- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.
Adar Tallon
(5 Inq/2 Users/7 Total)
Support
Thefourdotelipsis 00:53, 4 April 2008 (UTC)- Goodwood
(Alliance Intelligence) 22:36, 6 April 2008 (UTC) - -- Darth Culator (Talk) 22:37, 6 April 2008 (UTC)
- Excellent article. An enjoyable read. Chack Jadson (Talk) 22:06, 10 April 2008 (UTC)
Lord Hydronium 08:46, 11 April 2008 (UTC)- Atarumaster88 (Talk page) 15:05, 11 April 2008 (UTC)
- Yuhp. Cull Tremayne 06:59, 12 April 2008 (UTC)
Object
- From the Forest of Goodwood:
File:CmdteTallon2.jpg could surely use a rescan.- I will get our resident image doctors on it posthaste.
Is there any information on Tallon's homeworld, early life, etc?- "If it aint there, it either aint canon, or the source wasn't listed when I got to it."
- It would have been nice to get a bit more early background on him, but like you said, if it ain't there... *sigh* Goodwood (Alliance Intelligence) 20:38, 4 April 2008 (UTC)
- It would have been nice to get a bit more early background on him, but like you said, if it ain't there... *sigh* Goodwood
- "If it aint there, it either aint canon, or the source wasn't listed when I got to it."
"He became a celebrity to the point that "fans" would have posters of him on their walls." A celebrity among whom? Were there any specific exploits that prompted this following?- I've elaborated slightly, but basically he's a celebrity because of everything that proceeds that comment in the bio.
"Tallon did not warm to the new government" sounds a bit stilted...could you reword this clause please?- Rejiggered.
As does this: "Palpatine himself payed attention to Tallon: being a war hero, he could influence the population."—actually, that whole first paragraph of the "Feigning Death" section could be reworded for style.- I've tweaked that slightly, if you're still not happy I'll tweak, tweak again. ;)
In the P&T section, again, how did he become a celebrity?- Again, basically because of the events in the bio before he feigns his death. This is probably a point that can just be presented as in, and we'll let readers "connect-the-dots" so to speak, since "Fought in Clone Wars and made good" and then "Was a celebrity" kinda makes sense as is. Thefourdotelipsis 06:55, 4 April 2008 (UTC)
- --Goodwood (Alliance Intelligence) 01:28, 4 April 2008 (UTC)
File:CmdteTallon2.jpg: Quite .jpg artifact-y.--Imperialles 18:42, 4 April 2008 (UTC)- Goodwood's too fast for me. --Imperialles 18:58, 4 April 2008 (UTC)
- From the desk of Atarumaster88
"Quist exchanged Kay's life for his own and also fled." Clarify this please-to me, it read that Kay was killed, but maybe I'm just ridiculously dense, because she's alive later.- Yeah, that wording was a bit odd. I think I've made it clearer.
More context on the Corellian spacer incident. It's an RPG, but surely a bit more detail would be nice if available.- This requires vagueness, as the quest can be completed a variety of ways. Rather than assuming that one is canon and the other is not, I've left it vague until we get confirmation. Or something.
Beef up P&T please.- [Redacted by administration] Thefourdotelipsis 22:54, 10 April 2008 (UTC)
- Here's what I'm looking for in the P&T: A mention of his "better half" and their relationship. His willingness to work hands-on and lead from the front-i.e. his upgrading of fighter craft personally and undertake missions himself. Atarumaster88 (Talk page) 04:08, 11 April 2008 (UTC)
- There's seriously nothing about their relationship. Or his wife, really. It's just "he's married." I've added a bit of a note about him going off after his pilots which I had forgotten about, and a little bit about him working on starfighters, but trust me when I say that there's nothing to be said about his marriage. Thefourdotelipsis 07:11, 11 April 2008 (UTC)
- Well, not that it's your fault at all on the wife thing, but that's lame. Someone *cough Abel Pena cough* needs to give him more backstory. Atarumaster88 (Talk page) 15:05, 11 April 2008 (UTC)
- Well, not that it's your fault at all on the wife thing, but that's lame. Someone *cough Abel Pena cough* needs to give him more backstory. Atarumaster88
- There's seriously nothing about their relationship. Or his wife, really. It's just "he's married." I've added a bit of a note about him going off after his pilots which I had forgotten about, and a little bit about him working on starfighters, but trust me when I say that there's nothing to be said about his marriage. Thefourdotelipsis 07:11, 11 April 2008 (UTC)
- Here's what I'm looking for in the P&T: A mention of his "better half" and their relationship. His willingness to work hands-on and lead from the front-i.e. his upgrading of fighter craft personally and undertake missions himself. Atarumaster88
- [Redacted by administration] Thefourdotelipsis 22:54, 10 April 2008 (UTC)
- Have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating day. Atarumaster88 (Talk page) 19:49, 10 April 2008 (UTC)
Comments
Approved by Inquisitorius 07:10, 12 April 2008 (UTC)
- If it aint there, it either aint canon, or the source wasn't listed when I got to it. Thefourdotelipsis 00:53, 4 April 2008 (UTC)
- Isn't there a pic of him from Galaxies? --Eyrezer 04:34, 4 April 2008 (UTC)
- Yes, it should be here in the next couple of days. Also, it's horrendous. Thefourdotelipsis 07:00, 4 April 2008 (UTC)
- Overall this article, while comprehensive and laid out according to rules and such, could use a general uplifting of the quality of its prose. I know you can do better, Dot, so this won't be an actual objection...but it'd be nice if you would take the time to improve the overall flow and style.--Goodwood (Alliance Intelligence) 20:38, 4 April 2008 (UTC)