- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.
Cypher Bos
(6 Inqs/1 User/7 Total)
Support
- -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 18:41, 20 April 2008 (UTC)
I can (with great difficulty) ignore the first name usage in this instance. Toprawa and Ralltiir 20:21, 26 April 2008 (UTC)- -- Darth Culator (Talk) 14:25, 27 April 2008 (UTC)
- Cull Tremayne 08:24, 2 May 2008 (UTC)
Thefourdotelipsis 08:44, 7 May 2008 (UTC)- Graestan(Talk) 12:17, 9 May 2008 (UTC)
- —Xwing328(Talk) 21:16, 11 May 2008 (UTC)
Oppose
There's info missing from Galaxy 5 which I would be happy to help you out with if you would just quit dodging me in IRC! :-P -- Ozzel 19:52, 20 April 2008 (UTC)- Thanks for the scans. I should be able to add it in the morning. :-) -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 21:49, 20 April 2008 (UTC)
- Sorted. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 20:40, 21 April 2008 (UTC)
- Great! -- Ozzel 21:48, 21 April 2008 (UTC)
- Sorted. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 20:40, 21 April 2008 (UTC)
- Thanks for the scans. I should be able to add it in the morning. :-) -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 21:49, 20 April 2008 (UTC)
- From the Merciless Hammer of Toprawa:
"Vicious" is POV: "Cypher Bos was a vicious Nalrithian [[bounty hunter]"- Changed.
This is a bit confusing. You say he worked for the Empire and for Jabba, but then wants a place among the Rebellion. Is he infiltrating the Alliance? Please clarify: "hoping to kill Phoedris and take his place as a member of the Alliance to Restore the Republic"I see that you mention this later on in the paragraph. This should be explained initially.- Should be fixed.
Please explain what this mental link is. Something inherent to his species? "after using his mental link with Phoedris to learn many secret Rebel codes"- Any better?
POV: "A vicious, greedy being"- Reworded.
Please reword to say he used a transport as his transportation. Redundant: "He used a YT-1300 Corellian transport as his main method of transportation"- I've removed all mention of it except for the Equipment section, since all we know is that he owned it.
Cause who lasting harm? He, or his brother? This reads ambiguously: "which would ensure that the pain he would share with Phoedris during their inevitable confrontation would not cause him any lasting harm"- Clarified.
I believe you're trying to say here that he smelled the scents of others to detect him, but this really is reading that he somehow utilized a scent by his own doing to detect them, which I don't think is the case: "and he used scents to recognize other species."- Should be cleared up.
- Good BTS. Cleaned up some of my own confusion. Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:57, 26 April 2008 (UTC)
- Thanks. And thanks for the copyedit/review. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 20:15, 26 April 2008 (UTC)
- From the cockpit of Xwing328
"...he was often taken by surprise when someone managed to disarm him, such as when Han Solo threw his gun-belt at the Nalrithian." Cypher said Han was the first to disarm him, so how could he often be taken by surprise?- Fixed.
"reduced the amount of pain he felt when in combat" They worked any time he felt pain, right? Not just in combat?- Good point. Fixed.
- I don't think it's required yet, but if the images could be categorized, that would be great. Thanks, and good work so far! —Xwing328(Talk) 23:13, 5 May 2008 (UTC)
- I'll try get around to that soon, when I'm not in a rush. :-) -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 07:13, 9 May 2008 (UTC)
- From Graestan the Mighty:
"The third, Phoedris Bos, was considerably stronger than the two Cypher had killed, so he was more reluctant to engage him in combat." – Please reword with more clarity.- Better?
"He worked … he worked" in one sentence is a bit heavy. Please change.- Changed.
Quotation marks around "Cypher" in the middle bio section seem unnecessary. Please discuss.- Well, they were put in to avoid confusion for the reader, but you're right in that they're not really necessary. I'm easy, so I've removed them.
"the fear he could sense when in the presence of others" – Please reword and specify.- Any better?
First paragraph of the P&T reads disjointed when the last sentence is added. Can a transition be made?- I removed the last sentence, since it's already discussed in the Equipment section.
- Graestan(Talk) 02:21, 7 May 2008 (UTC)
- Thanks for the review. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 07:13, 9 May 2008 (UTC)
Comments
Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 22:18, 11 May 2008 (UTC)
- I've been unable to find out who voiced him, though someone who has a physical copy of the thing might know. Also, I haven't referred to him as just "Bos" because he's only ever called "Cypher Bos" or "Cypher." -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 18:41, 20 April 2008 (UTC)