Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/BL-1707

The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

BL-1707

• Nominated by: QuiGonJinn ^(Talk) 09:38, May 8, 2011 (UTC)
• Nomination comments: Fully written over the course of two days. Call it inspiration.

(4 Inqs/2 Users/6 Total)

Support

1. Couldn't find a single flaw in an article that long. That's plain scary... Kreivi Wolter 15:53, May 8, 2011 (UTC)
2. Kilson^{(Let's have a chat)} 12:03, June 18, 2011 (UTC)
3. The best part of this is the surprise ending. Stupendously delivered, QGJ.—Tommy 9281 Tuesday, July 19, 2011, 20:37 UTC
4. --Eyrezer 11:34, July 31, 2011 (UTC)
5. Cavalier One^{(Squadron channel)} 13:19, August 12, 2011 (UTC)
6. CC7567 ^(talk) 20:30, August 13, 2011 (UTC)

Object

Kilson

• This is more of a question than an objection, but could you add something about the Muur Talisman to the Affiliation field of the Infobox? I'm not sure how you would say that exactly, but I feel it should be added somehow.
  • Done.
• In the Intro, "More than twenty years later, the planet was contested between the Alliance to Restore the Republic and the Galactic Empire." You should probably insert "during the Galactic Civil War" here.
  • Done.
• In the Intro, "...emerged from hyperspace near the Imperial Bannistar Station, a major refueling installation, Able participated in a mission to destroy it." Perhaps you should insert "successful" in front of mission to show that Able and his team were successful.
  • Done.
• "Around 21 BBY, Able-1707's LAAT/i gunship was attacked by Confederate droid fighters over an uncharted and unnamed jungle planet. Before the clone troopers could even react, the gunship was shot down and crashed on the planet." In the first sentence here, you say that Able was aboard the gunship, but in the next you mention clone troopers. You should point out in the first sentence that Able wasn't the only one aboard the gunship.
  • Addressed.
• In the Reporting for duty subection, do we know Skywalker's true rank at that time. If so, you should state it.
  • Addressed, although I had to do some research.
• You insert "then" in a number of sentences that truly don't need them, most notably three time in the fourth paragraph of the Serving the Alliance subsection. Please go through and remove a few of these.
  • Dethenified
• In the Bannistar Station subsection, "...a Rebel strike team led by Basso and Able used an YM-2800 limpet ship to dock with one of the transports." I believe they docked with the lead transport, which should be pointed out.
  • Clarified.
• Also in this subection, "The remaining three transports were captured as well, obtaining the vital supplies for the Alliance.[9] Jorin Sol's Imperial conditioning eventually led to a devastating attack on the Rebel fleet, in which many ships were lost..." There is an odd transition between the sentences. Perhaps you should insert "Soon after the supply raid," or something like that at the start of the next sentence.
  • Addressed.
• "...Able single-handedly killed all the Imperials except for the unarmed D'Vox." You previously stated that D'Vox had Luke's lightsaber. You should mention that Skywalker was able to regain his lightsaber during the brief fight.
  • Addressed.
• "Shan and Able then set out to check the surroundings, and Able, noticing rocks falling from a ridge, decided to check it." You insert here that Able told Shan to go back to the ship, as that is a important fact.
  • Actually, he didn't tell her to go back. He just went to check the ridge, while Shan remained behind.
    • Sorry, my mistake. Kilson^{(Let's have a chat)} 12:03, June 18, 2011 (UTC)
• "Meanwhile, swarmed by the rakghouls, all the Rebels retreated aboard the Millenium Falcon with the exception of Able, Skywalker and Organa." Perhaps you should insert "surviving" in front of Rebels, as a number were killed or turned during the firefight.
  • Added.
• Otherwise, nice job Jinn. Kilson^{(Let's have a chat)} 03:50, June 10, 2011 (UTC)
  • Thanks for the review. QuiGonJinn ^(Talk) 11:48, June 18, 2011 (UTC)

Humphrey

• "More than twenty years later, the planet was contested between the Alliance to Restore the Republic and the Galactic Empire during the Galactic Civil War. During the battle, Able-1707 revealed himself to the Imperial stormtroopers, believing that they were clone troopers wearing a new form of armor, but was fired upon." The "durings" are on top of each other. I tried, but couldn't work it out.
  • Addressed.
• Also in that section, you introduce him as "Able.", later you say, "He then joined the Alliance after one of its members, Luke Skywalker, introduced himself as a Jedi General. After helping the Rebels escape from the planet, the clone trooper joined the Alliance Intelligence, adopting the name Able." This makes it seem as though he adopted the name after he already had it.
  • I initially introduce him as "Able-1707." After joining the Alliance, he adopted the name "Able," without the number. I don't see what's the problem here.
    • That you don't specify the fact of him dropping the numbers is the problem.—Tommy 9281 Monday, July 18, 2011, 00:08 UTC
      • Addressed.
• "Although Skywalker was not actually a general, Able still kept calling him that..." Reword so it's not so colloquial.
  • Reworded.
• The entire second para of the "Castaway" section can be shortened by half without an ounce of lost context.
  • Done.
    • Excellent.—Tommy 9281 Monday, July 18, 2011, 00:08 UTC
• There's alot of "tolds" and "telling" in the second para of "Reporting for duty". Smooth it out; tell me the events, not the conversations.
• Again with the third para of same section. Alot of backandforth. In the very first part you repeat the fact that they posed as stormtroopers.
  • I've tried to cut the extraneous detail in both paragraphs as much as possible. I've also read through the rest of the article and corrected one more potential PBP instance. The rest should be good, I hope. QuiGonJinn ^(Talk) 15:06, July 12, 2011 (UTC)
• I'm going to stop here for now, as such issues are a bit tedious.—Tommy 9281 Friday, July 8, 2011, 21:02 UTC
• "Upon hearing this, Able-1707 pledged his loyalty to Skywalker and declared that if the Jedi had taken up arms against the Empire, he would serve the Jedi General." This makes it seem as though the Jedi is the Jedi General, though I assume you mean Skywalker. Please reword.
  • Addressed.
• That's all, rather enjoyable, as usual. Don't get it twisted, QGJ, I'm still your #1 fan ;)—Tommy 9281 Monday, July 18, 2011, 02:26 UTC
  • Glad to hear that :) Thanks for the thorough review, Tommy. QuiGonJinn ^(Talk) 19:16, July 19, 2011 (UTC)

Attack of the Clone

• This is a rather minor objection, but I just wanted to check this with you: would it be better to have the article at Able instead of "BL-1707"? I realize that he was a clone trooper (so he would therefore fall under the relevant rule in the naming policy), but did he officially adopt "Able" as his new name over his designation? Or was "Able" still more of a nickname for him? I know this falls under the NP's clone trooper rule, but this seems to be more of a unique case. CC7567 ^(talk) 20:34, August 13, 2011 (UTC)
  • There is a bit of conflict between sources on this. Although the databank entry says that he "adopted" the name Able, the narration in the final Rebellion issue states, "He is BL-1707. Others call him by another name, Able. Able the old trooper from another age. But he will always really be BL-1707." Personally, I think the second description is more definitive. QuiGonJinn ^(Talk) 10:31, August 14, 2011 (UTC)
    • Ah, okay; that's fine then. Just wanted to check. CC7567 ^(talk) 21:18, August 14, 2011 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 21:18, August 14, 2011 (UTC)