- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a comprehensive article nomination that was unsuccessful. Please do not modify it.
Nemrileo irm-Drocubac
- Nominated by: Supreme Emperor (talk) 05:14, March 16, 2013 (UTC)
- Nomination comments:Another for project novels
(0 ECs/1 Users/1 Total)
Support
- — DigiFluid(Whine here) 12:30, March 17, 2013 (UTC)
Object
Resident Grammar Nazi — DigiFluid(Whine here) 04:17, March 17, 2013 (UTC)Grammar: "represented the planet of Tanjay IV" — the "of" here is unnecessary. I suppose it's not technically wrong, but it's a grammatical quirk that rubs me the wrong way because it doesn't need to be there.- Fixed
Grammar: "others in the separatist movement" — While I realize this could be a generic usage of the term, it seems to me that, because it's referring to the Separatists, "Separatist" should be capitalized.- Capitalized
Grammar/Style: I'm not sure on this one—do we know which is this person's given name, and which is his surname? As it's written now, the quote used cites (what appears to be) his given name, where encyclopedic style should be written by surname.- Something like this?
Style: "others in the separatist movement" — This should probably also link to something related; perhaps Confederacy of Independent Systems.- Linked Supreme Emperor (talk) 12:17, March 17, 2013 (UTC)
- CC-8
Needs a Bts and a bio- Like this?
Can you clarify why his death sent a message to Shui Mai haters? And if his death served as a message does that mean it was planned or really an accident?- Does the quote I added give more context, or would you like me to reword that line a bit?
- Some rewording would help, I'm still not sure why he was connected to the CIS
- How bout now?
- Some rewording would help, I'm still not sure why he was connected to the CIS
- Does the quote I added give more context, or would you like me to reword that line a bit?
Articles for his wife and children- Don't really have enough information on them to make articles. For his wife, all i could really say was she was his wife.
- I'm pretty sure they still warrant creation anyway, a lot of articles are made by people who are briefly mentioned.
- Created links for his wife and kids, i'll create the articles tomorrow.
- I'll strike the objection once the articles are made. Commander Code-8 G'day, mate 09:49, March 22, 2013 (UTC)
- Articles created
- I'll strike the objection once the articles are made. Commander Code-8 G'day, mate 09:49, March 22, 2013 (UTC)
- Created links for his wife and kids, i'll create the articles tomorrow.
- I'm pretty sure they still warrant creation anyway, a lot of articles are made by people who are briefly mentioned.
- Don't really have enough information on them to make articles. For his wife, all i could really say was she was his wife.
Looking at the Holonet article it says that Palpatine was going to his funeral, probably worth saying.- Added
I don't know why his name is referenced in the infobox.- This is what happens when you reference stuff just before going to bed :P
- Ok, hopefully all these don't take the article past 250 words. Commander Code-8 G'day, mate 21:18, March 17, 2013 (UTC)
- Thanks for the review. Supreme Emperor (talk) 02:56, March 18, 2013 (UTC)
You could link to the Holonet report in the Bts- Linked
What conspiracy was he part of that's mentioned in the first quote. Should be mentioned.Commander Code-8 G'day, mate 05:16, March 21, 2013 (UTC)- Expanded Supreme Emperor (talk) 02:24, March 22, 2013 (UTC)
Still more: Coruscant should probably be in the intro- Mentioned
If he was part of the Seperatist movement the Commerce Guild should be in the affiliations- Added
Using the word murdered in the bio makes it sound like someone sabotaged the aircar or something, is that what happened?- Tried to make it clearer, does it still need some rewording?
Some form of context should be given for the Separatist crisis, something like "...the Seperatist crisis, in which hundreds of systems seceeded from the Galactic Republic to the Confederacy of Independant Systems."Commander Code-8 G'day, mate 09:49, March 22, 2013 (UTC)- Context added. Supreme Emperor (talk) 02:24, March 24, 2013 (UTC)
- Sorry to do this to ya, but the articles now at 279 words, meaning it will need to go to GAN. I can archive this if you want. Commander Code-8 G'day, mate 02:45, March 24, 2013 (UTC)
- Well this is unfortunate, or fortunate depending on how you look at it :P I'd appreciate it if you could archive it for me. Thanks, Supreme Emperor (talk) 12:19, March 24, 2013 (UTC)
Comments
- Join project novels :) Supreme Emperor (talk) 05:23, March 16, 2013 (UTC)