Talk: Princess Leia Organa Solo-GLG/Archive1

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Skirmish near Crustai system

Please verify Your article Skirmish near Crustai system currently isn't attributed to a reliable source. Please familiarize yourself with Wookieepedia's Sourcing policy and guidelines and add a proper source to the article. If a source is not added within one week, your article will be deleted. —Cal JediInfinite Empire (Personal Comm Channel) 03:14, February 21, 2012 (UTC)


Skirmish near Crustai system/ Pogga and Bargain Hunter

I have reverted your page blank to the above article and added merge tags. Articles should never be blanked. If the article was misnamed, it must be moved to the new name to preserve the edit history. Also, the title of your new article includes '' mark-up; this does not work in titles and should be avoided. Decide on the proper name for the article and move it correctly, making sure to redirect any other pages to the new article name. Thank you for your cooperation. - Cavalier OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 18:51, February 22, 2012 (UTC)

Firstly, normal users cannot delete a page. Only administrators can do that. If a page needs to be deleted, then the {{Delete}} tag should be applied to the article with a reason and an admin will take care of it in due course. If the article is misnamed, then it should be moved, not blanked. Blanking any page on the wiki is unacceptable, and may be viewed as vandalism. In this case, however, I can see that was not your intent. So, as I understand it, the current article Skirmish near Crustai system needs to be moved to Pogga/ Bargain Hunter, correct? Will a new article be written in Skirmish near Crustai system at a later date? - Cavalier OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 19:35, February 22, 2012 (UTC)
I've moved the article as you requested. As for the infobox, the {{Structure}} should work best. - Cavalier OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 08:50, February 23, 2012 (UTC)

Re:GAN pre-noms

I'd love to. I'll post the objections here when I get to it. :) MasterFredCommerce Guild(Whatever) 21:15, February 29, 2012 (UTC)

Almost forgot about his. XD Here goes. There's quite a bit that needs fixing. We'll do Skirmish between the Chiss and Vagaari first.

  • Thumbnails do not belong in infoboxes
  • More of a question, is the image of Thrawn relevant to the battle? I'm not very knowledgeable about this subject, so I wouldn't know.
  • The intro needs to be expanded, but I'd save that for last.
  • Everything needs to be referenced. If Outbound Flight is the only source that mentions it, then each paragraph in each section needs to be referenced to it.

When you have finished those, let me know and I'll check it again. Good luck on getting these to GA status! Always good to have new writers! MasterFredCommerce Guild(Whatever) 20:26, March 2, 2012 (UTC)

  • Better, yes. The Bts still needs to be referenced. Also, the reason the infobox wasn't working is because you must use {{Ref}} for the references. It's been fixed. And find a way to make the parentheses in "Prelude" fit into prose. Parentheses are highly frowned upon if avoidable. MasterFredCommerce Guild(Whatever) 14:44, March 9, 2012 (UTC)
    • Nay. Only infobox references get the {{Ref}} tag. The reason they get them is because the refs are too big otherwise. The size doesn't matter in the text, so those refs don't get the template. As for the Bts, if you absolutely cannot find a source for that info, then yes, it must be removed. Otherwise it is considered original research, which is not allowed. For the intro, it should basically sum up all the important facts from the article, excluding the Bts. Good luck! :) MasterFredCommerce Guild(Whatever) 16:38, March 9, 2012 (UTC)
    • Also, if an infobox item is "Unknown," then the parameter is just left blank. It also may be best to use the image of the ships in the infobox instead. And for future reference, image captions should be written from an In-Universe POV unless they are in the Bts. MasterFredCommerce Guild(Whatever) 16:42, March 9, 2012 (UTC)
    • Aaaannnnd, the article is written in a narrative form. Try writing it in an encyclopedic form. Write as if it is a history book and you are simply recounting events, rather than creating a story. And don't let all this discourage you. It took me forever to get the process down. :P MasterFredCommerce Guild(Whatever) 16:50, March 9, 2012 (UTC)

Seperate Message

Are you addressing me on your profile page?? I'm new too in this account but experianced member of WikiPedia. If you need any help, post it on my talk page.

