- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a comprehensive article nomination that was unsuccessful. Please do not modify it.
Aaghra
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- 501st
You use "thus" in two sentences in a row.- Done.
You don't need to link to Type IV, as it redirects to atmosphere, which is already linked.- Done.
Context on Coruscant.- Done.
You have two different refferences for the Atlas. You only need one.- I thought it would be important to mention two different places as the main content on the planet is in the center of the book where as the grid coordinates are in the Appendix section (i.e. that page's table). Are you sure it is necessary to modify it?
- You can just reff it as one reference. It doesn't matter where it comes from.
- As you wish, done. :)
- You can just reff it as one reference. It doesn't matter where it comes from.
- I thought it would be important to mention two different places as the main content on the planet is in the center of the book where as the grid coordinates are in the Appendix section (i.e. that page's table). Are you sure it is necessary to modify it?
- Looks good otherwise. 501st dogma(talk) 20:32, September 29, 2012 (UTC)
Could you give authors for the Atlas?501st dogma(talk) 23:31, September 29, 2012 (UTC)
- Exiled Jedi
In the Behind the scenes section, could you mention the part of the Planet Hoppers series that the planet appeared in?Could you mention the author of the Aargau article?"The planet Aaghra was the first planet..." I think it would be best to not use planet twice here, perhaps just "Aaghra was the first planet..."I believe that the first sentence needs to be either broken up or reworded. Breaking off the part about the hyperlane to be part of a new sentence would be fine.- You should still include this in the article, it just shouldn't be in the first sentence.--Exiled Jedi
(Greetings) 22:43, September 30, 2012 (UTC)
- Honestly man, I don't see how it is that relevant to deserve its own sentence. There's already Coruscant as in terms of neighbourhood. Creating one more sentence just to say that is also close to the x hyperlane seems a bit misplaced no? :/ Winterz (talk) 23:24, September 30, 2012 (UTC)
- Sorry, I thought you said the system was on the route.--Exiled Jedi (Greetings) 02:18, October 1, 2012 (UTC)
- Sorry, I thought you said the system was on the route.--Exiled Jedi
- Honestly man, I don't see how it is that relevant to deserve its own sentence. There's already Coruscant as in terms of neighbourhood. Creating one more sentence just to say that is also close to the x hyperlane seems a bit misplaced no? :/ Winterz (talk) 23:24, September 30, 2012 (UTC)
- You should still include this in the article, it just shouldn't be in the first sentence.--Exiled Jedi
I wouldn't use the word globe, since that implies a spherical object. It might be a lopsided shape like Kessel.I would include a sentence saying who controlled the Zug system over the years, without saying anything explicit about those organizations controlling Aaghra. You can use the maps from the Atlas to see who controlled the system at different times.- From the map on page 120 of the Atlas you can tell the system was discovered between 25,000 BBY and 17,000 BBY. From the map on page 198 you can tell that the New Republic took the system by 8 ABY. The map on page 226 shows that the system became part of Darth Krayt's Galactic Empire by 137 BBY. Add this information, and I think you will have taken care of everything.--Exiled Jedi (Greetings) 02:18, October 1, 2012 (UTC)
- From the map on page 120 of the Atlas you can tell the system was discovered between 25,000 BBY and 17,000 BBY. From the map on page 198 you can tell that the New Republic took the system by 8 ABY. The map on page 226 shows that the system became part of Darth Krayt's Galactic Empire by 137 BBY. Add this information, and I think you will have taken care of everything.--Exiled Jedi
Please mention the coordinates it was located at in the body of the article.--Exiled Jedi
(Greetings) 20:08, September 30, 2012 (UTC)
- Is that realy necessary? The reader will have no idea what those coordinates mean. Might as well just leave it in the infobox. 501st dogma(talk) 20:15, September 30, 2012 (UTC)
- Done. About the Grid Coordinates, I'm sorry but I really doubt that's any necessary. Winterz (talk) 21:07, September 30, 2012 (UTC)
- I looked at a bunch of planet articles and only one or two had the coordinates in the body, so they can just stay in the infobox.--Exiled Jedi (Greetings) 22:43, September 30, 2012 (UTC)
- I looked at a bunch of planet articles and only one or two had the coordinates in the body, so they can just stay in the infobox.--Exiled Jedi
- All right, you have taken care of all my objections, but your word count is up to around 230. That means that you need to section the article and write an introduction. This will probably put it over 250 words, so you will probably need to take it to the GAN page.--Exiled Jedi (Greetings) 01:01, October 4, 2012 (UTC)
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