Wookieepedia:Comprehensive article nominations/Tu Shoolb

The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Comprehensive article nomination that was withdrawn. Please do not modify it.

Tu Shoolb

(Votes required: 2 EC vote(s) required to reach minimum. Additional 3 user or 1 EC vote required to pass.)

~~The first sentence needs to contextualize who was invading the galaxy.~~
~~Please cut down the third sentence. It is far too long.~~
~~I think that final setnece should be in a paragraph of its own, since it is essentially a mini-P/T section while the rest of the article is more like a biography section.~~ Fan26 (Talk) 16:26, 23 April 2022 (UTC)
- Addressed. — Samonic 17:13, 23 April 2022 (UTC)
You should clarify why it's an issue that the obsevers would be alerted, who the observers are, and why they're observing the Vong ship. Fan26 (Talk) 17:16, 2 May 2022 (UTC)

"Then, Gara asked Shoolb if he thought that Yomin Carr, a Yuuzhan Vong agent that was tasked with eliminating possible observers, had not taken care of the observers, receiving an apology from Shoolb." seems a bit repetitive when referring to observers, worth looking into rewording it.
~~It's not clear contextually what Domain Shoolb is.~~
~~Is there a specific reason observers is pipelinked to Danni Quee? From what I vaguely recollect about that novel there was a team of people there with her.~~—spookywilloww^talk 00:31, 24 April 2022 (UTC)
- Done.— Samonic 07:28, 24 April 2022 (UTC)
~~It seems like Shoolb was given an order relating to dovin basals following the apology that is not reflected in the article.~~—spookywilloww^talk 17:46, 24 April 2022 (UTC)
- Done, almost pushed it over 164 words.— Samonic 07:47, 25 April 2022 (UTC)

Please rearrange your paragraphs so that you don't have one huge one and one tiny one.
What order did the prefect give? Was it to increase the speed in the first place, thus eliciting Shoolb's response? Something else? Either way, it's not quite clear right now. JediMasterMacaroni^(Talk) 02:14, 26 April 2022 (UTC)
- Fixed.— Samonic 07:10, 26 April 2022 (UTC)

Can you specify that Belek Tiu is an apology (assuming that's what it is), you could say "apologised using the phrase "belek tiu"" or something to that effect. Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 11:58, 2 May 2022 (UTC)
I don't think we should have the worldship in the affiliation field for the infobox. Would we have Home One in Ackbar's for example? Domain Shoolb should be a subpoint for the YV empire as well. Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 11:58, 2 May 2022 (UTC)
Yuuzhan Vong Intendants is a subcategory of Yuuzhan Vong, so the parent category (Yuuzhan Vong) can be removed. Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 11:58, 2 May 2022 (UTC)