Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Asaak Dan

The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Asaak Dan

• Nominated by: Jedi Kasra (comlink) 05:15, June 6, 2010 (UTC)
• Nomination comments: Wish we saw more of Dan and the other three…

(3 Inqs/5 Users/8 Total)

Support

1. Dan Dare?! Thefourdotelipsis 07:57, June 6, 2010 (UTC)
2. Clone Commander Lee ^Talk 10:20, June 6, 2010 (UTC)
3. Imperialles 09:22, June 7, 2010 (UTC)
4. Good job. Xicer9^(Combadge) 23:45, June 7, 2010 (UTC)
5. SoresuMakashi^{(Everything I tell you is a lie)} 02:05, June 10, 2010 (UTC)
6. Good stuff. Jonjedigrandmaster ^(Talk) 23:20, June 14, 2010 (UTC)
7. Menkooroo 05:24, June 15, 2010 (UTC)
8. Jedi > IKs. Chack Jadson ^(Talk) 00:21, June 19, 2010 (UTC)

Object

De La Dot

• "When Sinde and Dare got into an argument over his returning to Bastion and attacked each other, Dan crossed his lightsaber with theirs in an attempt to get the Imperial Knights to stop attacking each other. After successfully convincing Sinde and Dare to stop fighting, he volunteered to take Sinde's place among the Mon Calamari Rangers." - This... doesn't seem like Personality and traits material. It's just a part of the bio condensed and regurgitated it, basically, and needs to be rejigged to be more of a comment on his personality, basically.
  • Is this good?--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 05:41, June 6, 2010 (UTC)
• Otherwise, very good work. Well done. Thefourdotelipsis 05:36, June 6, 2010 (UTC)
  • Thanks for the review, Four Dot!--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 05:41, June 6, 2010 (UTC)

L'Imperialles

• Intro: "and Emperor of the galaxy" This is inaccurate, he didn't actually control the entire galaxy. Something along the lines of "and leader of the Galactic Empire" would be better, I think.
  • Fixed.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 01:24, June 7, 2010 (UTC)
• P&A: "Dan utilized abilities with telekinetic Force powers, being able to use the Force to push both Sinde and Dare." This sentence doesn't read well to me. Maybe something along the lines of "Dan was able to utilize telekinetic Force powers, employing these skills to push Sinde and Dare" would work better.
  • Fixed.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 01:24, June 7, 2010 (UTC)
• BTS: "He was first identified in Divided Loyalties." This seems sort of misplaced at the end of the section. Consider merging it with the earlier mention of Divided Loyalties.
  • Done.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 01:24, June 7, 2010 (UTC)
• Good stuff overall. --Imperialles 07:53, June 6, 2010 (UTC)
  • Thanks for the review!--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 01:24, June 7, 2010 (UTC)

Jujiggum

• In the second paragraph of the "Mission to Dac" section, you elaborate a little too much on some things that really belong just in the P&T; please try to cut them down somewhat.
  • Took out some stuff, please try it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 23:17, June 14, 2010 (UTC)
• "When Dare used a mind trick on an Imperial officer, Dan made a comment regarding the Imperial mindset inviting mind control." I'm assuming this is the "mocking" that you refer to in the paragraph from the above objection; if so, please specify here that this wasn't just a simple comment, but that he was mocking her for it.
  • Please try it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 23:17, June 14, 2010 (UTC)
• That's all. Nice work. Jonjedigrandmaster ^(Talk) 23:12, June 14, 2010 (UTC)
  • Thanks for the review!--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 23:17, June 14, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 00:21, June 19, 2010 (UTC)