The above message is by me, Captain Tarkin

CSD

Hey, before tagging an article to be CSD'd due to a merge, please make sure that all of the appropriate information has in fact been merged. The binder cuffs article information had not all been added to the stun cuffs article, as it should have been. Also, in instances such as the binder cuffs/stun cuffs and pocket welder/macro welder articles, redirects are more appropriate than deletions. It's possible that someone might search for "binder cuffs" or a "pocket welder," so redirecting after merging the information is more helpful than deleting the articles. Thanks. Jonjedigrandmaster (Talk) 03:52, March 16, 2012 (UTC)

Re: Skirmish/Battle between the Chiss and Vagaari

Certainly! Here are some things to do for both articles:

  • Both articles should be renamed: their titles would still be conjectural, but the relative place of battle makes for better naming than just saying who the battles were between. Just as an example, I would suggest moving "Skirmish between the Chiss and Vagaari" to "Skirmish in the Crustai system", and "Battle between the Chiss and Vagaari" to "Battle near the Crustai base"
  • Regarding bolded things in the intro: for conjecturally titled articles, you should not bold the entire article's title, as you have for the Battle article. Instead, you should start the article with something like: "A battle took place between…" In fact, the names of conjecturally titled articles should never be mentioned in the article text itself, since they're unofficial names. The skirmish article's first sentence is alright; you just need to bold the word "skirmish."
  • Regarding quotes: see this. When quotes have two seakers, the {{Quote}} template should be used. The {{Dialogue}} template is only supposed to be used for three or more speakers. Also, if there are more quotes available, you should use them—if there are enough quotes for one at the beginning of each section, then definitely add them!
  • Note that bullet points don't need to be used in infoboxes unless there is more than one subject in the field (for example, in the "Battle" article's infobox, the "next" field doesn't need a bullet point, the "Vagaari" in the "Combatants" field doesn't need one, and nor does the "100 vessels of various sizes" in the "Strength" field)
  • Note that right now, both articles have one paragraph per section; sections are free to have as many paragraphs as necessary. In particular, The "Battle" article's battle section is a giant block of text that should be broken up into smaller paragraphs.
  • As for the articles' text: you need to make sure that your grammar is 100% perfect. The biggest problem I see right now is an abundance of run-on sentences. Also, in order to make your writing more encyclopedic, you need to avoid using informal terms like "snatched up"
  • Both articles lack appropriate linking (everything that has an article on our site should be linked upon its first appearance in the infobox, its first mention in the intro, and its first mention in the main article body. Also on the subject of linking, you should avoid linking to redirects. For example, Thrawn is a redirect. The correct way to link the name is to pipelink it by typing: [[Mitth'raw'nuruodo/Legends|Thrawn]]. That way it comes out like so: Thrawn
  • You need to make sure that everything in the article also has appropriate context. For instance, in the "Prelude" section of the Battle article, you say, "He called Jorj Car'das to him…" but the reader might have no idea who Jorj Car'das is. You could remedy this by saying, "He called the smuggler Jorj Car'das to him…" to give some context on Jorj.
  • That context thing also goes for the article's events themselves. The first sentence of the Prelude of the Battle section reads: "Commander Mitth'raw'nuruodo, better known as Thrawn, was informed that the Vagaari had attacked." Of what exactly is Thrawn the commander? Who are the Vagaari? Who and where did the Vagaari attack? Why did the Vagaari attack? Who informed Thrawn of the attack, and why was it necessary for him to be informed? The reader doesn't know any of these things, because you've provided no context for the event. (Additionally, note that "Vagaari" needs to be linked, and "attacked" should be linked to the appropriate conflict. Also, the linking of "Thrawn" is completely unnecessary, since you linked to his article page earlier.)
  • You should also avoid becoming too play-by-play in describing battles. For instance, you don't need to say that "Suddenly someone called out 'Helmets!' and instantly everyone snatched up their helmets and locked them on." That statement could definitely be condensed.
  • For more information, you should read the Official Rookie's Guide to Mastering GAs, and if you have any other questions, definitely feel free to ask me. :) Jonjedigrandmaster (Talk) 20:40, March 18, 2012 (UTC)
The article is looking much better! Here's the next round of things to do:
