- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Comprehensive article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.
Contents
Tower Dimension
- Nominated by: — Samonic
20:12, 9 April 2022 (UTC)
- Nomination comments: (WP:NATIONS :P) First in a series of Thrawn Ascendancy: Chaos Rising nominations!
- WookieeProject (optional): Wookieepedia:WookieeProject Novels
(2 ECs/3 Users/5 Total)
(Votes required: No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)
Support
- ThrawnChiss7 (talk) 21:14, 11 April 2022 (UTC)
Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 00:02, 16 April 2022 (UTC)- Braha'tok enthusiast Hello there 01:48, 12 May 2022 (UTC)
OOM 224 12:25, 12 May 2022 (UTC)- —spookywillowwtalk 12:51, 12 May 2022 (UTC)
Object
Spooky
I feel like the second sentence is a run-on: mentions Dimension three times and is kinda hard to follow overall.—spookywillowwtalk 21:12, 11 April 2022 (UTC)From a reader's perspective I'm not able to discern why the last two sentences of the article are relevant to the Tower Dimension specifically. Was the Tower Dimension one of the nations freed by the battle? It would be good to specify that if so, because in dealing with several warring nations, 'all other nations' is unclear.—spookywillowwtalk 17:42, 12 April 2022 (UTC)- Fixed.— Samonic
18:15, 12 April 2022 (UTC)
- Fixed.— Samonic
Seems like there's some scattered double-linking/missing links issues.Perhaps consider introducing a paragraph split wherever it seems logical? To reduce the blockiness of itIt seems inconsistent to not give contet to Boadil'par'gasoi then add it for Ar'alani in the quote caption—I would make a call to either title both as Ambassador and Admiral respectively; or give neither context.—spookywillowwtalk 02:33, 17 April 2022 (UTC)- All done.— Samonic
13:25, 18 April 2022 (UTC)
- All done.— Samonic
Vergence
Chiss—Urchiv-ki treaty should be mentioned within the article.VergenceScatter (talk) 16:36, 13 April 2022 (UTC)- Done, thank you for your assistance :) — Samonic
19:42, 13 April 2022 (UTC)
- Done, thank you for your assistance :) — Samonic
Manoof
Context for Urch—is it the planet or the city they were prevented from visiting? Manoof (he/him/his) (talk)The third sentence is about half the entire article, can you split it up and rephrase it? Feels like we're saying too much at once. I'd suggest saying first that they tried to visit urch, then a second sentence that this due to the maniupulation and in violation of the treaty. Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 11:04, 15 April 2022 (UTC)The treaty should have it's own article Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 11:04, 15 April 2022 (UTC)After the liberation, were they and the other nations aligned with the Chiss? Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 11:04, 15 April 2022 (UTC)A bit of personal preference but can we use Ilparg's core name in the quote attribute? Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 11:04, 15 April 2022 (UTC)- The treaty already has its own article. The context is done, third setence fixed. I prefer to keep the full name there as its the first thing readers see, and therefore should have the full name. About the liberation, the book doesn't specify it, but I would say no. (The only one who aligned themselves with the Chiss was the Vak Combine) — Samonic
14:35, 15 April 2022 (UTC)
- The treaty already has its own article. The context is done, third setence fixed. I prefer to keep the full name there as its the first thing readers see, and therefore should have the full name. About the liberation, the book doesn't specify it, but I would say no. (The only one who aligned themselves with the Chiss was the Vak Combine) — Samonic
Fan
Is mentioning the core names neccessary?Fan26 (Talk) 15:41, 20 April 2022 (UTC)- Yes. As to why: Core names are the most used versions of the full names (example: Mitth'raw'nuru(odo) -> Thrawn) both when people look them up, as well as IU, as Chiss refer to full names when they are not close/in very formal occasions while core names are used all the time.— Samonic
16:27, 20 April 2022 (UTC)
- Yes. As to why: Core names are the most used versions of the full names (example: Mitth'raw'nuru(odo) -> Thrawn) both when people look them up, as well as IU, as Chiss refer to full names when they are not close/in very formal occasions while core names are used all the time.— Samonic
Is it neccessary to mention that the Chiss have blue skin?Fan26 (Talk) 15:33, 5 May 2022 (UTC)- It serves as context. It can be removed if you want.— Samonic
20:59, 5 May 2022 (UTC)
- It serves as context. It can be removed if you want.— Samonic
ThrawnChiss
Urch Planetary and Space Control should be mentioned somewhere. -ThrawnChiss7 (talk) 16:09, 23 April 2022 (UTC)- 👍 Done. — Samonic
17:19, 23 April 2022 (UTC)
Great job. However, Traffic Control is a legends article, so you should unlink it. -ThrawnChiss7 (talk)
- 👍 Done. — Samonic
Braha'nation
"It also maintained Urch Planetary and Space Control, which controlled space traffic." The space traffic where?Braha'tok enthusiast Hello there 11:03, 11 May 2022 (UTC)
OOM
Urch, as a capital planet, shouldn't be listed in both the planet and capital fields of the infobox. In this case, capital is enough.The capital should be established in the first paragraph, separate from the narrative of events."attempted to speak with a Tower Dimension representative" — where did this happen? Please specify.OOM 224 11:30, 12 May 2022 (UTC)- All done.— Samonic
12:21, 12 May 2022 (UTC)
- All done.— Samonic
Comments
- Is having ambassador as embassador purposeful? ThrawnChiss7 (talk) 20:15, 9 April 2022 (UTC)
Not really, but the source uses it.— Samonic20:26, 9 April 2022 (UTC)
Approved as a Comprehensive article by EduCorps 18:28, 12 May 2022 (UTC)