Talk: Master Jonathan/Archive6

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Rawk

Could you please do a copy-edit and give objections to the article? Thanks.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 16:46, February 8, 2010 (UTC)

Done. Objections:

  • "Skywalker scouted the Rim for a planet": What "Rim"? There's the Inner Rim, Mid Rim, and Outer Rim.
    • That's the problem, the comic does not say which one.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 04:04, February 9, 2010 (UTC)
  • "and when Princess Fel explained that Rae was a Knight": Again, what kind of Knight? Jedi or Imperial?
  • In the BTS, way too many sentences start with "Rawk". Please change several.
  • The intro could use some shortening. Try for two paragraphs that are both the same length as or slightly shorter than the current first paragraph.
    • How about now?--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 04:04, February 9, 2010 (UTC)
      • You may have misunderstood me. All I see is a change in where the paragraph break is. Try to remove about four to five sentences of extra detail, such as "Later, Skywalker told Rawk of his recent exploits, and Rawk told Skywalker about his mother, Morrigan Corde, when the former Jedi mentioned that he had met her." The intro is the place to summarize the major highlights, not for little details like that. —Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 05:24, February 9, 2010 (UTC)

Let me know if you have any questions. —Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 22:34, February 8, 2010 (UTC)

Asaak Dan

Could you please do a copy-edit and provide objections and a word-count for the article? Thanks.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 18:07, February 10, 2010 (UTC)

Done. Objections:

  • "Dan ignited his lightsaber and crossed lightsabers with the Imperial Knights,": "Lightsaber" is repetitive.
  • Actually, that's it. :)

1,212 words currently. Let me know if you have any questions. —Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 22:02, February 11, 2010 (UTC)

Vydel Dir'Nul

Hey Jon, could you please do the usual terms for this article? Last copyedit, for now… Since she's got two personalities, it was a little tricky for me, but I think I managed to pull it off.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 16:34, February 12, 2010 (UTC)

  • And yes, I plan on getting quotes, images, and killing that red link.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 16:38, February 12, 2010 (UTC)
    • Done. I have no objections. :) 1,044 words. Let me know if you have any questions. —Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 22:18, February 12, 2010 (UTC)
      • Added another opening quote, and a quote for the P&T. Also killed the redlink. Thanks for all your help.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 15:29, February 13, 2010 (UTC)

Cay

Cool, thanks MJ. :) Chack Jadson (Talk) 22:40, February 12, 2010 (UTC)

You deserve this…

Wookieecookie
Jedi Kasra has awarded you a Wookiee Cookie!
For your great work with copy-edits and reviews.

Thanks for all the copy-edits and reviews. I probably won't have any more articles for you for a while, considering I've now got six articles waiting to be FA nominated. But then there's always the GA's, isn't there?--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 15:43, February 13, 2010 (UTC)

  • Why, thank you! :D Keep in mind, though, that there's also a limit on GA noms now (four). Keep up the good work, and I look forward to seeing more of your articles in the future. —Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 18:50, February 13, 2010 (UTC)

Rajine and Samuro

Could I have the usual terms for both of these articles, please? I believe they are under the 1,000 word limit, but I wanna be sure. Thanks for all your help.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:06, February 15, 2010 (UTC)

Done. Objections to Rajine:

  • "Rajine employed Samuro's droid, Z-18, into her service.": Wording here is awkward, please reword.
  • "and employed his droid, Z-18, into her service.": Ditto.

Objections to Samuro:

  • "Samuro imprisoned Rajine on a remote world and used the Force to raise a barrier over the world. Samuro sacrificed himself to imprison Rajine and the victims of her life-draining powers.": These two sentences are partially repetitive.

