- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.
Bevel Lemelisk
- Nominated by: Thefourdotelipsis 14:04, 31 May 2008 (UTC)
- Nomination comments: Paunchy Spiky-Haired Super Designer Maniac Racial Stereotypes Are Go!
(5 Inqs/0 Users/5 Total)
Support
I love having 4dot on WP:NEGTC. :-) Atarumaster88 
(Talk page) 23:59, 2 June 2008 (UTC)- Greyman(Talk) 01:16, 20 June 2008 (UTC)
- Cavalier One(Squadron channel) 21:21, 21 June 2008 (UTC)- -- Darth Culator (Talk) 23:23, 27 June 2008 (UTC)
- Toprawa and Ralltiir 15:00, 28 June 2008 (UTC)
Oppose
- From the desk of Atarumaster88
Does Galaxy Guide actually call him an architect? He seems to be more of a designer or engineer, so the label seems a bit inaccurate imho. Maybe I'm being too literal.- It does indeed.
"During a lapse worker "enthusiasm," Vader payed Tarkin and Lemelisk a visit." Several problems with this sentence. It doesn't seem to make much sense, and I believe the verb is "paid", unless I'm horribly wrong.- Gah. Yes it is. I've rejigged the sentence as well.
Should there be a link to Transfer essence in there?- Didn't even know that existed. It's in there now.
- Other than those minor details, article looks good. Atarumaster88 (Talk page) 22:36, 1 June 2008 (UTC)
- Thanks for the review. Thefourdotelipsis 00:27, 2 June 2008 (UTC)
- Toprawa:
I would think it would be appropriate to specify his first "natural" death, as well as his final clone death in the infobox- This becomes messy, since then there's a sort of onus to list rebirths and redeaths...and it becomes especially bad in Lemelisk's case, as I'm sure you understand. A whole lotta 3 ABYs there. ;)
- That's fine. Toprawa and Ralltiir 02:15, 27 June 2008 (UTC)
- This becomes messy, since then there's a sort of onus to list rebirths and redeaths...and it becomes especially bad in Lemelisk's case, as I'm sure you understand. A whole lotta 3 ABYs there. ;)
Ending both clauses in the same word isn't reading well: "Palpatine died his first death there, effectively allowing Lemelisk to avoid yet another death"- Ugh, that is bad. Changed the second one to "execution"
Can we link some article to dark alchemy? "by Palpatine's dark alchemy"- Yarp, done. Got Sith Alchemy.
I'd rather see this reworded. After reading this entry in GG5 myself, this is almost verbatim: "Palpatine believed him, but so did Mon Mothma, leader of the Alliance, who launched an attack on the station while it was being built over Endor."- Rejiggered.
Much of the paragraph beginning "Madine immediately recognized Sulamar" isn't so relevant to Lemelisk itself, and could definitely be condensed to the barest minimum of details relating only to Lemelisk- I've made it a little more relevant to him, and I think it's important to establish just how people get to where they are for the key part of the scene. It all becomes a bit confusing, I find, if I cull massive portions of that.
- Yeah, I see what you mean. I would still try and condense a little bit, but you're fine. Toprawa and Ralltiir 02:15, 27 June 2008 (UTC)
- I've made it a little more relevant to him, and I think it's important to establish just how people get to where they are for the key part of the scene. It all becomes a bit confusing, I find, if I cull massive portions of that.
I'm not sure what this is saying exactly. Can we clarify this at all? "He was not a perfectionist, however, and could not afford to be due to his connections to high-ranking Imperial officials."- I've tried to explain that a bit.
- It seems not so much that he "couldn't afford to be" as he "didn't need to be." Would that rewording work? Toprawa and Ralltiir 02:15, 27 June 2008 (UTC)
- Yes, I've used that. The original had the wording all ass-about, but I've used "did not need to be" instead. Much clearer. Thefourdotelipsis 11:29, 28 June 2008 (UTC)
- It seems not so much that he "couldn't afford to be" as he "didn't need to be." Would that rewording work? Toprawa and Ralltiir 02:15, 27 June 2008 (UTC)
- I've tried to explain that a bit.
This explanation of him forgetting initially bothered me a little bit when I read it first, and now after reading the BTS, I have some concern about this. If this explanation, "At some stage, Lemelisk forgot that the station had failed, and began preparing himself for a commendation from Palpatine. As he stood before the Emperor, a cage dropped around him, while Palpatine reminded him that the Death Star had in fact failed," is based upon this BTS speculative assumption, "However, Darksaber also shows Lemelisk as a forgetful man, possibly explaining the discrepancy," it should probably be reworded a little bit. Just say what you know for sure and leave the possibilities as a ref note.- Yah, tweaked. I did that just to ease the flow, and thought that it didn't quite fall into OR, but...yeah, better to be safe than fanony.
I don't feel the ref note accompanying the Rebellion image is really needed. The images in that game are meant to have been taken circa 0 BBY or even earlier, before any of his clones would even have been created. That could probably serve as a good explanation by itself.- Yah, got rid of that.
Also, I kind of suspect he may have some kind of mention in the Movie Trilogy Sourcebook and/or Trilogy Sourcebook - Special Edition. Please check and add if so.Toprawa and Ralltiir 15:36, 25 June 2008 (UTC)- Well, since the Movie Trilogy Sourcebook is just a collection of the GGs, I'd say so. MTS is listed now. Thefourdotelipsis 10:29, 26 June 2008 (UTC)
- I wasn't sure, since it appears that some things in GG1, 3, and 5 didn't all make it into the compilation. Toprawa and Ralltiir 02:15, 27 June 2008 (UTC)
- Well, since the Movie Trilogy Sourcebook is just a collection of the GGs, I'd say so. MTS is listed now. Thefourdotelipsis 10:29, 26 June 2008 (UTC)
Comments
- 10! Thefourdotelipsis 14:04, 31 May 2008 (UTC)