- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a comprehensive article nomination that was unsuccessful. Please do not modify it.
AO14 net gun
- Nominated by: Ayrehead02 (talk) 18:16, January 26, 2014 (UTC)
- Nomination comments: First of some Enter the Unknown noms
(0 ECs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support
Object
Exiled Jedi
The book also refers to the weapon's ammunition as shells. Please mention this.- Added Ayrehead02 (talk) 20:26, February 5, 2014 (UTC)
- You don't really mention in the body that the weapon was designed to capture both sentient and non-sentient targets.
- Added. Ayrehead02 (talk) 20:26, February 5, 2014 (UTC)
- I think where you added the text makes it seem rather awkward. I would add a separate sentence talking about what it was designed to do.--Exiled Jedi
(Greetings) 00:02, February 6, 2014 (UTC)
- I think where you added the text makes it seem rather awkward. I would add a separate sentence talking about what it was designed to do.--Exiled Jedi
- Added. Ayrehead02 (talk) 20:26, February 5, 2014 (UTC)
- I don't see Sterling Hershey mentioned as the author in the book.
- Its not on the blog either and no where seems to list it. I'll leave it authorless for now. Ayrehead02 (talk) 20:26, February 5, 2014 (UTC)
- At the start of the book, it has Andrew Fischer as the person who produced and developed the book. It also mentions four other people who provided content. Just mentioning that the work was primarily written by Andrew Fischer would probably be sufficient.--Exiled Jedi (Greetings) 00:02, February 6, 2014 (UTC)
- At the start of the book, it has Andrew Fischer as the person who produced and developed the book. It also mentions four other people who provided content. Just mentioning that the work was primarily written by Andrew Fischer would probably be sufficient.--Exiled Jedi
- Its not on the blog either and no where seems to list it. I'll leave it authorless for now. Ayrehead02 (talk) 20:26, February 5, 2014 (UTC)
- I also think that some of your sentences try to include too much information. I would try and break some sentences up and try to provide more context for some of the descriptive elements. In the end, I think this article will go over 250 words.--Exiled Jedi (Greetings) 00:03, February 1, 2014 (UTC)
- Given that its only around 198 at the moment by my count I'm not sure how much more you want me to add, but I've split most of the sentences up. Ayrehead02 (talk) 20:26, February 5, 2014 (UTC)
- Overall, I feel that you are following the exact wording of the text too closely in an effort to keep this nomination from going over the limit. Trying to combine logical sections of the description would be best, as would explaining the weapon in different words that those used in the book. Stuff like preset, single-shot, break-action, and breach-loading are real-world terms, so I feel that trying to describe them more fully would be better than just listing them. I know that some terminology can't be reworded, since it is fictional, but in other cases try and describe things.--Exiled Jedi
(Greetings) 00:02, February 6, 2014 (UTC)
- Overall, I feel that you are following the exact wording of the text too closely in an effort to keep this nomination from going over the limit. Trying to combine logical sections of the description would be best, as would explaining the weapon in different words that those used in the book. Stuff like preset, single-shot, break-action, and breach-loading are real-world terms, so I feel that trying to describe them more fully would be better than just listing them. I know that some terminology can't be reworded, since it is fictional, but in other cases try and describe things.--Exiled Jedi
- Given that its only around 198 at the moment by my count I'm not sure how much more you want me to add, but I've split most of the sentences up. Ayrehead02 (talk) 20:26, February 5, 2014 (UTC)
