Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Darth Revan's Sith Holocron

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Darth Revan's Sith Holocron

  • Nominated by: —Jedi Kasra (comlink) 21:25, August 16, 2010 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Drew Karpyshyn really nailed Revan's teachings in Path of Destruction.

(4 Inqs/6 Users/10 Total)

Support

  1. Inqvote Jonjedigrandmaster (Talk) 22:25, August 16, 2010 (UTC)
  2. Inqvote—Tommy 9281 22:40, August 16, 2010 (UTC)
  3. Menkooroo 00:35, August 17, 2010 (UTC)
  4. Darth Trayus(Trayus Academy) 07:05, August 18, 2010 (UTC)
  5. SoresuMakashi(Everything I tell you is the truth) 03:31, August 19, 2010 (UTC)
  6. Superb. Clone Commander Lee Talk 17:16, August 20, 2010 (UTC)
  7. —Master Jonathan New Jedi Order (Jedi Council Chambers) 20:24, August 23, 2010 (UTC)
  8. -- 1358 (Talk) 20:25, August 28, 2010 (UTC)
  9. Inqvote Xicer9Atgar(Combadge) 03:42, September 5, 2010 (UTC)
  10. Inqvote Objections taken care of via IRC. Cylka-talk- 02:45, September 6, 2010 (UTC)

