- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a comprehensive article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.
Borna
- Nominated by: -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 22:33, June 1, 2010 (UTC)
- Nomination comments: Let's give this a try.
(1 GCs/6 Users/7 Total)
Support
- NAYAYEN:TALK 23:13, June 1, 2010 (UTC)
- Thefourdotelipsis 00:02, June 2, 2010 (UTC)
Imperialles 12:07, June 2, 2010 (UTC)- SoresuMakashi(Everything I tell you is the truth) 23:49, June 2, 2010 (UTC)
- ~ SavageBob 16:33, June 5, 2010 (UTC)
- Looking good --Jinzler 18:01, June 6, 2010 (UTC)
- --TK-299 (Click Here)
08:27, June 8, 2010 (UTC)
Object
- Nayayen has an objection AND A HALF!
"Borna was a composer who lived during the Imperial Period. Borna was a member of the Alliance to Restore the Republic..." Could this be reworded so it doesn't sound like two intros bolted together?- Done.
"However, the Empire did not take kindly to such activism, and Borna died while still very young..." The way you word this implies that the Empire killed him. Can you clarify as to whether they did or not?- Well, the wording in the source isn't clear on this, but the implication is very clear, so I've tried to reflect that in the article.
- CANs are fun aren't they? NAYAYEN:TALK 22:55, June 1, 2010 (UTC)
- Most certainly. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 23:11, June 1, 2010 (UTC)
"Borna died while still very young at some point between 2 BBY and 5 ABY." What are these dates based on?--Imperialles 06:51, June 2, 2010 (UTC)- Added an explanatory footnote, should be good now. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 12:06, June 2, 2010 (UTC)
- Savage
"However, as he was a member of the Rebel Alliance—founded in 2 BBY according to The New Essential Chronology—his date of death must be between the Alliance's conception and when Dark Forces: Jedi Knight is set, in 5 ABY." The change in tense here is a bit jarring; change the "must be" to "must have been"?The first three sentences could be joined into a single paragraph and it wouldn't seem so choppy. Otherwise, solid work! ~ SavageBob 00:40, June 3, 2010 (UTC)- Done and done. Thank you very much. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 16:22, June 5, 2010 (UTC)
Comments