Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Duel on Tython

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Duel on Tython

(5 Inq/0 User/5 Total)

Support

  1. Inqvote —Xwing328(Talk) 22:01, 18 May 2008 (UTC)
  2. Inqvote Thefourdotelipsis 08:34, 10 June 2008 (UTC)
  3. Inqvote As a big fan of Darth Bane, I enjoyed this article. Chack Jadson (Talk) 22:25, 12 June 2008 (UTC)
  4. Inqvote Lord Hydronium 00:40, 15 June 2008 (UTC)
  5. Inqvote I, for one, like so-called "overly detailed" articles. Queue this sucker. -- Darth Culator (Talk) 03:35, 15 June 2008 (UTC)

Oppose

  1. From the cockpit of Xwing328
    • "Johun Othone returned with Master Farfalla..." This paragraph doesn't start well. Othone is "returning," but why, what from? Who is he? What's he doing here?
    • Question, not objection: "...the two Sith Lords, Bane and Zannah." Was Zannah actually a Sith Lord at this point?
      • Yes. Shortly afterwards (after he had recovered of course), Bane yelled at her, addressing her as "Darth Zannah".
    • "Echani Jedi Master and unparalleled lightsaber duelist..." She's obviously not an unparalleled lightsaber duelist, since she was defeated. Consider rewording to simply, "Echani Jedi Weapon Master..." —Xwing328(Talk) 04:38, 16 May 2008 (UTC)
      • Addressed.
    • "impressive" is POV, as is "clumsy and mediocre."
      • Addressed.
    • "When the dust settled," is a bit cliched and informal.
      • Addressed.
    • "While it has never been specified, Valenthyne Farfalla may be a practitioner of the second form of lightsaber combat. While dueling Darth Bane, Farfalla's style was described as elegant and clean, with perfect form. These characteristics are synonymous with those shared by masters of Makashi." - You must source this, and due to that, you'll have to source the entire article.
      • Addressed.
    • An enjoyable article...perhaps a bit too detailed in spots, but not glaringly so. Good job. Thefourdotelipsis 04:27, 8 June 2008 (UTC)
      • Yeah, I know it can come across as overly detailed, sorta play-by-playish, but thats how it had to be done. Otherwise, I'd have been left with telling that five Jedi went in, and no Jedi came out lol. Duels unfortunately sit on that fine line between being either play-by-play, or rather nondescript. I'm glad you enjoyed it though, I definitely enjoyed reading it (the book)!—Tommy(There are no Jedi here) 18:10, 9 June 2008 (UTC)
  2. From the Couch of Chack Jadson:
    • Is there an article for the fortress?
      • There is now. Addressed.
    • You use intense twice in the intro.
      • Addressed.
    • Why do you have “death himself”?
      • Addressed.
    • The body starts off a little confusing.
      • Addressed.
    • Context on Bane’s orbalisk problem please.
      • Addressed
    • In the 1st paragraph of Part 2, explain how Othone was hurting Xaj or remove it.
      • Addressed. Bit demanding there, aren't we? ;)
    • Clarify on what the cloaked essence is.
      • Added "Force" in there, so everyone knows I mean her Force aura. Addressed.
    • I think the last two paragraphs of the BTS don’t belong here. Either make it more relevant or remove it. Chack Jadson (Talk) 22:25, 12 June 2008 (UTC)
      • Don't know how to make it more relevant than it already is, so I'll just remove it. Addressed.


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