Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Davin Felth/Legends

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Davin Felth

(6 Inqs/3 Users/9 Total)

Support

  1. A non-ESB nom. Toprawa and Ralltiir 02:48, 10 February 2008 (UTC)
  2. Chack Jadson (Talk) 15:09, 16 February 2008 (UTC)
  3. Inqvote -- Darth Culator (Talk) 03:09, 21 February 2008 (UTC)
  4. Inqvote Nice work. --Eyrezer 23:45, 25 February 2008 (UTC)
  5. Goodwood Redstarbird (Alliance Intelligence) 00:30, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
  6. Inqvote -- Master Aban Fiolli {Alpheridies University ComNet} 00:05, 29 February 2008 (UTC)
  7. Inqvote Though I cannot believe we're letting him get away with "athletic-looking Human." I don't care if that's in the text, that's karking stupid! Points to the writer (not Toprawa) for lamest characterization of Han Solo ever. Atarumaster88 Jedi Order (Talk page) 22:28, 2 March 2008 (UTC)
  8. Inqvote Traitor. Graestan(Talk) 03:11, 6 March 2008 (UTC)
  9. Inqvote My sincere apologies on how long this took. Hobbes(Tiger's Lair) 02:05, 7 March 2008 (UTC)

Oppose

  1. From the Bridge of Chack Jadson:
    • In Assignment to Tatooine, you mention his one-in-a-million career. That sounds repetitive, as you already used a that phrase section earler. I know it was in a quote, but still.
      • Agreed. Reworded.
    • You refer to Han as an athletic-looking Human three times. Please change it.
    • Also, wasn't Greedo the "attractive" Rodian? If so, I suggest making a pipe link from male Rodian to Greedo.
    • Overall, excellent. Chack Jadson (Talk) 20:47, 11 February 2008 (UTC)
  2. File:Felthy.jpg is really awful, and if there's no way to save it, suggest removing it entirely.--Goodwood Redstarbird (Alliance Intelligence) 22:35, 25 February 2008 (UTC)
  3. Three cheese tortellini from the Pasta Bowl of Fiolli:
    • "When Felth had the nerve to inquire why the escape pod was so important, Terrik snapped that he should perform his duties without questioning orders." I know what you are saying, but "having nerve" is negatively connotative. Any way to smoothen this over using other wording, even another idiomatic phrase can be acceptable.
      • Reworded.
    • "Felth's partner casually flipped off a shot at the creature with his own blaster rifle, sending the dead Jawa crashing back against the wreckage." It makes it seem like the Jawa was already dead. Was he? If so, how was he killed so suddenly?
      • Clarified.
    • As he and his partner had exited the cantina to rejoin the search, Zeta Squadron came marching determinedly around a corner towards Felth when a maddened Jawa jumped out from behind the cover of a pile of starship wreckage that was the long since downed Dowager Queen." Very long sentence and I don't quite understand the last part in italics.
      • Broke up sentence and clarified.
    • Nice work on the article, Toprawa; Please forgive my "nitpickiness." My only other comment would be that some sentences are a little too compounded and could possibly be broken up. Nothing major and don't consider this an objection to the article. Master Aban Fiolli {Alpheridies University ComNet} 02:33, 26 February 2008 (UTC)
      • I'll see what I can reword with this. Don't consider it nitpicking, Fiolli. This is exactly the kind of feedback we need. Very much appreciated. Toprawa and Ralltiir 05:59, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
  4. From the lair of Hobbes15
    • "Felth was only saved from further punishment other than a strict warning by his still being a first-day rookie."? Don't know what this is supposed to say, but something's definitely off.
      • Turned the sentence around/removed passive voice
    • "He and his roommates would not dare be caught out of bed before reveille after witnessing first hand what happened to such violators." What was it?
      • A little specification, per IRC
    • "With this move, Veers had cemented his own rise to the top, fearing the young Davin Felth would ruin his career, or, worse, succeed him." This doesn't really make sense either.
    • "While his fellow troopers eagerly reveled in the mystery that surrounded the indistinguishable nature of the Stormtrooper Corps..." Was this explicitly stated in the source, or is it extrapolation?
    • Hobbes(Tiger's Lair) 03:35, 26 February 2008 (UTC)
  5. From the desk of Atarumaster88
    • My one single issue with this is the occasional use of colloquialisms. Two in particular stand out: "As if they were hit on the head with a hammer", and especially "follow Veer's orders to a tee." Find a way to reword those or something; the tone is a little off for an encyclopedia.
    • Cheers, and have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating day. Atarumaster88 Jedi Order (Talk page) 00:10, 1 March 2008 (UTC)
      • And that's what you get for trying to add a little spice to an article. :P Reworded. Toprawa and Ralltiir 01:50, 1 March 2008 (UTC)
  6. From Graestan the Mighty:
    • File:Felthy.jpg Horrible quality.
      • Culator re-scanned and uploaded… still not great, but leave it shrunk to the size I set, please, to reduce the impact. Graestan(Talk) 03:11, 6 March 2008 (UTC)
    • He destroyed the fighters by having the AT-AT kneel on them?
      • Naturally
    • "the remote Outer Rim Territories desert planet Tatooine"—Can we spread all these qualities out over other sentences, or rewrite with creative punctuation?
      • Yes, this reads much better now
    • "with his name all but stricken from him … nameless servant" is a bit redundant.
      • Reworded
    • End of the third paragraph of "Subversion at Mos Eisley" is POVish.
      • Fixed
    • Smelling salt redlink would be an easy fix; most likely only in the one source.
      • Utterly obliterated
    • P&T leans a bit POVish, too; avoid directly calling the Empire evil or tyrannical.
      • Fixed
    • Great P&T. This is not an objection. I can't hate on those one-sentence paragraphs, either. Tomato, tomato. (That doesn't really work in print, does it?) Graestan(Talk) 01:53, 2 March 2008 (UTC)

Comments Approved by Inquisitorius 3:40, 7 March 2008 (UTC)

  • The infobox image is, admittedly, poor quality. It will be reuploaded. Toprawa and Ralltiir 02:48, 10 February 2008 (UTC)
  • The Complete Visual Dictionary (p. 213) indicates that the part which was found by the stormtroopers on Tatooine was a metallic ring from one of 3PO's knee joints rather than something from an R2 unit. Maybe you could work this in somewhere. --Borsk Fey'lya Talk 14:13, 10 February 2008 (UTC)
    • Yes, very interesting. Good BTS info. Thanks, Borsk. Toprawa and Ralltiir 18:42, 10 February 2008 (UTC)
  • "When Felth heard a sudden scream emanate from a blockhouse not far from his position, he took the opportunity to break away from the sweep to interrogate the source of the disturbance. His search led him into a dimly lit cantina,[...]" I'm missing a mention of Garouf Lafoe here. He informed Felth and 1047 about Obi-Wan's lightsaber performance. (see ANH and Complete Locations) --Borsk Fey'lya Talk 21:57, 11 February 2008 (UTC)