Wookieepedia:Comprehensive article nominations/Sil Vaturha

< Wookieepedia:Comprehensive article nominations
The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a comprehensive article nomination that was unsuccessful. Please do not modify it.

Sil Vaturha

  • Nominated by: praguepride (Talk) 12:33, June 10, 2014 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments:A mistreated slave from an old, old book.

(0 ECs/0 Users/0 Total)

Support

Object

Lee's charge
  • You don't need to source the intro, but the body.
    • Fixed --praguepride (Talk) 14:22, June 10, 2014 (UTC)-praguepride
      • If you have only one source in the bio, you only need one reference.
  • If you have an intro, you need a biography as well.
    • Summarized intro and moved content into biography --praguepride (Talk) 14:22, June 10, 2014 (UTC)
  • Kill the two redirects.
    • Done, killed swoop and slave redirects --praguepride (Talk) 14:22, June 10, 2014 (UTC)
  • Mention the era in the body.
    • Done. New word count: 249 --praguepride (Talk) 14:22, June 10, 2014 (UTC)
      • Good, but as "Rebellion era" is an IU term, you need to mention a real date. Clone Commander Lee Talk 14:25, June 10, 2014 (UTC)
        • Done --praguepride (Talk) 15:13, June 10, 2014 (UTC)
          • Is this date explicitly mentioned in the source? Clone Commander Lee Talk 15:20, June 10, 2014 (UTC)
            • No. The book is set during the Rebellion era but no specific timeline is established --praguepride (Talk) 15:33, June 10, 2014 (UTC)
              • Then you need a note reference note explaining this. What is the exact way the timeline is described in the book? Clone Commander Lee Talk 15:35, June 10, 2014 (UTC)
                • The book makes reference to Rebel agents, not New Republic or rebels (without caps) so that puts it during the Rebellion. I've removed the dates and just referenced the Rebellion for clarification.--praguepride (Talk) 15:45, June 10, 2014 (UTC)
  • More to come. Clone Commander Lee Talk 13:12, June 10, 2014 (UTC)
  • S&a and equipment needs sources.
Exiled Jedi
  • You need to include everything from the introduction in the body of the article.
    • Expanded Kaylo's name and moved garage details to body --praguepride (Talk) 18:09, June 10, 2014 (UTC)
      • You still need to mention that Kaylo was a Herglic crime lord in the body and the fact that the swoop garage was underground. You should also use Vaturha's full name at the start of bio.--Exiled JediOldrepublic crest (Greetings) 18:27, June 10, 2014 (UTC)
        • Done
  • Everything needs to be linked once in the body, once in the infobox, and once in the introduction.
    • I added links to the end of each section. Do I need to link each aspect (i.e. Female, Twi'lek, slave)? --praguepride (Talk) 18:09, June 10, 2014 (UTC)
      • Every linkable article should be linked upon its first mention in the introduction, again for the infobox, and again in the rest of the body.--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 18:27, June 10, 2014 (UTC)
        • Done, at least I don't see anything else that could be linked
  • You need a {{1stm}} tag for the source.
    • Done. Should it be 1st mentioned or 1st appearance? --praguepride (Talk) 18:09, June 10, 2014 (UTC)
      • 1st mentioned is correct for the sources section or for the appearances section where the subject is only mentioned. 1st appearance is only for narrative works (which go in the appearances section) where a subject actually appears.--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 18:27, June 10, 2014 (UTC)
  • Please alphabetize your categories.
  • "Sil was quiet and introspective and loved working with machines." This would be good information for a personality and traits section.
    • Added section and moved this line down. This is the only detail of her personality mentioned in source. --praguepride (Talk) 18:09, June 10, 2014 (UTC)
  • As the additions will likely take the article over 250 words, the article will need to go to the Good article nomination page.--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 16:10, June 10, 2014 (UTC)
    • After making these changes and copying the blocks of intro + body + behind the scenes over it comes to 248. Feel free to double check but my earlier count was higher because of it counted tag references and references as I was word counting in in the editor.--praguepride (Talk) 18:09, June 10, 2014 (UTC)
  • Since the Rebellion era starts in 0 BBY and the Rebellion forms in 2 BBY, you need to pin down the era more closely. The best way to do this is to say something like: "Some time after the Battle of Yavin..."
    • The book gives no indication it was before or after Yavin. The only indication of timelines is that it refers to "Rebel agents" as opposed to "New Republic" or "rebels" which means sometime after the formation of the Alliance but before the New Republic (technically 2 BBY-4 ABY). If the date cannot be specified further should it be removed?
      • The introduction of the book mentions the Death Star, so I'd say there is probably enough to say that the contents of the book are dated to after Yavin.--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 19:41, June 10, 2014 (UTC)
        • Done
  • You should refer to individuals by their last name unless there are two individual with the same last name mentioned in the article.
    • Done
  • You could use to pin down the timeframe in the introduction.--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 18:27, June 10, 2014 (UTC)
    • I still think that the article needs this information in the introduction; some mention of the time is almost universally present in status article introductions.--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 23:20, June 10, 2014 (UTC)
  • If the article is broken into sections, the introduction should not have references.--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 18:33, June 10, 2014 (UTC)
    • Done
  • The introduction could use a little more context. The location of the garage and her time as an orphan on Corellia would be good.
    • Orphan and Corellia added. If I add any more I feel like the introduction and biography become too similar to each other.
  • Looking at the book I noticed a few things you should add.
    • When nominating RPG characters you can sometimes get a lot of information from the skills listed. In Vaturha's case, you can mention that she was skilled in using communications devices, flying space transports, operating starship weaponry, and operating shields on starships.
      • As discussed in IRC not every skill is relevant as it dips into game mechanics. Other FA RPG articles do not list every skill, just ones that support or describe the character better.
    • For her repair skills, it would be a good idea to mention the different things she can repair. Just because someone can fix datapads and starfighters doesn't mean that they can fix other things.
    • You should mention that she wore work coveralls and had a diagnostic scanner.
      • Added diagnostic scanner. Work coveralls seems unnecessary.
    • You should mention that she liked being around machines and droids because living being had been cruel to her.
      • Done
    • She was NaKuda's top mechanics for at least a year.
    • She had been working as a mechanic for years.
      • Done
  • I know it looks like a lot, but everyone's first nomination is usually a little rough, so don't feel bad.--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 19:41, June 10, 2014 (UTC)
  • You should provide some context for Corelliain the body and intro. Saying it was a planet should be fine.
  • Some of the information about the AA-2 Keeper seems like it might fit better in the biography. It would give more information about how her master treated her in the primary section of the article. You could move most of the information to the bio and leave a short mention in the equipment section.
  • I don't think you can say she became his top mechanic after the Battle of Yavin. She could have easily started before the battle.--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 23:20, June 10, 2014 (UTC)

