Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Darth Nihilus (second nomination)

The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Darth Nihilus

• Nominated by: NaruHina ^Talk 19:45, September 17, 2012 (UTC)
• Nomination comments: I'm dating this project here, but it's a companion to Visas Marr and dedicated to Cylka: I'm sorry.

(3 Inqs/4 Users/7 Total)

Support

Flyn Arc 12:46, September 29, 2012 (UTC) (Vote struck per productivity requirement. --NaruHina 21:45, November 16, 2012)

1. DarthRevan1173 (Long live Lord Revan) 13:05, September 29, 2012 (UTC)
2. Good job. Plagueis327 (talk) 19:57, September 30, 2012 (UTC)
3. IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 01:35, December 16, 2012 (UTC)
4. Nice work.—Jedi Kasra ("Indeed.") 01:26, December 20, 2012 (UTC)
5. Cavalier One^{(Squadron channel)} 14:11, January 15, 2013 (UTC)
6. Menkooroo (talk) 02:43, February 9, 2013 (UTC)
7. Nice. Supreme Emperor (talk) 05:11, February 9, 2013 (UTC)

Object

Floyd

• Intro" "a seeker of such things" What things? Sounds like you could be talking about his affliction or even his body by the way the sentence is worded.
  • "The affliction painfully ravaged his body while rendering him a wound in the Force. He was found by a seeker of these," Did that make it clearer for you? NaruHina ^Talk 06:01, November 19, 2012 (UTC)
• Article for Nihilus and Sion defeating Traya?
  • No. They just pummel her. It's not really a duel or a battle. NaruHina ^Talk 06:01, November 19, 2012 (UTC)
• General linking issues. Go through this article and make sure you've got it all down.
  • Went through. NaruHina ^Talk 13:29, November 20, 2012 (UTC)
    • Still seeing some errors. IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 19:24, December 1, 2012 (UTC)
      • Please point me in the right direction then. Most of the ones I found were ones like flotilla. Maybe you know about articles I don't. NaruHina ^Talk 19:40, December 1, 2012 (UTC)
        • Looked through it again and it seems alright. IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 01:21, December 8, 2012 (UTC)
• Intro: "was collected for burial" by whom?
  • The CSWE didn't say. It was an unnecesary explaination for why his holocron could appear in Legacy, I believe. They didn't really think it through. NaruHina ^Talk 06:01, November 19, 2012 (UTC)
• The image in the first bio section has a blanked text box, which is against policy. Get it re-uploaded.
  • Fixed. NaruHina ^Talk 04:50, November 29, 2012 (UTC)
• You need to more conclusively identify the "Sith Academy" and the Trayus Academy as one and the same in the bio.
  • Done. NaruHina ^Talk 13:29, November 20, 2012 (UTC)
• Fix these and I'll continue. IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 01:59, November 19, 2012 (UTC)
• Your description of his alliance with Vaklu is only mentioned after you mention Surik's return to Republic space, although it occurred "just before Surik's return to Republic space." It should be completely chronological.
  • Fixed. NaruHina ^Talk 02:56, December 2, 2012 (UTC)
    • Not completely. You still mention "Surik's return to Republic space", although you put the info in the correct spot. IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 01:21, December 8, 2012 (UTC)
      • Whoops, I thought I excized that line. Removed. NaruHina ^Talk 02:08, December 8, 2012 (UTC)
        • Now that I think of it, that's really not big enough to deserve its own subsection. It's hardly even a full paragraph length. Try to integrate it into the section before. IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 00:31, December 11, 2012 (UTC)
          • It fit better with the one after. There's no telling how longater he picked up Marr he found his way to Onderon. NaruHina ^Talk 03:55, December 11, 2012 (UTC)
• "inside the tomb of an ancient Dark Lord of the Sith." Who?
  • Added. NaruHina ^Talk 02:56, December 2, 2012 (UTC)
• Is there a link for "ability to draw on the Force energy of those around her"?
  • I don't think so. Force bond, maybe, but it's not treated as literally as her one with Kreia. NaruHina ^Talk 02:56, December 2, 2012 (UTC)
• "Nihilus's spirit was able to survive inside his armor, which survived the destruction of the Ravager." Repetition.
  • Fixed. NaruHina ^Talk 19:40, December 1, 2012 (UTC)
• "Nihilus was aware of some secret faculties of the dark side such as devastating power, used to increase the intensity of an offensive Force technique either by half of its power or to double its power, and distant power, which gave him the ability to increase the range of a Force power to span a star system." You use the word "power" five times in this one sentence. IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 19:24, December 1, 2012 (UTC)
  • Cut the extraneous ones. NaruHina ^Talk 19:40, December 1, 2012 (UTC)