  • I think the most important thing you need to do now is more explaining of why: why did Thrawn impound the Bargain Hunter and destroy Progga's starship? If he pounded the Bargain Hunter, why did he let the crew onto the bridge of his ship? Why was he traveling to the Crustai base? Why did the Vagaari attack the Springhawk? Also, what exactly do the impounding of the Bargain Hunter and the destruction of Progga's starship have to do with this particular skirmish? If the answer is nothing, then they don't need to be mentioned in the Prelude.
  • You shouldn't really start the "Prelude" section with the "A skirmish took place" line—just tell us what happened to lead up to the event.
  • You're still missing a lot of links and some amount of context in the main body (the main body consists of an article's entire text, excluding the infobox and the intro) of the article. Remember, everything should be linked once upon its first appearance in the infobox, in the intro, and in the main body.
  • Do we know what the Chiss and Thrawn said to each other in their native tongue?—if so, what did they say?—and if not, then is it really worth mentioning?
  • Be careful of point-of-view wordings—you say, "the Springhawk jumped into hyperspace and preformed an amazingly accurate micro-jump…" Unless you tell the reader who thought the jump was "amazingly accurate," then it sounds like it's your own opinion, which isn't allowed.
  • There are still several grammar mistakes, typically regarding a lack of commas.
  • "Roared" is one of those more casual, un-encyclopedic words that I would suggest avoiding.
  • Also, avoid the use of the word "this." "This" is technically not a past-tense phrase, so it should not be used in in-universe sections of articles.
  • "The Vagaari ship fired four salvos of missiles which the Chiss vaporized in midflight, but it could not get away because when it had first arrived a Chiss sentry had disabled it's hyperdrive." This is one grammar mistake to which I want you to pay extra-careful attention. The way this is written, the reader doesn't know to which vessel the "it" is referring. We might assume it's the Vagaari ship, because you say a Chiss sentry disabled the hyperdrive, and we know that Thrawn is Chiss; but you haven't said whether or not Thrawn is supporting the Chiss, and even if you had, traitors still exist, too—so how is the reader to know a Chiss sentry didn't disable the Springhawk's hyperdrive? (Also, watch the use of "it's" vs. "its": remember that the correct possessive form is always "its.") Furthermore, can you tell us anything about the Chiss sentry? How and when did the sentry accomplish the mission? Do we know who sent the sentry? etc.
  • In the "Aftermath" section, we could use more information regarding what happened in all of their lives and in following evvents as a direct result of the battle.
That's all for now. Once you've fleshed out the article's main body, I'd suggest re-writing the intro to match the changes you've made. You can certainly feel free to nominate it whenever you like, but be aware that if you don't have access to Outbound Flight, you will likely find it very difficult to address certain objections; furthermore, you may forget things or remember things incorrectly and accidentally put incorrect information in the article. And I think that's your biggest problem right now: you're missing a lot of the "why"s and similar background information that flesh out the articles and make the events make sense to the reader, and I don't know if you'll be able to fill all of that information in until you can get a hold of Outbound Flight again. All that said, I definitely don't want to be discouraging—you've put in effort to get the article this far, and I'd love to see you get it nommed and passed. :) Jonjedigrandmaster (Talk) 20:24, March 22, 2012 (UTC)
Sounds good; yeah, if the book doesn't say anything, then that's fine. Keep up the good work! :) Jonjedigrandmaster (Talk) 02:20, March 23, 2012 (UTC)
Yeah, you should definitely use a lead quote (one before the intro). The biggest thing I have left is that the Aftermath section is too play-by-play. You have the right basic information there, but there's a bit too much extraneous p-b-p detail. Also, the BTS sentence you have doesn't need to be sourced right now, because it is self-sourcing (if that doesn't make sense, I can explain a bit further). I still have some tiny "why?"s I want to know, and there are a couple of grammar tweaks left; but nothing that won't be easily addressed in a regular GAN review. At soon as you take care of the intro quote, aftermath, and removing the unneeded source, I say go ahead and nominate whenever you're ready! Jonjedigrandmaster (Talk) 18:29, March 24, 2012 (UTC)

Re: Appearances

No problem at all. :) Anything and everything should go in the "Appearances" section in articles for novels; if it's article-worthy here, and it appears or is mentioned in the novel, then it goes on the list. Jonjedigrandmaster (Talk) 21:30, March 19, 2012 (UTC)

