Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Cliffhold/Legends

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Cliffhold

(5 Inqs/1 Users/6 Total)

Support

  1. Inqvote IFYLOFD (Floyd's crib) 00:08, March 8, 2010 (UTC)
  2. Inqvote CC7567 (talk) 03:14, March 31, 2010 (UTC)
  3. -- 1358 (Talk) 13:03, April 6, 2010 (UTC)
  4. Inqvote Chack Jadson (Talk) 23:52, April 12, 2010 (UTC)
  5. Inqvote Jonjedigrandmaster Jedi symbol (We seed the stars) 15:36, April 20, 2010 (UTC)
  6. Inqvote Good job. Toprawa and Ralltiir 22:08, April 20, 2010 (UTC)

Object

  1. Floyd Floyds all over your article:
    • "Spice convoys eventually stopped running, but a number of residents remained in the city, managing their now-forgotten home." Why did they stop running? Clarify.
      • It's never explained.
    • Quote for the Description section?
      • None that I could think of as applicable. I could do one from TEA, but I'm not sure who to attribute that to. Do you know?
        • In TEA, does it not tell who said it? Or is it part of the text?
        • Part of the text. Quotable, since its technically an in-universe publication, but I just don't know who to attribute the quote to.
    • "the two freed Cliffhold from Drol" They didn't actually free the place from Drol, they freed it from the LaserWeb. Change this and the sentence afterwards.
      • See if that helps. It's kind of a tricky term, as Drol was the defense grid, so they go hand in hand.
        • Good.
    • "The smuggling convoys that exported the spice from Cliffhold eventually ceased, leaving the city to join the rest of Iego in isolation." Again, why did they stop? Clarify.
      • See above.
    • Why did the Confederacy leave?
      • Never specified.
    • "The city's superstitious residents claimed that the ships were being destroyed by the Ghost of Drol,[2] a malevolent spirit that was in fact nothing more than a LaserWeb Defense Station left behind by the Confederacy in order to prevent anyone from leaving Iego." Reword this. This sounds like the natives believed that Drol was nothing more than a LaserWeb Defense Station.
      • Done.
    • At various points in the body, you switch from putting quote marks around Drol and not. Be consistent. I would suggest that you put quotes around all mentions of Drol, since Drol doesn't actually exist.
      • There's actually only one point in the body that I use the quotes, and that's done very intentionally to go with the context of the rest of the sentence. I think quotes are only needed when I'm refering to one of "Drol"'s actions that are actually being committed by the grid. If I'm just refering to the people's belief in him, they aren't needed. It's been addressed aas such.
    • Nice job. IFYLOFD (Floyd's crib) 00:24, March 2, 2010 (UTC)
  2. Just one: you mention the Blue Shadow Virus in the intro but not the body. Can you be consistent and place it in both? A pleasant read otherwise. CC7567 (talk) 22:55, March 30, 2010 (UTC)
  3. Just one: "…managing their now-forgotten home." Who forgot it? In the current context, it sounds like the residents forgot it, which doesn't make sense. Otherwise, great work. Jonjedigrandmaster Jedi symbol (We seed the stars) 22:13, April 13, 2010 (UTC)
  4. Toprawa:

Comments

Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 22:08, April 20, 2010 (UTC)