Comments

  • I would suggest enabling the highlight all redirects as orange option in your preferences. It can be found under the gadgets section. Supreme Emperor (talk) 13:57, June 10, 2014 (UTC)
    • Oh gods...why did you suggest this? Now I see orange links EVERYWHERE :P --praguepride (Talk) 15:33, June 10, 2014 (UTC)

Emperor's advice

  • By the way, you also can use another gadget wich is the Dupplicated links. You should use it. There's the planet link linked twice in the same section.--Emperor Jarjarkine GalacticRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit Senate Hall 18:12, June 10, 2014 (UTC)
    • I enabled it but I can't see the visual difference at least on this computer. Should items like people/sex/species etc. be linked multiple times (once in the intro, once in the body) or once in the intro only? I've seen it both ways...
      • In fact, you should be linking once in the body. And the body contains:Biography, Personality and triats, and BTS so, you should be linking it once. Plus it is a relative short article so, linking it twice would'nt be of any use. The link that comes back twice is the planet link. the second one must be killed. Oh and, the intro links dont have any effect on the body. You can have the female link in the intro and the body and there wont be any problems. you see what i mean ?--Emperor Jarjarkine GalacticRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit Senate Hall 18:24, June 10, 2014 (UTC)
        • Done
  • Since the source never states she was born on Corellia, merely orphaned there, I removed the homeworld as it is speculation. I also fixed some of the improper linkage that was in the Skills and Abilities and Equipment sections. Trip391 (talk) 18:58, June 10, 2014 (UTC)