Rajine is 762 words; Samuro is 672 words. Let me know if you have any questions. —Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 20:50, February 15, 2010 (UTC)

Talk page warnings

Please take a little more care to watch how you word "warnings" you issue to other users on this wiki. Telling people they "will be blocked by an administrator" for something as minor as an MOS violation that is probably nothing more than a user's misunderstanding of site guidelines is really not your call to make, and it certainly comes off as antagonizing and uncivil considering you don't represent the Wookieepedia administration. Try to be a little more tactful and diplomatic when dealing with minor problems of this sort. If you feel such a warning needs to be issued, the best thing for you to do is approach an administrator on their talk page or come onto IRC and let them take appropriate action. Thank you. Toprawa and Ralltiir 02:53, February 20, 2010 (UTC)

TCSWE request

Could you give the entrys of CT-3423 and CT-65/91-6210 ? I'll probably work on this articles. --Clone Commander Lee Talk 10:44, February 28, 2010 (UTC)

CT-3423: "The clone trooper who helped Commander Neyo track down and kill Jedi Master Stass Allie on Saleucami during Order 66."
CT-65/91-6210 (entry actually under Deviss, Clone Commander): "A clone trooper commander assigned to the 327th Star Corps as leader of K Company, he was a veteran of Geonosis, Altyr V, Orto, and Cato Neimoidia."

That's it. Let me know if you have any more questions. —Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 16:28, February 28, 2010 (UTC)

Guide to the Grand Army of the Republic:

COMMANDER DEVISS CT 65/91-6210: "Commander Deviss was flash-trained as a Captain and assigned to the 327th Star Corps as leader of K Company. During the Battle of Geonosis, his battalion (Hawkbat) was ordered to march directly into the withering fire os a Separatist spider droid column. Hawkbat was almost completely wiped out, and Deviss risked his life to stay behind in a shallow bomb crater, tending to two critically injured soldiers. For three hours, he defended their position as monstrous spider droids passed overhead. At last, the casevac team arrived. His men were rescued, and Deviss received an medal and a new command.
     "At the brutal Battle of Altyr V, Deviss' Jedi General was vaporized by enemy fire, leaving Deviss to improvise a new plan of attack. Not only did he rally the remaining companies, but he also destroyed a Separatist ion cannon emplacement, opening the battlefield to aerial bombardment and winning the day for the Republic. For this act of bravery and initiative, ARC Commander Bly promoted Deviss to Commander. Deviss was allowed to don the red ARC pauldron and kama, as well as the special macrobinocular helmet attachment."

Order 66: Destroy All Jedi:

INCIDENT REPORT #890-D: TERMINATION section: "Commander Neyo (CC-8826) and CT-3423, accompanying Allie on speeder bike reconnaissance, received Order 66 and fired on the Jedi with the cannons of the BARC speeders operated by the 91st [Reconnaissance Corps]. Several blasts hit the rear of Allie's Aratech 74-Z speeder bike, igniting its reactor and sending it into a fatal crash."

—Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 20:02, March 1, 2010 (UTC)

  • Thank you very much. --Clone Commander Lee Talk 19:55, March 4, 2010 (UTC)
    • Just one final thing. Could you give me the info about CT-55/11-9009 from the "Guide to the Grand Army of the Republic" - Star Wars Insider 84 and Order 66: Destroy All Jedi ? --Clone Commander Lee Talk 19:03, March 5, 2010 (UTC)

Guide to the Grand Army of the Republic:

CAPTAIN "JAG" JAI'GALAAR CT 55/11-9009: "part of the famed CT-5 batch, then-Commander Jai'galaar proved to be an able an aggressive pilot. But his destiny was to lead not to fly. He commanded the 127th Gunship Wing at Geonosis but was demoted and disgraced during the tragic Retreat at Katraasii. But his bravery and talent were recognized by General Plo Koon, who drafted the Captain as a test pilot for the new ARC-170 fighters. Jag took to the craft with gusto and turned Incom's odd snub-nose into a fierce war machine. Jag was flying wingman for Plo Koon, heading an ARC Wing over Cato Neimoidia, when Order 66 was given. Despite his feelings for the Jedi General, Captain Jag did his duty."

Order 66: Destroy All Jedi:

INCIDENT REPORT #890-A: TERMINATION section: "Accompanying Koon on aerial patrol of Cato Neimoidia's bridge cities, Jag (CT-55/11-9009) and CT-57/11-9048 received Order 66 and fired several shots from the wing cannons of the ARC-170 starfighters belonging to the 127th [Gunship Wing]. Multiple laser hits sent Koon's Jedi starfighter plunging into the heart of the bridge city, destroying a clone staging area (see casualty reports labeled CT-8770 through CT-8910)."

—Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 04:32, March 6, 2010 (UTC)

re:signature

hey thanks for the warning i deleted the link to contribs but in preferences i already have subst set as SUBST:User:Asdf1239/autosig, should i change it to something else ASDF123920px Discussion 03:19, March 3, 2010 (UTC)

ive pasted the raw signature code onto User:Asdf1239/autosig, thx ASDF123920px Discussion 03:30, March 3, 2010 (UTC)

Celchu Trial

Two users have recommend that I would ask you to copy-edit Celchu Trial article so that is what I'm doing now. Please, take a look at it.--Dionne Jinn (Something to say?) 20:50, March 6, 2010 (UTC)

  • Alright, I've given the article a complete copy-edit. For future reference, the two biggest problems I found were not using commas and articles when needed. I believe Finnish is a language that does not use articles, so you might want to read wikipedia:Article (grammar) and wikipedia:English articles; as far as commas, WikiHow has a good guide here. (I am working on my own comma guide on a subpage here, but it's nowhere near complete.) Anyway, let me know if you have any questions. Thanks. —Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 06:16, March 7, 2010 (UTC)
    • Thanks a lot! You're right: Finnish language does not use articles nor it has prepositions. We use affixation to express that so I'm well aware that those are my major problems when writing in English. Someone should create a spell check that finds the missing articles and I would be the first in line to get it ;) Thanks again. That was a big help.--Dionne Jinn (Something to say?) 08:32, March 7, 2010 (UTC)

Taquito

Thank you for your info, Jon. Could you give Taquito a copy-edit? --Clone Commander Lee Talk 18:42, March 7, 2010 (UTC)

Query

I'm working on Traavis' article, and was wondering if I should put a P&A section in for him. I know this is normally required, but in the story Orders, he does not display any abilities or Force powers. I might be able to say he used a lightsaber, but in the aforementioned story, he reached for it and is killed.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:57, March 7, 2010 (UTC)

  • Well, both the FAN (#15) and GAN (#14) rules state that a P&A is required "where said powers and/or abilities are stipulated." If the story does not give any info regarding powers or abilities, then I would say that a P&A would not be required in that situation. —Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 02:48, March 8, 2010 (UTC)

Traavis

Could you please perform the usual terms for this article? Thanks.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 13:41, March 8, 2010 (UTC)

Whoops, somehow this got lost in the flurry of messages over the last few days. Anyway, here you go:

  • First, a note for the future: the correct spelling is "Separatist". I fixed several instances where it was spelled "Seperatist" instead.
  • "the Jedi Knight served as a General": Since you have yet to identify anyone as a Jedi in the bio, it's not clear who this refers to. Either identify Traavis explicitly here, or identify him as a Jedi in the previous sentence.
  • "during the Separatist's sieges of the Outer Rim,": The Outer Rim Sieges article says that the Republic was the one conducting the sieges. Please determine which one is correct and fix the other article, since it's probably not a good idea to have two articles that contradict each other.
  • "Traavis led a five-month campaign against the Cassandran Worlds of Monhudle, New Bakstre, and Biitu. Traavis and his troops eventually captured the planet Garqi," The shift from the Cassandran Worlds campaign to the capture of Garqi is too abrupt; please try to make the transition smoother.
  • Since the character's species and gender is already given in the infobox, intro, and body, I feel it's unnecessary to also start the P&T with it.
    • While I agree with you, the Inqs and Agricorps usually want me to list these traits in the P&T.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 21:27, March 10, 2010 (UTC)
  • Currently 680 words.
    • Looks like it's headed for the GAs, then.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 21:27, March 10, 2010 (UTC)

Let me know if you have any questions. —Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 21:15, March 10, 2010 (UTC)

Aurebesh

Aha! I had wondered if there was a way to set the height of images rather than the width. Now I know! Thanks! --Eyrezer 00:59, March 18, 2010 (UTC)

