, 2011 (UTC)
- All great catches. I've tried to address them. As for the cage, I changed the line slightly, since we never actually see who reconstructs the cage; it could Malani, or it could have survived from Erpham's day. Take a look. ~Savage
Comments
Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 06:11, September 23, 2011 (UTC)
- I know that we use images containing artists' signatures in the IU parts of articles all the time, but something about the big "Planetary map inside!" message in the one picture strikes me as very in-your-face OOU. Do you think it should be cropped? Menkooroo 07:35, August 22, 2011 (UTC)
- I do! --Eyrezer 07:57, August 22, 2011 (UTC)
- Cropping would remove the AT-ST and the front end of the wagon from the image, though, which I think would not be very good. If you mean remove the text and replace with just plain yellow, I wouldn't have a problem with that, but someone with Photoshop would have to do it, since I lack that program these days... ~Savage
20:25, August 22, 2011 (UTC)
- Cropping would remove the AT-ST and the front end of the wagon from the image, though, which I think would not be very good. If you mean remove the text and replace with just plain yellow, I wouldn't have a problem with that, but someone with Photoshop would have to do it, since I lack that program these days... ~Savage
- I do! --Eyrezer 07:57, August 22, 2011 (UTC)