- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a comprehensive article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.
Mantooine Minuet
- Nominated by: Eyrezer 00:34, September 24, 2010 (UTC)
- Nomination comments: Palpatine liked dance?
(3 ECs/1 Users/4 Total)
Support
What?—Jedi Kasra (comlink) 07:05, September 24, 2010 (UTC)- "Lapti Nek," eat your heart out. ~ SavageBob 15:13, October 6, 2010 (UTC)
- SoresuMakashi(Everything I tell you is a lie) 01:19, October 22, 2010 (UTC)
- Darth Trayus(Trayus Academy) 07:25, October 23, 2010 (UTC)
Object
Could you perhaps reorganize your sentences to make them a bit more chronological? Right now the information about Mara being captured seems superfluous. I'm certain it's not, but it doesn't fit in with the rest of the article as of now. Darth Trayus(Trayus Academy) 09:10, September 27, 2010 (UTC)- I'm not sure of the best way to go about this. How does it look now? --Eyrezer 06:46, October 4, 2010 (UTC)
- Well the problem I have with it is that this: "Following his death in 4 ABY, Emperor's Hand Mara Jade was captured by Director of Imperial Intelligence Ysanne Isard. Isard considered Jade a threat as she knew only that the Emperor trusted Jade but was otherwise unable to ascertain any details about the woman who had presented herself as merely a dancer in the Imperial court. Following her capture, Jade was interrogated by Ivak, one of Isard's agents." seems to have very little to do with Mantooine Minuet. If you could perhaps reduce some of the unnecessary information, it would go a long way to clearing up the vital information on the subject. I know it's context, but that's not all necessary to understanding Mantooine Minuet and its history. Darth Trayus(Trayus Academy) 07:34, October 12, 2010 (UTC)
- Ah ok. The reference to chronology had me confused. How about now? --Eyrezer 06:28, October 23, 2010 (UTC)
- Much better—sorry about the chronology comment. I misinterpreted a part of the text as being something else. But it all looks good now. Darth Trayus(Trayus Academy) 07:25, October 23, 2010 (UTC)
- Ah ok. The reference to chronology had me confused. How about now? --Eyrezer 06:28, October 23, 2010 (UTC)
- Well the problem I have with it is that this: "Following his death in 4 ABY, Emperor's Hand Mara Jade was captured by Director of Imperial Intelligence Ysanne Isard. Isard considered Jade a threat as she knew only that the Emperor trusted Jade but was otherwise unable to ascertain any details about the woman who had presented herself as merely a dancer in the Imperial court. Following her capture, Jade was interrogated by Ivak, one of Isard's agents." seems to have very little to do with Mantooine Minuet. If you could perhaps reduce some of the unnecessary information, it would go a long way to clearing up the vital information on the subject. I know it's context, but that's not all necessary to understanding Mantooine Minuet and its history. Darth Trayus(Trayus Academy) 07:34, October 12, 2010 (UTC)
- I'm not sure of the best way to go about this. How does it look now? --Eyrezer 06:46, October 4, 2010 (UTC)
Comments
- Thanks Cylka, for the CSWE entry. --Eyrezer 00:43, September 24, 2010 (UTC)
- I wonder: should classical music be written up as an article? In other words, is it an in-universe genre on par with jatz and jizz and the like? ~ SavageBob 20:39, October 1, 2010 (UTC)