- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a comprehensive article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.
Blackwater Systems
- Nominated by: Holocron
(Complain) 05:22, September 25, 2010 (UTC): - Nomination comments: This place was pretty much a drug factory. Enjoy.
(1 ECs/3 Users/4 Total)
Support
- Darth Karikawill destroy your planet! 15:28, October 7, 2010 (UTC)
- Hooray! Menkooroo 15:43, October 23, 2010 (UTC)
- Wonder what their benefits are for employees. ~ SavageBob 17:39, October 23, 2010 (UTC)
1358 (Talk) 11:59, October 26, 2010 (UTC)
Object
- Karika
Context needed for Granta Omega, Falleen, Jenna Zan Arbor, Roy Teda, Anakin Skywalker, and Obi-Wan Kenobi.Unless you can provide a source for the BtS note, it has to go.refs are needed since there is more than one source.Darth Karikawill destroy your planet! 12:05, September 25, 2010 (UTC)- I believe I fixed these problems, the BtS note has been removed, refs were added and context was added. You had better check it though. Holocron (Complain) 13:25, September 25, 2010 (UTC)
Refs are also needed in the infobox.The article needs a short BtS, something along the lines of any other comprehensive article.Darth Karikawill destroy your planet! 22:12, September 25, 2010 (UTC)- I added refs to the infobox. The BtS was based off of the one from this article. Also, I'm not going to have internet access until the 30/9 (9/30), so if more changes are needed I'll do them then. Don't think I've abandoned it. Holocron
(Complain) 23:40, September 25, 2010 (UTC)
- I added refs to the infobox. The BtS was based off of the one from this article. Also, I'm not going to have internet access until the 30/9 (9/30), so if more changes are needed I'll do them then. Don't think I've abandoned it. Holocron
- I believe I fixed these problems, the BtS note has been removed, refs were added and context was added. You had better check it though. Holocron
- Karika part 2
Blackwater's appearance in the CSWE should be mentioned in the BtS.Darth Karikawill destroy your planet! 12:29, September 26, 2010 (UTC)- Done. Holocron (Complain) 05:54, September 30, 2010 (UTC)
You could probably condense the BtS into one paragraph.Darth Karikawill destroy your planet! 20:53, October 1, 2010 (UTC)- Done. Holocron (Complain) 04:37, October 3, 2010 (UTC)
- Objection(s) overridden by EduCorps 12:04, October 26, 2010 (UTC)
- Done. Holocron
- Done. Holocron
- Karika impostor
It looks great! I'm just wondering if you can tell me more about these Senate Utility Tunnels. I haven't read the book, so I genuinely don't know --- the article mentions that they've been recreated, but it doesn't state what they are or where the original versions of them were. Each word is capitalized, which makes me wonder if it's a formal title --- do you think it's worthy of its own article? I'm confused and hoping you can enlighten me, and maybe provide a bit of context on them in the article, too. Again, great work! Menkooroo 13:50, October 15, 2010 (UTC)- The Senate Utility Tunnels are the tunnels under the Senate building which feed water into the Senate complex. Well, that's what the book says. I think it should probably have its own article as it's a fairly large area with enough information to right about. If I get some time I'll try to do it. I also attempted to add the context you spoke of, it should be enough to give the reader an idea of what they are without actually going into details. Is there any reason why voting on this page is so slow? Half of the nominations are left abandoned... Holocron (Complain) 13:15, October 17, 2010 (UTC)
- Context is good, but the entire third paragraph is now one big long and dragging sentence. I feel like it would flow better if you split it up into two. As for the slow voting, it just kinda happens; best to grin and bear it. My first nom took over six months to pass. It was on the FAN page rather than the CAN page, but regardless, patience is a virture. :^) Menkooroo 13:25, October 17, 2010 (UTC)
- The paragraph now has two sentences, though one of them is still fairly large it didn't seem to work as well when chopped up. I'm surprised that Featured articles would take so long, I thought it was slow here because Comprehensive articles aren't as well-known. Holocron (Complain) 21:25, October 17, 2010 (UTC)
- The FAN process isn't usually that long. I don't mean to discourage you from writing one (seriously! Keep writing :) ). I tweaked the final paragraph a bit; take a look. I also added a redlink for Senate Utility Tunnels, and, since CA's can't have any redlinks, I'll support this article as soon as you create that one. Cheers! Menkooroo 00:02, October 18, 2010 (UTC)
- Well, the article's made, when I have more time I think I'll go change it, but at least it's there. I don't think I like the new layout much though. Holocron (Complain) 05:44, October 23, 2010 (UTC)
- Well, the article's made, when I have more time I think I'll go change it, but at least it's there. I don't think I like the new layout much though. Holocron
- The FAN process isn't usually that long. I don't mean to discourage you from writing one (seriously! Keep writing :) ). I tweaked the final paragraph a bit; take a look. I also added a redlink for Senate Utility Tunnels, and, since CA's can't have any redlinks, I'll support this article as soon as you create that one. Cheers! Menkooroo 00:02, October 18, 2010 (UTC)
- The paragraph now has two sentences, though one of them is still fairly large it didn't seem to work as well when chopped up. I'm surprised that Featured articles would take so long, I thought it was slow here because Comprehensive articles aren't as well-known. Holocron
- Context is good, but the entire third paragraph is now one big long and dragging sentence. I feel like it would flow better if you split it up into two. As for the slow voting, it just kinda happens; best to grin and bear it. My first nom took over six months to pass. It was on the FAN page rather than the CAN page, but regardless, patience is a virture. :^) Menkooroo 13:25, October 17, 2010 (UTC)
- The Senate Utility Tunnels are the tunnels under the Senate building which feed water into the Senate complex. Well, that's what the book says. I think it should probably have its own article as it's a fairly large area with enough information to right about. If I get some time I'll try to do it. I also attempted to add the context you spoke of, it should be enough to give the reader an idea of what they are without actually going into details. Is there any reason why voting on this page is so slow? Half of the nominations are left abandoned... Holocron
Comments
- Since I went ahead and made the changes, I will list them here for when you get back. Make sure you link to everything possible in the article (Jude Watson was not linked).
- I fixed the refs. If there is more than one, you do not need to keep adding the long version. There is a shorter reference note you can use, and you can implement it yourself in the rest of the article. Also, I recently learned this myself, if you have a ref in the infobox, you need to encase it in the "Reference" template. And one final thing, I think you need to source the era as well in the infobox. Corellian PremierAll along the watchtower 03:04, September 26, 2010 (UTC)
- Thanks for the help. I changed the rest of the refs, though it didn't make all that much of a difference. Holocron (Complain) 05:54, September 30, 2010 (UTC)
- Thanks for the help. I changed the rest of the refs, though it didn't make all that much of a difference. Holocron
- I fixed the refs. If there is more than one, you do not need to keep adding the long version. There is a shorter reference note you can use, and you can implement it yourself in the rest of the article. Also, I recently learned this myself, if you have a ref in the infobox, you need to encase it in the "Reference" template. And one final thing, I think you need to source the era as well in the infobox. Corellian PremierAll along the watchtower 03:04, September 26, 2010 (UTC)
- Might do to add a brief comparison in the BTS section with the real Blackwater company. The novel was written and published around the time that Blackwater was in the media. While they may differ in their trade, both are secretive and have controversy. What do you think? Andykatib 03:24, September 26, 2010 (UTC)
- Unless there is a source for the connection, then no. Darth Karikawill destroy your planet! 12:29, September 26, 2010 (UTC)
- Since I went ahead and made the changes, I will list them here for when you get back. Make sure you link to everything possible in the article (Jude Watson was not linked).