Wookieepedia:Comprehensive article nominations/Laan Tik's lightsaber

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Comprehensive article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Laan Tik's lightsaber

  • Nominated by: LucaRoR (talk) 14:51, 29 June 2021 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments:

(2 ECs/3 Users/5 Total)

(Votes required: No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)

Support

  1. Reviewed via Discord. VergenceScatter (talk) 17:02, 29 June 2021 (UTC)
  2. Nice work for your first nom. JediMasterMacaroniAdmiral Ackbar RH(Talk) 18:04, 8 July 2021 (UTC)
  3. ECvote Made a last copy-edit, good work with the objections. Commander Code-8 Hello There! 04:56, 13 July 2021 (UTC)
  4. Lewisr (talk) 18:24, 15 July 2021 (UTC)
  5. ECvote OOM 224 ༼༽talk༼༽ 18:31, 17 July 2021 (UTC)

Object

OOM
  • Welcome to the CAN! Starting off with the infobox, "by 22 BBY" would be more accurate. Also, unless Galactic Atlas mentions the lightsaber, you should use a manual date reference. Example: ref 1 in [[[Unidentified Zeltron]]
    • Done LucaRoR (talk) 17:51, 29 June 2021 (UTC)
      • "Prior 22 BBY" should be changed to "By 22 BBY" for accuracy. Also, more links should be added to the reference, and Star Wars: Galactic Atlas should be italicised.
  • Per WP:MOS#Linking, links in {{Quote}} should be removed if they are also used in the article body.
  • References should be placed after punctuation marks such as commas and full stops (periods)
  • Links should be used in the first time its subject appears in the article body. In this case, the link to gender can be moved up. OOM 224 ༼༽talk༼༽ 17:15, 29 June 2021 (UTC)
    • I've removed the reference because it was important LucaRoR (talk) 17:51, 29 June 2021 (UTC)
      • Pronouns such as "his" should be linked to gender, so the link should be added to the second sentence
  • Using the source editor, please change "..." to "…"
  • Final objections from me:
    • First paragraph uses too many commas; it should be split into multiple sentences.
    • I see no need to mention Jar Jar's species here, but if you really want to, then Laan Tik's species should be mentioned as well.
      • Removed Jar Jar's species LucaRoR (Talk) 20:59, 16 July 2021 (UTC)
    • Instead of saying Tik used the lightsaber "in combat," you could just say that he used the saber during the Battle of Mimban.
      • I need it because otherwise "lightsaber combat" would be inbox only, anyway I've changed the sentence. LucaRoR (Talk) 20:59, 16 July 2021 (UTC)
    • How did Jar Jar destroy the droids? OOM 224 ༼༽talk༼༽ 20:45, 16 July 2021 (UTC)
      • I've added "using the weapon" is that enough or do I need to write "with a strike" or something like that? LucaRoR (Talk) 20:59, 16 July 2021 (UTC)
  • Yeah, it's better to specify how the lightsaber was used against the droids, especially since a ligtsaber's uses include deflecting blaster bolts and slicing through things OOM 224 ༼༽talk༼༽ 09:23, 17 July 2021 (UTC)
  • Remaining objections addressed through Discord OOM 224 ༼༽talk༼༽ 18:31, 17 July 2021 (UTC)
CC-8
  • There's a lot more detail on its use shown in the comic that is all relevant, how exactly Jar Jar saved Rex, that he fumbled with it until Rex caught it, that Jar Jar nearly killed himself five times, and that Jar Jar asked for it back.
  • There's an unnecessary space in your infobox.
  • Missing a 22 in 22 BBY in the ref note.
  • Please remove the contraction
  • Last sentence should specify that the two were fighting towards the shield generator.
    • Done LucaRoR (talk) 10:24, 8 July 2021 (UTC)
      • Not seeing this one done, though you've mentioned it earlier. Needs a link their too. Commander Code-8 Hello There! 02:17, 9 July 2021 (UTC)
        • Yeah, I've added "towards the shield generator when you told me to, I've just added the link. LucaRoR (talk) 07:33, 9 July 2021 (UTC)
          • I said to put it in the last sentence as well, as in make it clear that Binks asked for it while they fought towards the shield generator. Commander Code-8 Hello There! 03:20, 11 July 2021 (UTC)
  • Can mention the type of droids that were shooting at Rex. There's some poor phrasing in that sentence that needs to be fixed too. Commander Code-8 Hello There! 14:50, 5 July 2021 (UTC)
    • Done, I think I've fixed the "poor phrasing" too, but I don't know. LucaRoR (talk) 10:24, 8 July 2021 (UTC)
  • Needs a bit more context for Jar Jar and Rex when they're first mentioned.
  • Jedi Order is infobox exclusive
  • Jar Jar nearly killing himself five times should go in the body. Commander Code-8 Hello There! 03:20, 11 July 2021 (UTC)
Macaroni
  • Article could use a paragraph break.
  • Lightsaber combat is exclusive to the infobox. JediMasterMacaroniAdmiral Ackbar RH(Talk) 17:51, 6 July 2021 (UTC)
    • I've written "to fight" because "lightsaber combat" doesn't really roll the tongue.LucaRoR (talk) 10:15, 8 July 2021 (UTC)
      • In that case it was the link that was not present in the body, which I have fixed for you.
  • (Review note) Take a look at this copy-edit for some grammar and formatting fixes. JediMasterMacaroniAdmiral Ackbar RH(Talk) 18:04, 8 July 2021 (UTC)
Lewis
  • Kyber crystal is infobox exclusive Lewisr (talk) 19:14, 8 July 2021 (UTC)
    • Fixed LucaRoR (talk) 07:33, 9 July 2021 (UTC)
      • Referencing needs fixing since it can't be directly sourced to the issue.
  • The kyber crystal note should be fully linked

Comments

Approved as a Comprehensive article by EduCorps 18:31, 17 July 2021 (UTC)