Wookieepedia:Comprehensive article nominations/Blue-milk pancakes

< Wookieepedia:Comprehensive article nominations
The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Comprehensive article nomination that was unsuccessful. Please do not modify it.

Blue-milk pancakes

  • Nominated by: D MCCG D MCCG (chat) 01:48, 23 September 2021 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Galaxy's Edge better add this to their menu.

(0 ECs/1 Users/1 Total)

(Votes required: 2 EC vote(s) required to reach minimum. Additional 2 user or 1 EC vote required to pass.)

Support

  1. YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol (talk) 03:45, 9 October 2021 (UTC)

Object

Fan
  • We should be able to date this.
    • I'll start to work on a date note. ~ D MCCG D MCCG (chat) 10:39, 23 September 2021 (UTC)
    • Done. ~ D MCCG D MCCG (chat) 00:05, 24 September 2021 (UTC)
      • Please provide sourcing for the date note's assertion of the dates the films take place in, thanks. Fan26 (Talk) 15:07, 25 September 2021 (UTC)
        • Done ~ D MCCG D MCCG (chat) 18:19, 25 September 2021 (UTC)
  • Contextualise Derlin as a major of the alliance please. Fan26 (Talk) 03:25, 23 September 2021 (UTC)
    • Done, thanks. ~ D MCCG D MCCG (chat) 10:39, 23 September 2021 (UTC)
      • "...rescued Major of the Rebel Alliance, Bren Derlin," Just saying "Rebel Alliance Major Bren Derlin" is much less wordy. Fan26 (Talk) 15:07, 25 September 2021 (UTC)
        • Done. ~ D MCCG D MCCG (chat) 18:19, 25 September 2021 (UTC)
Blue Immi
  • Article is in the present tense--please change to past! (In the process of doing that, contractions should be eliminated.)
    • Done. ~ D MCCG D MCCG (chat) 18:19, 25 September 2021 (UTC)
      • The article is still in present tense where Kordi Freemaker comes in.
        • Sorry about that, done. ~ D MCCG D MCCG (chat) 01:49, 29 September 2021 (UTC)
          • Although you changed one of the present tense words, that sentence is still in present tense afterward. I would more specifically identify what needs changing, but this is something for you to develop; it affects more than just this article. You'll get there! Immi Thrax RainbowRebellion2 (talk) 05:37, 29 September 2021 (UTC)
            • I think I'm finally done! ~ D MCCG D MCCG (chat) 12:13, 29 September 2021 (UTC)
              • I'm sorry, but present tense is still in use, and this is something I'm not comfortable fixing for you. Immi Thrax RainbowRebellion2 (talk) 01:36, 4 October 2021 (UTC)
                • I don't understand specifically where you are telling me to fix. ~ D MCCG D MCCGholiday (chat) 18:08, 4 October 2021 (UTC)
                  • JediMasterMacaroni has fixed part of it for you and you fixed some of it as well. There is one remaining in this phrase: "and realized that she had lied to him so she will not have to eat his pancakes." Immi Thrax RainbowRebellion2 (talk) 10:55, 5 October 2021 (UTC)
                    • I have done it, thanks for showing me the mistake. ~ D MCCG D MCCGholiday (chat) 11:30, 5 October 2021 (UTC)
  • I often see mentions of blue milk followed by a mention of where it comes from, but is LEGO blue milk known to come from LEGO banthas? If so...
    • Done ~ D MCCG D MCCG (chat) 18:19, 25 September 2021 (UTC)
  • I'd suggest revising the second sentence for clarity, perhaps by splitting it, since right now it interrupts the topic of RO-GR and Hondo to explain the StarScavenger. Please let me know if you'd like specific suggestions on how to reword it.
    • I would like specific suggestions on how you want me to reword it. ~ D MCCG D MCCG (chat) 18:19, 25 September 2021 (UTC)
      • Here's a possibility: "In 4 ABY,[2] the Weequay pirate Hondo Ohnaka appeared on the starship called the StarScavenger that was owned by the B1-series battle droid R0-GR and his family of scavengers. R0-GR asked Ohnaka why he was on the StarScavenger, and Ohnaka said that the Freemakers sent him on a blue milk run." Immi Thrax RainbowRebellion2 (talk) 04:17, 26 September 2021 (UTC)
        • Thanks for the suggestion, done. ~ D MCCG D MCCG (chat) 20:09, 26 September 2021 (UTC)
  • Right now, there's a Legends article for blue milk run but not a canon equivalent. Immi Thrax RainbowRebellion2 (talk) 09:14, 25 September 2021 (UTC)
    • Since the canon blue milk run appeared in Battlefront II: Inferno Squad, I don't know what it is because I do not have the book, so I can't make the page because I don't have any info on it. ~ D MCCG D MCCG (chat) 18:19, 25 September 2021 (UTC)