Request

Hey MJ,

Please go over Viun Gaalan for me when you have a chance? Same terms as usual, thanks in advance.—Tommy 9281 18:24, March 19, 2010 (UTC)

Copyedit

Hey Jonathan, could you do me a favour when you have the time and give Jedi Tower a copyedit? Cheers, Nayayen—TALK 22:59, March 19, 2010 (UTC)

  • Thanks for asking. Normally, I'm happy to do copy-edits anytime, but I'm in the process of reading through the entire KOTOR comic series for the first time, and I would like to avoid spoilers as much as possible. Sorry, but feel free to let me know if you need anything in the future. —Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 23:36, March 19, 2010 (UTC)
    • Ah, I understand, that's fine. I knew you were reading through them but I wasn't sure how far you'd gotten. Thanks anyway! Nayayen—TALK 08:14, March 20, 2010 (UTC)

Copyedit

Hey, Jon. Could you go over Ysanne Isard (clone) when you get the chance? Just ignore the inuse tag. Also, could you check the CSWE for any mention of her? Thanks. QuiGonJinn 20px(Talk) 15:58, March 20, 2010 (UTC)

Copyedit

Could you give Flanker a copy-edit ? --Clone Commander Lee Talk 18:32, March 21, 2010 (UTC)

  • Done. For quick reference, the article is now sitting at 260 words by my count. —Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 19:57, March 21, 2010 (UTC)
    • Thanks. Do you still spot grammar errors or bad phrasing in 2242 ? --Clone Commander Lee Talk 19:18, March 22, 2010 (UTC)
      • I just did a second copy-edit, and fixed several issues that I missed on the first one, including some awkward phrasing. Apparently, I zipped through it too fast the first time, so sorry about that. Let me know if you have any further questions. —Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 20:00, March 22, 2010 (UTC)

Award

right|150px|link= I, Xd1358 hereby award you, Master Jonathan with the Pit Droid award of Diligence for requested high-quality copyedits and lookups in various source materials. You help out a huge amount of Wookieepedians with your work. Keep up the good work! -- 1358 (Talk) 18:47, March 21, 2010 (UTC)

  • Why, thank you! I plan to continue my work on here for as long as I remain interested, and encouraging comments like that will only serve to keep me interested in Wookieepedia for a long time. :D —Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 20:12, March 21, 2010 (UTC)

Mutiny

MayWitcher is doing spellcheck on my request. I continue editing only when she is done with it. Let her work, ok?--Dionne Jinn (Something to say?) 20:01, March 21, 2010 (UTC)

  • Sorry, I didn't know that. I just assumed it was a newbie that didn't know what the inuse tag was for. I'll let her go in the future. Also, it might be best to put a note to that effect in the inuse template so other users know that she's allowed to edit, otherwise others might make the same assumption I did and revert her also. :) —Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 20:12, March 21, 2010 (UTC)
    • Need to do that, then. She happens to be my friend and we co-operate a lot in Finnish Jedipedia.--Dionne Jinn (Something to say?) 20:14, March 21, 2010 (UTC)
      • Alright, no problem, just as long as people are aware that she can edit through the inuse tag. By the way, an alternative method, if you prefer it, would be to have her note "with permission" or something to that effect in her edit summary. —Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 20:19, March 21, 2010 (UTC)
        • I said to her that she should do that but I think she forgot. She was guite angry to Fett when he did a minor edit while she was working on it and that messed up her hard work because of edit conflict. I already let Fett hear about it but that cannot bring her work back so she gave up for tonigh and I'm working solo on that again.--Dionne Jinn (Something to say?) 20:24, March 21, 2010 (UTC)
          • Keep in mind that your work is not lost when you get an edit conflict. If you scroll to the bottom of the edit conflict page, the box at the bottom contains your work; you can copy and paste that into the top edit box and then merge the two edits. Obviously, it's still annoying as well as extra work, but the point is that the work is not completely lost. —Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 20:29, March 21, 2010 (UTC)
            • I think she didn't know that since she is a rather green editor and doesn't know how everthing works yet. (I have editet over two years and there is still new things to learn)--Dionne Jinn (Something to say?) 20:34, March 21, 2010 (UTC)