Wookieepedia:Comprehensive article nominations/Unidentified air taxi driver droid

The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a comprehensive article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Unidentified air taxi driver droid

Nominated by: Cal Jedi ^{(Personal Comm Channel)} 01:38, July 7, 2011 (UTC)
Nomination comments:I'm getting a Deceived burner going! :D

(2 ECs/1 Users/3 Total)

Support

Good.--Exiled Jedi (Greetings) 16:32, July 13, 2011 (UTC)
Darth Trayus^{(Trayus Academy)} 17:49, July 21, 2011 (UTC)
~Savage 14:02, July 24, 2011 (UTC)

Object

Exiled Jedi
- I think that you need some information on what timeframe this droid existed in, inside of the body of the article. I think that I have seen a date for the novel sourced to a blog written by the author of this novel somewhere on wookieepedia. I believe that this information should be found and included. If anyone knows what the date is and knows where it can be sourced to please say so here.--Exiled Jedi (Greetings) 15:43, July 12, 2011 (UTC)
  - OK take a look now.Cal Jedi ^{(Personal Comm Channel)} 17:55, July 12, 2011 (UTC)
Trayus
- ~~Can you specify what those peace negotiations were in regards to, or what factions were participating?~~
  - Fixed.
- When you say the taxi driver carried Leneer to the spaceport, it sounds as if it literally picked her up and walked there. It's nitpicky, but it would be best if you could reword it for more clarity and precision. Darth Trayus^{(Trayus Academy)} 17:14, July 20, 2011 (UTC)
  - Is that better? Cal Jedi ^{(Personal Comm Channel)} 19:19, July 20, 2011 (UTC)
Bob
- Just a couple of things. First, I don't know that all the detail about why the Jedi chick rode in the taxi is necessary. Perhaps a bit, to perhaps contextualize her shortness with the droid, but pare it down a tad.
  - Ummm, what part do you think I should remove? The part about her Master? or the planet she was leaving from? Cal Jedi ^{(Personal Comm Channel)} 15:59, July 21, 2011 (UTC)
    - Well, we've already established that we're on Alderaan at this point, so you could get away with just saying it drove her to the starport and leave it at that. But if you want to keep a bit more background on the reason for her ride, I won't fault you. Just keep it to the bare minimum. ~Savage 20:44, July 21, 2011 (UTC)
      - Check that. Cal Jedi ^{(Personal Comm Channel)} 01:03, July 22, 2011 (UTC)
- Second, the card reader in his hand is something that has pertinence to the droid on a "P&T" type level, not a plot level. So, rather than mentioning that important fact about the droid's equipment as a plot element in the second paragraph, introduce it earlier as part of the droid's equipment package in the first paragraph. You can still note later that it extended its hand for her to pay, but I'd like to see the card reader called out as more significant than that one event earlier in the article. Oh, and I gave you a redlink. Sorry. :) ~Savage 13:40, July 21, 2011 (UTC)
  - OK fixed. Cal Jedi ^{(Personal Comm Channel)} 15:59, July 21, 2011 (UTC)

Comments