Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Anto Kreegyr

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Anto Kreegyr

  • Nominated by: Braha'tok enthusiast Hello there 19:55, 26 June 2024 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Back to the Andor grind.
  • Date Archived: 03:43, 8 September 2024 (UTC)
  • Final word count: 1549 words (246 introduction, 1189 body, 114 behind the scenes)
  • Word count at nomination time: 1411 words (238 introduction, 1048 body, 125 behind the scenes)
  • WookieeProject (optional): WP:CIS

(4 Inqs/2 Users/6 Total)

(Votes required: No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)

Support

  1. Wok142 (talk) 23:57, 30 June 2024 (UTC)
  2. Inqvote JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 05:57, 11 August 2024 (UTC)
  3. Inqvote Lewisr (talk) 03:48, 19 August 2024 (UTC)
  4. Inqvote —spookywillowwtalk 18:59, 21 August 2024 (UTC)
  5. Inqvote Master FredceriqueCommerce Guild(talk) (he/him) 03:04, 8 September 2024 (UTC)
  6. CometSmudge (talk) 03:41, 8 September 2024 (UTC)

Object

Wok
  • Does Spellhaus technically need more context in the intro?
    • Should be fine, "on" technically tells you enough about it already (that it's a terrestrial astronomical object) if that's all you're working with, so I tend to leave it like that if it's the situation of an intro mention.
      • Ok that makes sense, should be fine then. Wok142 (talk) 23:57, 30 June 2024 (UTC)
  • If "slow and stupid ox" is the exact language, it should probably be in quotation marks.
    • I is not, see the top quote.
  • First sentence of the second paragraph of The ISB Plot, I think it should be rearranged to read as: ISB Supervisor Dedra Meero was particularly keen to use this information to her advantage, hoping to track down Rael, whom she only knew as a unknown individual that she called "Axis." In my opinion, "was particularly keen" is smoother than "particularly was keen" and adding in the "hoping" (you could also use "wanting" or another synonymous term) in the second segment would make the "to" in "to her advantage" so close to the "to" in "to track down," which in my opinion is a bit cluttered.
  • In the next sentence, I would advocate for "several other supervisors and attendants" as opposed to "some other supervisors and attendants." I feel it currently is a tad informal.
    • Both make sense, changed.
  • I think you'll want to combine the first two paragraphs of The ISB Plot into one, as the first one is only two sentences.
    • Five lines is enough to be a paragraph tbh, no matter how split into sentences it is. I'd rather have that than a overly chunky paragraph that would result from the two being combined.
      • All good. I thought there were guidelines against two sentence paragraphs until earlier today so that's why I mentioned it. It can be left as is. Wok142 (talk) 23:57, 30 June 2024 (UTC)
  • Last sentence of this section, I think "Partagaz agreeing with this" would read smoother as "with Partagaz agreeing."
  • In Protecting a double agent, I think you should add "revealed" into the third sentence so it reads: "There, Jung told the spy about Meero's investigations on "Axis" and revealed that the ISB knew about the planned attack on Spellhaus"
  • I think it should be explicitly described that Luthen told Saw that he was letting Kreegyr go on their mission to die in both the intro and in Playing the long game.
  • I also think it should more explicit description is necessary for the fact that Kreegyr did not know that the Empire learned of their plan to attack Spellhaus. For example, in the intro, the last sentence of the first paragraph could be changed to say "Meanwhile, one of Kreegyr's pilots was captured by the Empire at a customs check and, unbeknownst to Kreegyr, gave up information on the Spellhaus attack in an interrogation. And at the end of The ISB Plot, you could note something like "The ISB's ploy meant that Kreegyr's cell were unaware that their plans had been discovered." Wok142 (talk) 21:58, 26 June 2024 (UTC)
spookly
  • Just really more of a cursory noticed/starting objection but in technicality there's clothing in the hologram to be equipment'd.—spookywillowwtalk 03:32, 8 July 2024 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 03:43, 8 September 2024 (UTC)