RE: Outbound Flight

Hey, I saw your message on Lee's talk page.. I have the novel, what are you looking for? <-Omicron(Leave a message at the BEEP!) 21:44, March 19, 2012 (UTC)

  • Alright, I have the book at home, I'll check it out and get back to you. <-Omicron(Leave a message at the BEEP!) 21:56, March 19, 2012 (UTC)
  • Yes, indead I do, but I also own an English copy. If you need a second check or something else just let me know. Clone Commander Lee Talk 12:28, March 20, 2012 (UTC)

Sorry

I'm so sorry. I missed your message on my talk page. I was wondering when you were gonna get around to those objections. :P My fault. I see you've got Jon helping ya. I'm still here if you need anything. MasterFredCommerce Guild(Whatever) 19:12, March 24, 2012 (UTC)

Re:April Fools

Thanks. :) And since it's the 2nd, UTC time, we changed it when the wiki clock changed from the 1st to the 2nd. We would've kept going but I don't think anyone would want to change everything we did at midnight. Plus we have a filter that prevents people from editing due to the mass revert wars today. JangFett (Talk) 01:53, April 2, 2012 (UTC)

  • No problem. If you want to relive this year's event, you can check out this. JangFett (Talk) 02:05, April 2, 2012 (UTC)

Star Wars PocketModel TCG Friend of Wookieepedia nomination

Hi, Leia. Can you support the nomination for the Star Wars PocketModel TCG official website to become friends with Wookieepedia? Images from the SWPM site, like the current Star Wars CCG site, are used in many articles for references—except that these images aren't restricted like the ones on SWCCGCC. Many images from the game are of units that have no other image provided for them anywhere else in the Star Wars universe. Please consider it and thanks for your support in advance! —GethralkinHyperwave 13:44, April 4, 2012 (UTC)

Re: Behind the scenes

Hey, no problem. Here's the deal: a while back, we had two attempts at working out an actual Out-of-Universe Layout Guide; one failed to get enough voter participation, and the other finished with no consensus mostly because some didn't like the ordering of the sections. However, there has been for some time now a near-universal consensus that BTS sections are inappropriate in OOU articles, and as such we've been leaving them out. Pointing to just any random article typically isn't reliable, because it might not have been taken care of properly—for some good examples, you should check out our OOU FAs and GAs, which have been scrutinized by several users, and none of which have a BTS section. Jonjedigrandmaster (Talk) 12:14, April 13, 2012 (UTC)

  • Certainly feel free. I think the only reason it hasn't so far was that all of the proposals to change it have been connected to passing a full on Layout Guide for OOU articles. That being the case, I'll see if I can whip up a quick CT to change that bit in the MoS sometime soon. Jonjedigrandmaster (Talk) 21:30, April 13, 2012 (UTC)

Your GAN

Just wanted to encourage you on your GA writing. Your nom has a ton of objections, but don't worry. Mine have had as many or more before. lol It'll take some time and a few more noms for you to get the system down...probably. haha Hang in there! I'd review the article, but it seems you have enough on your plate right now. MasterFredCommerce Guild(Whatever) 15:17, April 19, 2012 (UTC)

First GA

GA-Icon
"So—are you still worried about being sent to the Agricultural Corps?"
Skirmish in the Crustai system has been approved by the AgriCorps and awarded Good status. Feel free to add the {{User GA}} template to your userpage to acknowledge your hard work. The AgriCorps thanks you for your efforts, and looks forward to future nominations from you! — —Cal JediInfinite Empire (Personal Comm Channel) 02:45, May 11, 2012 (UTC)

Re:Kyle Katarn's Lightsaber

Hi katarnisawesome123 here, I've come to say that it was following the events of Dromund Kaas that Kyle constructed his lightsaber, I'm sorry but that's all I can tell you, if you delete my page then fine I won't hold it against you but remember I'm new and this was my first page so can you not just leave it for now? Maybe add some edits to it yourself.

It's okay don't worry about it, I guess I'm just overreacting a little. I'm usually a really good writer I just didn't have much to work with for this page. Hoped to talk to you again sometime, Star Wars Rules!