Object

Twin:
  • I would suggest formatting this article like Asli Krimsan's holocron, our only holocron FA to date.
  • I would also suggest using "Darth" Revan when talking about the holocron, because using only "Revan" could confuse potential readers into thinking that the holocron was created while Revan was a Jedi.
  • Other than that, not bad.—Tommy 9281 22:17, August 16, 2010 (UTC)
  • No problem, just a couple more. I would suggest removing the image of Darth Bane so that the article doesn't seem so cluttered with images.
  • I would also refrain from linking to Sith magic because, while "ritual" does lead one toward Sith magic, the thought bomb was never explicitly stated to be a part of.—Tommy 9281 22:35, August 16, 2010 (UTC)
    • OK, removed the links. Thanks for letting me know.—Jedi Kasra (comlink) 22:36, August 16, 2010 (UTC)
Trayus Academy
  • Actually, I only saw one issue: you make no note of the fact that Bane eventually transcribed the flimsi recordings into the Telos Holocron, as noted in The Essential Guide to the Force. With that, you'll also need to note that Revan's teachings survived within the Holocron to later be studied by Sidious and then the New Jedi Order in 40 BBY.
  • Other than that, very thorough and well-written. Darth Trayus(Trayus Academy) 06:39, August 17, 2010 (UTC)
Soresu
  • KotOR and the Bane Trilogy together? How could I resist?
    • I couldn't, which is why I'm doing this!—Jedi Kasra (comlink) 00:24, August 18, 2010 (UTC)
  • a Sith Master who trained more than one apprentice in the dark side was a fool, stating that multiple students would combine their efforts and overthrow the Master. Could be made more clear that apprentices working together is a bad thing, as each individual is weaker than the Master.
  • IIRC, I don't think Bane sensed the Holocron as much as noticed it with his eyes.
    • He did sense it, though before he removed the stone concealing it he didn't know what he sensed.—Jedi Kasra (comlink) 00:24, August 18, 2010 (UTC)
      • According to my copy of PoD, it says he noticed the light with his eyes, and simply used the Force to activate the opening mechanism. SoresuMakashi(Everything I tell you is a lie) 10:57, August 18, 2010 (UTC)
        • I believe it's referring to the violet hue given of by the stone in front of the Holocron, rather than the object itself. He's not looking at the Holocron itself at this point. I added that it was the power of the Holocron he sensed.—Jedi Kasra (comlink) 17:57, August 18, 2010 (UTC)
  • Is it said that the Jedi removed the artifacts from the Temple, and not some other group?
    • After re-reading it, the book doesn't exactly say, though in the previous chapter, it says that Lehon was closed off by the Republic on the Jedi's instructions. Maybe I could say Jedi and Republic forces, but it's probably not a good idea.—Jedi Kasra (comlink) 00:32, August 18, 2010 (UTC)
  • The Holocron also explained the purpose and nature of ancient Sith rituals, which were considered dangerous for a Sith Master to attempt. Were all rituals dangerous, or only the ones he taught?
    • I put "some of which," because this is actually what the book says.—Jedi Kasra (comlink) 00:24, August 18, 2010 (UTC)
  • I think that's it; interesting article. SoresuMakashi(Everything I tell you is a lie) 00:06, August 18, 2010 (UTC)
  • Oh yeah, and the Holocron's last words the strong rule; the weak are meant to serve should have mention in the contents section. SoresuMakashi(Everything I tell you is the truth) 10:57, August 18, 2010 (UTC)
Graestan
  • Is there a specific source that literally says "Darth Revan's Sith Holocron," naming it that way, capitalizing all the words of it?
    • The Essential Guide to the Force does.—Jedi Kasra (comlink) 07:12, August 20, 2010 (UTC)
  • Capitalization of "holocron" throughout the article is inconsistent. Only capitalize the word when it is a title, such as in the case of the above question.
    • There's only one instance where "holocron" is used, in the History section when it states that "Darth Revan created a holocron…" When referring to the artifact itself, it's referred to as "Holocron" in short, which Path of Destruction uses.—Jedi Kasra (comlink) 07:25, August 20, 2010 (UTC)
  • "Contents" should be a subheading of "Properties."
    • Really? Because that's not how the Asli Krimsan holocron's article is formatted. In any case, it's fixed.—Jedi Kasra (comlink) 07:25, August 20, 2010 (UTC)
      • I think this may warrant a bit of discussion: properties refers exclusively to the physical and functional features of a holocron, while contents refers to the data that has been stored within. Given precedent and the distinction between the two terms, I think they should be kept as separate headers. Darth Trayus(Trayus Academy) 07:46, August 20, 2010 (UTC)
  • We call it "Lehon" in the KotOR time period, correct? It wasn't Rakata Prime anymore by that point? I mean, the Rakata weren't really around anymore, just the dumbed-down descendants.
    • It was renamed Lehon sometime after the Jedi Civil War, according to Path of Destruction. Doesn't specifically say when, just that it was.—Jedi Kasra (comlink) 07:25, August 20, 2010 (UTC)
  • These are my prelims. Graestan(Talk) 21:55, August 19, 2010 (UTC)
    • Look forward the rest of the review.—Jedi Kasra (comlink) 07:25, August 20, 2010 (UTC)
      • Also, if you want to go over the article on IRC, just let me know when and I'll be there.—Jedi Kasra (comlink) 05:51, August 21, 2010 (UTC)
From the Council Chambers:
  • The second paragraph under "Contents" has two consecutive sentences using the phrase "and encouraged" in the same way. Please reword one of them.
  • The last sentence of the "Contents" section makes it sound like what has been said over the last three paragraphs is everything contained in the Holocron, which isn't the case. Please clarify.
  • "Shortly after inspecting the Holocron, Bane used the Force to destroy the device,": I think the bit about inspecting it is unnecessary and possibly a bit play-by-play; consider removing it.
  • The BTS as a whole is a bit choppy and doesn't flow very well.
    • Please try it.—Jedi Kasra (comlink) 04:40, August 23, 2010 (UTC)
      • Better, but now the title "Darth Revan's Sith Holocron" is repetitive, being used three times in four sentences. See if you can find an alternate way of referring to it there. —Master Jonathan New Jedi Order (Jedi Council Chambers) 15:41, August 23, 2010 (UTC)
        • Took out the third instance of that.—Jedi Kasra (comlink) 17:50, August 23, 2010 (UTC)
  • Otherwise, great work. —Master Jonathan New Jedi Order (Jedi Council Chambers) 03:06, August 23, 2010 (UTC)
Xd1358
  • Intro: "Bane went on to purge the ruling Sith regime..." That sounds like Bane purged the Sith regime during the 7th battle of Ruusan, as you link to it, but AFAIK, he was the only survivor of the battle, not the one who destroyed the Sith during it. I might be wrong, however.
    • He was indeed the only Sith survivor, but in Path of Destruction he gives Kaan instructions on the thought bomb (which came from Revan's holocron). Other sources say that he destroyed the Brotherhood, including the book.—Jedi Kasra (comlink) 20:04, August 28, 2010 (UTC)
  • "Darth Revan's Sith Holocron was created by the Sith Lord..." This is a bit confusing; could you possibly say "..created by Dark Lord of Sith Revan.." to avoid any confusion?
  • History: Same thing as objection one.
  • Some kind of indication when (I am searching for a date) Sidious studied the Telos holocron?
    • No indication is given. He could have studied this at any time during his time as a Sith, so I'm reluctant to say when he did so.—Jedi Kasra (comlink) 20:04, August 28, 2010 (UTC)
  • Question: Could you add release dates for all items in the Bts?
    • I don't really see the need for it, since a user could just as easily click on the link. I view this as more important for video game-based articles, but if you really want me to, I will.—Jedi Kasra (comlink) 20:04, August 28, 2010 (UTC)
      • You have convinced me. :P
  • Really interesting article. Good work, Kasra. -- 1358 (Talk) 06:18, August 28, 2010 (UTC)
    • Thanks very much for the review, Xd.—Jedi Kasra (comlink) 20:27, August 28, 2010 (UTC)
Xicer
  • Properties: "The Holocron's gatekeeper was an avatar of Darth Revan, and was powered by a crystal that channeled energy from the Force." The gatekeeper was powered by the crystal, or the whole holocron? Otherwise, great. Xicer9Atgar(Combadge) 20:41, September 4, 2010 (UTC)
    • Done, thanks very much for the review!—Jedi Kasra (comlink) 03:31, September 5, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 07:01, September 9, 2010 (UTC)