Attack of the Clone

• Two prelims: first, please add the "before-years" and "after-years" to the succession box.
  • Added. There are no years for the successive Sith. NaruHina ^Talk 22:27, January 9, 2013 (UTC)
• Also, please use {{WebCite}} for refs 35 and 36. CC7567 ^(talk) 22:42, December 24, 2012 (UTC)
  • Actually, there's a quandary here I didn't think of until now. The links are broken, and I can't add more information to a {{WebCite}}. Now that the the Team Gizka forums were taken down without archiving, Wookieepedia is the only website that has a complete record of the KotOR II cut content. Any other ones I've found on the Internet have been informal (and thereby suspect and unverifiable) lists. So should I link to ours? NaruHina ^Talk 22:27, January 9, 2013 (UTC)
    • I guess that would be okay, in the absence of the web archive. CC7567 ^(talk) 23:20, January 9, 2013 (UTC)
      • Is this alright, then? What's disturbing is that we almost deleted that article. NaruHina ^Talk 18:07, January 10, 2013 (UTC)

Kriffing nihilists

• The infobox is missing a few parameters. Can you reload it?
  • Did this first one! The others will follow soon. I've been way too busy lately. =~= NaruHina ^Talk 22:43, January 9, 2013 (UTC)
• The intro pipelinks 3,951 BBY to "one year later," but 3,952 BBY isn't mentioned or linked anywhere in the intro.
  • I didn't think that it would need to be, since it's designating time relative to the Conclave anyway, but there you go. NaruHina ^Talk 22:02, January 11, 2013 (UTC)
• Can you establish that he's on Malachor V in the bio's first paragraph? It's currently not mentioned until the second paragraph, after the Mass Shadow Generator's activation, but I think it's important to note that he's on-world before going into the stuff about the devastation.
  • Sure, done. NaruHina ^Talk 22:02, January 11, 2013 (UTC)
• Who crews the flotilla of ships that Nihilus takes around the fringes of space? Is it Sith from the Trayus Academy, or remnants of Revan's Sith Empire? I've never played KOTOR II before so I'm genuinely confused; can you make it clear in the article?
  • That's not divulged in the sources. Presumably, it would be Nihilus slaves, but nothing deals concretely with who they were, though they wear the uniforms of Sith, or if that degeneration happened to people with him during his earlier exploits, when he hadn't absorbed so many worlds. The ones piloting his fleet when he left Malachor after claiming the Ravager could have been students from the Trayus Academy, Sith from Korriban looking to join the winning team during the ongoing Sith Civil War, or just hapless saps Nihilus picked up from Malachor and dominated to his will while he was picking ships for all we know. Tobin was affected so quickly and strongly by exposure to Nihilus, I wouldn't be surprised at all if they came out and said his crews died off like flies. Nihilus slaves were mentioned in the P&T only before, but I threw in a mention where we definitely know that the slaves crewed his ships, during the Battle of Telos IV. Also, I think the name Nihilus slave is just a designation the game gave them, not an official title, so I omitted it in the article. NaruHina ^Talk 22:02, January 11, 2013 (UTC)
• There are a few instances of just <ref>, which was banned by the most recent Mofference. Menkooroo (talk) 14:03, January 6, 2013 (UTC)
  • Oh right. I forgot about that. Case in point for how pointless that was. NaruHina ^Talk 00:20, January 12, 2013 (UTC)
• Some of the KOTOR II refs are sentence fragments yet include punctuation, which in refs is reserved for full sentences, per the first 2011 Mofference.
  • Fixed. NaruHina ^Talk 22:02, January 11, 2013 (UTC)
• The second paragraph of "Onderon and his downfall" only mentions Nihilus twice in passing, and otherwise reads like something out of Meetra Surik's bio. I'd like to see its focus shift more toward Nihilus, and ideally remove some extraneous info about the Exile, too.
