Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Diergu-Rea Duhnes'rd

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Diergu-Rea Duhnes'rd

(5 Inqs/1 User/6 Total)

Support

  1. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 20:57, 17 April 2008 (UTC)
  2. Inqvote Graestan(Talk) 00:50, 22 April 2008 (UTC)
  3. Inqvote -- Darth Culator (Talk) 02:58, 22 April 2008 (UTC)
  4. Inqvote Toprawa and Ralltiir 06:38, 22 April 2008 (UTC)
  5. Inqvote Interesting stuff! Thefourdotelipsis 11:32, 23 April 2008 (UTC)
  6. Inqvote Imperialles 19:05, 23 April 2008 (UTC)

Oppose

  1. Toprawa:
    • Please specify, if possible, how many others were aboard their ship, or otherwise specify somehow that others were lost. This kind of reads strange without it: "The Corellians' wave-skimmer had hit a cluster of rocks, and between the jagged rocks and the carnivorous melk, only two males named Hanugar and Sevik were left in one piece."
    • In the previous sentence, no one is mentioned besides the Corellians. This is essentially saying the downed Corellians took themselves aboard the starship. Please reword: "They took the two aboard their sail barge," Toprawa and Ralltiir
  2. From the squalid cubicle of Graestan:
    • "the two became both lovers and bounty hunting partners, proving immensely successful" – You might want to clarify that they were successful as bounty hunters only, leaving the lovers bit out.
    • Some context for K'zk in the intro, please.
    • "subterranean caves" is redundant.
    • "a chance to potentially" is also redundant.
    • "The Qwohogs told Duhnes'rd and Solum'ke of a massive coral outcropping, located on the far side of the Great Zelosi Sea, named Zelosian's Chine, where it was alleged that a great treasure of crystals and jewelry was hidden in caves, left there by a long dead Zelosian merchant prince two hundred years earlier." – This may well be the longest sentence by someone aside from Cicero that I've ever read. :P Please break it up.
    • "the tides were far too high to enter the caves without drowning" – Please reword, indicating something besides the tides drowning.
    • "the Qwohogs waited anxiously on the sail barge. They entered the cave" – I removed the extra "while," but I think you should reword these sentences so it doesn't sound as though the Qwohogs went.
    • Graestan(Talk) 01:09, 21 April 2008 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 20:11, 24 April 2008 (UTC)

  • Not listing this as an opposing point, because I may be the one confused here, but there seems to be some duplication in the refs and the appearances/sources. I think even under the rules proposed by the new CT they'd still only be one entry. -- Darth Culator (Talk) 19:29, 19 April 2008 (UTC)
    • The info reffed to the Journal comes from the little character blurbs in the Journal, which aren't included with the story in the reprints; at least in my opinion, it thus can't really be considered part of Day of the Sepulchral Night. If that makes sense. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 19:40, 19 April 2008 (UTC)
  • Awesome use of "wild bantha chase," by the way. ;) Toprawa and Ralltiir 21:54, 20 April 2008 (UTC)