      • If using the phrase "blue milk run" is important for this article, I'm sorry to say it'll likely mean having a redlink. Perhaps someone familiar with other uses of the phrase in canon could assist you with making that. Immi Thrax RainbowRebellion2 (talk) 04:17, 26 September 2021 (UTC)
        • I'll try to get some more info and work on the page. ~ D MCCG D MCCG (chat) 20:09, 26 September 2021 (UTC)
        • Done with the page. ~ D MCCG D MCCG (chat) 11:23, 28 September 2021 (UTC)
Latkes
  • The first sentence of the second paragraph is a run-on, please fix it.
  • That sentence also has some incorrect tensing.
    • Tried to fix it, don't know if I fixed all of it though. ~ D MCCG D MCCGholiday (chat) 18:08, 4 October 2021 (UTC)
  • The release date in the bts is not self-sourcing, it needs a new ref.
  • The physical description is currently only mentioned in the infobox.
    • Added some detail. ~ D MCCG D MCCGholiday (chat) 18:08, 4 October 2021 (UTC)
  • (Review note) Please see this copy-edit. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 01:25, 4 October 2021 (UTC)
    • Thumbs up! ~ D MCCG D MCCGholiday (chat) 18:08, 4 October 2021 (UTC)
  • Please explain how Hondo appeared on the ship, I assume he did not teleport there.
    • Done. ~ D MCCG D MCCGholiday (chat) 11:41, 7 October 2021 (UTC)
      • A little context on why he absconded, please. It's unclear right now. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 15:02, 11 October 2021 (UTC)
        • It is because he was trying to steal the ship and absconded also means stealing so I think it is good. ~ D MCCG D MCCGholiday (chat) 02:17, 13 October 2021 (UTC)
          • If he stole the ship, how does R0-GR know? JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 15:45, 15 October 2021 (UTC)
            • Made it a little more clearer. ~ D MCCG D MCCGholiday (chat) 23:43, 16 October 2021 (UTC)
  • Can the bit on banthas actually be sourced to the episode? JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 15:00, 6 October 2021 (UTC)
    • No. Since it is non-canon, can it still be sourced to a canon source that says blue milk came from banthas or does it have to be from a LEGO non-canon source? ~ D MCCG D MCCGholiday (chat) 11:41, 7 October 2021 (UTC)
  • Now it's unclear how R0-GR contacted Hondo. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 02:38, 17 October 2021 (UTC)
    • Fixed it. ~ D MCCG D MCCGholiday (chat) 12:42, 17 October 2021 (UTC)
  • Article is now at 172 words and requires sectioning. Here is an example of how to section it. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 17:43, 18 October 2021 (UTC)
    • Do I just do a History section and shorten the intro? ~ D MCCG D MCCGholiday (chat) 19:17, 24 October 2021 (UTC)
      • Not exactly. Keeping everything you have right now, move any info about its description to a "Description" section, and the rest about its history goes in a "History" section. Once that's done, you'll right an intro that summarizes the topic. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 14:52, 25 October 2021 (UTC)
        • Did it. ~ D MCCG D MCCGholiday (chat) 11:34, 26 October 2021 (UTC)
  • Context on the Freemakers. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 02:46, 24 October 2021 (UTC)
    • Done. ~ D MCCG D MCCGholiday (chat) 19:17, 24 October 2021 (UTC)
  • The article count is now at 288 words, making it ineligible for Comprehensive status. If you'd like, you can nominate it for the GAN, but this nomination will need to be archived. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 14:49, 26 October 2021 (UTC)
    • I might but if I will, would I have to make it larger and more images and stuff like that? ~ D MCCG D MCCGholiday (chat) 00:06, 27 October 2021 (UTC)
      • No, there's no need to make it larger, but if there's a good image to add to the body, it would be good to add it, yeah. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 14:59, 27 October 2021 (UTC)
        • Ok I will then, but do I archive it or do admin do that? ~ D MCCG D MCCGholiday (chat) 00:21, 28 October 2021 (UTC)
          • A member of the EduCorps such as myself will do it. In fact, I'm doing it now :) I hope to see this on the GAN soon! JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 01:34, 28 October 2021 (UTC)

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