  • I think this was brought up before, but Nihilus was so tangentially involved in the early portion of the game that it's not possible to shift focus to him. He wasn't there. However, the things set in motion by the Peragus debacle was such a big part of the backstory—though not a whole lot that ended up on screen aside from Meetra's journey starting—for why parts of Nihilus's plans succeeded (Onderonian sympathy for the secessionists) and failed (Hiya, Meetra) that it can't be left out. The game's actually often criticized for underutilizing Nihilus this way, and I'm inclined to agree, but it does aid his mysterious air somewhat. In any case, I cut out what doesn't connect to events later on like I should have before, and I framerd it differently. However, I can't help feeling the way I tried to make the paragraph about Nihilus is breaking chronology a bit. NaruHina ^Talk 00:20, January 12, 2013 (UTC)
    • I actually really like what you did with the "events that would ultimately lead to..." thing. Good show. Menkooroo (talk) 16:28, January 24, 2013 (UTC)
• Ditto the fourth paragraph of that same section. It goes into way too much detail about Surik's quest, and a lot of what's in there could be cut without the article losing anything. The paragraph should also be rewritten to focus more on Nihilus and less on the Exile.
  • That was considerably simpler to address. NaruHina ^Talk 00:20, January 12, 2013 (UTC)
• The intro mentions that Atris is the lone Force-sensitive at the Telos Academy, but the bio doesn't mention her being there and asserts that there are no Force-sensitives at all.
  • Fixed. NaruHina ^Talk 22:52, January 23, 2013 (UTC)
• "Then Surik learned of his aversion to her Force energy signature and pressed her advantage." This seems to be the first time this aversion is mentioned, but it reads as if it's already been established. Can you word it in more of an introductory way, so the reader knows what's going on?
  • I did forget. xD Reviewed the scene one more time and it's essentially a reiteration of the first sentence of that paragraph based on some dialogue the player can pick at that point in the duel. It can be safely excised, since the premise of the duel itself was the Exile pressing that advantage once Nihilus exhausted himself. NaruHina ^Talk 23:42, February 7, 2013 (UTC)
• There are two instances of ref [4] in a row in the final paragraph of "Assault on Telos IV." Is one of them supposed to be something else?
  • I didn't notice because it looked like a new paragraph to me while I was scanning for doubles. That was where a note about taking the mask used to be, before the CSWE changed things, so removed. NaruHina ^Talk 00:20, January 12, 2013 (UTC)
• Can the bio give context on Korriban? The intro mentions that it's the Sith homeworld, which is good.
  • Done! NaruHina ^Talk 22:26, January 16, 2013 (UTC)
• The fact that Nihilus created a holocron at some point shouldn't be in the game mechanics section, as it's definitely true due to Krayt accessing it later. I'd like to see it mentioned somewhere earlier in the bio, during his rise to power or something.
  • Fixed, albeit thrown in fairly arbitrarily. NaruHina ^Talk 22:26, January 16, 2013 (UTC)
• The OOU Jedi vs. Sith: The Essential Guide to the Force is currently linked in the biography; if there's an in-universe equivalent, it should be linked instead. If not, redlink it.
  • Moved the OOU to a parenthetical title and started a new one on the IU. A bot request has been filed for the swap. NaruHina ^Talk 07:53, January 27, 2013 (UTC)
    • Cool. Change the link to the OOU one in the Sources section and in ref note [10]. Also, I think you missed an above objection (the one about the aversion to the energy signature). Menkooroo (talk) 14:56, January 28, 2013 (UTC)
