Wookieepedia:Comprehensive article nominations/Disabled Trade Federation base

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a comprehensive article nomination that was unsuccessful. Please do not modify it.

Disabled Trade Federation base

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Support

Object

  1. Soresu
    • Intro could use some expansion.
    • Unsourced infobox items.
      • Nixed.
    • Punctuation before refs.
      • Fixed.
    • Linking.
      • Some more linked.
    • I'm not entirely sure what controls the base's defences just from reading the article? Is it that the Central Control Computer normally controls it, but the base is also capable of running independently? Or was the entire thing about Comm 4 having any part in its operation a ruse? SoresuMakashi(Everything I tell you is a lie) 01:31, October 3, 2010 (UTC)
    • Prior to attacking the base, This is notable. Instead of using it as context, it should be directly stated that the Naboo planned a strike against the base.
      • Expanded.
        • Not fixed, on second reading. I should be stated directly. Basically, you should say that the underground formulated a plan to attack the base. Then you can talk about Comm 4 as you have done. The gunboat and slave camp free-ing can be talked about later, with the mention of Gavin Sykes. I think this would streamline the article. SoresuMakashi(Everything I tell you is the truth) 04:02, October 8, 2010 (UTC)
    • How much control does the CCC actually have over this base? Does it entirely control it, or does it give only "commands"? This could be clarified in characteristics.
    • After a running battle, most of the base would lie in rubble. Lieutenant Gavyn Sykes blew up the shield generator protecting the command center. For the base to lie in rubble, wouldn't the second sentence have to occur first? Also, could you reword the first sentence? SoresuMakashi(Everything I tell you is a lie) 22:42, October 5, 2010 (UTC)
    • How come there's no mention of the Neimodian population in the body?
    • The River article says he came downriver, but this article says he went up it. Which is correct?
      • According to dialogue, upriver. Corellian PremierAll along the watchtower 01:39, October 12, 2010 (UTC)
        • The characteristics section is very clean now. But I think that's a contradiction. I the games' case, they used the word to describe just going along the river, however, its general meaning is "towards the source". I know you're just taking it verbatim, but perhaps if you just changed it to "down the river"? SoresuMakashi(Everything I tell you is a lie) 02:11, October 12, 2010 (UTC)
          • Okay, so changed.
    • After destroying Comm 4, the Naboo pilots descended from orbit and began their sorties against the base, and the Federation defenses reactivated and commenced firing on the Naboo ships. Split the sentence. Also, if the reason for the reactivation is unknwon, could you at least add in "unexpectedly reactivated" to make it clear?
    • I'm beginning to question the name of the article. It wasn't truly disabled, nor was it always disabled. Could it be renamed?
    • The article says that it was located near the mouth of the river. Are you sure you don't mean to headwaters? The mouth is where it ends (I believe that's the swamp).
    • I know I'm being picky here, but I'm just trying to make the article as clear as possible :) It's getting there. SoresuMakashi(Everything I tell you is the truth) 04:02, October 8, 2010 (UTC)

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