Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Dasha Defano

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Dasha Defano

  • Nominated by: Cavalier OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 10:00, October 28, 2011 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: TCW isn't the only place to find blue skinned women. WEG was doing it before it was trendy.

(5 Inqs/2 Users/7 Total)

Support

  1. Inqvote IFYLOFD (Floyd's crib) 00:29, October 29, 2011 (UTC)
  2. Star Wars really likes blue people. ~SavageBOB sig 12:40, November 3, 2011 (UTC)
  3. Inqvote Toprawa and Ralltiir 00:44, November 19, 2011 (UTC)
  4. Inqvote 1358 (Talk) 13:53, November 22, 2011 (UTC)
  5. Inqvote --Eyrezer 11:05, December 6, 2011 (UTC)
  6. Hanzo Hasashi 22:37, January 6, 2012 (UTC)
  7. Inqvote Sorry for the delay.—Tommy 9281 Sunday, January 8, 2012, 20:12 UTC

Object

Prepare to be savaged…
  • Should her status as a pilot be mentioned in the first, not second, line? My understanding is that that line should be a one-line definition of the subject, and for Defano, I think pilot-hood is pretty important.
    • Changed a little
  • Are there any synonyms you could use for privateer in the first paragraph of the bio? If so, it might be good to mix up the language a bit. If not, no worries.
    • "Privateer" is a specific term, and a synonym might confuse the meaning.
      • I substituted "group" for one of them. If you don't think it works, feel free to go back. ~SavageBOB sig 12:40, November 3, 2011 (UTC)
  • Might be worth noting Gorjaye's and Gul'Rah's species upon first mention, since they seemed to have a close relationship that was cross-species.
    • Added.
  • Can you add a brief line that the mutineers were not killed/spaced/kicked off? It took me by surprise to see Gul-Rah mentioned again in the paragraph after the mutiny, since I assumed he would no longer be part of the crew.
    • Added.
  • Can you add the publication date and authors of the source that introduced her?
    • Added.
  • Similarly, probably worth noting who illustrated her.
    • Added.
  • You can add a few more notes to P&T about her physical appearance: perhaps note that her hair while aboard the FarStar was long and curly (or wavy?), and that she wore the uniform of an X-Wing pilot. That's it! Nice work. ~SavageBOB sig 13:14, November 1, 2011 (UTC)
    • Added the hair part, but not the clothing. It's a military uniform, and its established that she is a military pilot so wearing the uniform of a pilot is expected, no? The image clearly shows her in the pilot rig. Besides, short of saying she wore the uniform, there's nothing else to add. If she was shown in multiple images with different clothing, the entry might be warranted, but I don't feel it is in this case. - Cavalier OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 18:04, November 2, 2011 (UTC)
      • I see your reasoning on the uniform, but I've seen this done for many other characters. If it were me, I'd definitely add a line about it (too often we assume that if something is in a picture it doesn't have to be explained in prose, but that assumes none or our readers is blind and using a screen reader, for one thing). But I'll yield if you feel strongly it's irrelevant to add the information. ~SavageBOB sig 12:40, November 3, 2011 (UTC)
Ecks Dee
  • The only objection I have is about the second sentence in the intro: "…Defano served with a Wroonian privateer gang before leaving after a raid ended in…" The amount of verbs so close to each other here (served, leaving, ended) makes the sentence sound a bit odd. Could you perhaps reword a bit? 1358 (Talk) 01:25, November 19, 2011 (UTC)
Tommy
  • "Defano participated fully in shipboard life during the FarStar's months-long mission and even entered a gunnery competition shortly after the ship left the planet Binaros in an effort to win an extended shore leave pass." This reads like the ship left the planet to win an extended shore leave pass.

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