      • Done. I put in a bot request to change them site wide, but it's gone unanswered as yet. NaruHina ^Talk 23:36, February 7, 2013 (UTC)
• I've been wanting to pipelink Force ghost somewhere, since his spirit is inside his armor, but I'm not sure if it's the same kind of spirit. What do you think? Would the link be appropriate? Menkooroo (talk) 11:02, January 7, 2013 (UTC)
  • See the sentence before the Legacy section. I was thinking that was just for the specific technique Qui-Gon, Yoda, et all used, but I guess not. NaruHina ^Talk 22:26, January 16, 2013 (UTC)
• Didn't KOTOR II come out in '04?
  • Oop. I just took out the year, since the XBox version was 04 and the PC version was 05. NaruHina ^Talk 23:00, January 23, 2013 (UTC)
• Since the BTS is sourcing everything, "and was drawn by Dustin Weaver." should be reffed, too.
  • Fixed. NaruHina ^Talk 22:26, January 16, 2013 (UTC)
    • You can just ref it to the comic if you want, like how "his was written by Chris Avellone" is. I won't object over it, but the myspace ref seems like a bit of overkill. Menkooroo (talk) 16:28, January 24, 2013 (UTC)
      • I don't know if it says he drew it in the comic or not, since I don't have a copy of the Tales issue. More than likely it does, but I can't be sure, so I took a second option. NaruHina ^Talk 18:23, January 24, 2013 (UTC)
• I'd like to see the "Continuity" section sourced throughout for consistency, too.
  • The implied reffing of the article's stated assumption to the CSWE is rather odd, and I can't see a way around it aside from splitting the paragraph, but that would leave two very small ones. NaruHina ^Talk 23:27, January 23, 2013 (UTC)
• "Concept art showed a confrontation between the two" is reffed to the game --- just want to confirm that that's right. The source given for the image is lucasarts.com.
  • I had to do a workaround since the sources are well past defunct. How's that? NaruHina ^Talk 09:53, January 27, 2013 (UTC)
• His black hair should be mentioned somewhere in the in-universe part of the body and not just the BTS.
  • Done. Dreads are really weird to describe. NaruHina ^Talk 09:53, January 27, 2013 (UTC)
• The first paragraph of "Alternate stories" is a little confusing. Can you clarify that Surik is the player character and what "orientation" means in this case?
  • That OK? NaruHina ^Talk 10:20, January 27, 2013 (UTC)
• "The mask Marr recovered from his remains could not be worn; however, the mask did give Surik bonus Force points. If Surik did not ask for the mask, it disappeared with his body." This info is from the first BTS section but is repeated nearly verbatim in the second section. I don't think it needs to be in both; it seems more relevant to the latter than the former and could probably be excised from the former.
  • Fixed. NaruHina ^Talk 09:53, January 27, 2013 (UTC)
• Can you clarify in the last paragraph of "Alternate stories" that you're talking about TOR? It's confusing without a qualifier right now.>/s>
  • Done. NaruHina ^Talk 10:20, January 27, 2013 (UTC)
• "Cut content" should include some text explicitly stating that what's being discussed is cut content. Without the section title, it's confusing. Even something as simple as "This was ultimately cut from the game" or something.
  • Added. This sent me on my path of discovery! :D NaruHina ^Talk 13:32, January 27, 2013 (UTC)
• Any more quotes for the BTS? Chris Avellone's statements about him being Surik's other half, something from the cut content video ... ?
  • Filled out. NaruHina ^Talk 13:32, January 27, 2013 (UTC)
• Who are Canderous and Surik talking about in the quote used for "Alternate stories" ? Menkooroo (talk) 16:14, January 8, 2013 (UTC)
  • Added. NaruHina ^Talk 22:26, January 16, 2013 (UTC)