Oh no! Lucas is treading on our childhood memories! It's the end of the world!!!
Fans realize something Lucasfilm Ltd. does not, that robust 38-year-old billion-dollar franchises, while seemingly healthy, are in actuality as fragile as two bricks tied together with tissue paper. One mistake, one bad mis-step will cause the entire thing to shatter and fall apart; and Star Wars would be ruined forever.
Fortunately, there is hope. The Star Wars fanbase has resolved to remain ever vigilant against something that could Ruin Star Wars Forever, and call out warning if they see something that could potentially do so.
Some Star Wars conservationists suggest a more extreme approach, that Star Wars should abandon all attempts at re-invention and instead cater exclusively to the old-school fanbase. Though attractive, this approach may prove impractical as a long-term solution.
Ruined Forever remains a serious threat to Star Wars now and in the foreseeable future, though it's possible a proposed initiative requiring all Star Wars fans to purchase an annual "DVD offset" could ensure our fragile brand's existence through the mid-21st century.
Things that have Ruined Star Wars Forever in the past
- George Lucas
- Darth Vader is Luke's father!
- Leia is Luke's sister!
- Ewoks
- Those zany comics with the green bunny
- The Glove of Darth Vader
- Luke goes EVIL!
- Kyp Durron
- Callista Ming
- Waru
- Luke having a one-night stand
- Destroyers and Dreadnaughts
- Re-editing the classics
- Greedo shot first
- Prequel trilogy
- Jar Jar Binks
- Midi-chlorians
- Del Rey
- Races without the Force
- Palpatine coming back invalidates the ending of ROTJ!
- Oh no! They killed Chewbacca! You bastards!
- Oh my god! They killed our favorite Jedi! You bastards!
- Oh no! Anakin Solo was too young to die!
- Hayden Christensen
- The Republic is only 1,000 years old
- Star Wars Galaxies
- Darths before Bane
- The Hayden Christensen ghost in ROTJ
- 3 million clone troopers
- Force lightning, not just for Sith anymore
- Torturing joiners
- Jacen-In-Name-Only becomes a Sith
- Boba Fettishism
- Luke appoints the new Emperor
- Why couldn't Luke still be alive in 137 ABY?
- New Galactic Empire
- Lame Darths
- The Exile is female
- Drew Karpyshyn's adventures in continuity
- Death of Mara Jade
- Jacen got killed by Jaina!
- "When the legend becomes fact, print the fact."
- Rick McCallum
- Dave Filoni [redacted] my continuity!
- Anakin has a Padawan?!
- Mindless console action with... Vader's apprentice? WTF?
- KOTOR/Dark Times/Rebellion/Legacy crossover
- OMFG, why is that [redacted] Imperial war criminal Daala the new GA Chief of State?!?
- Mando addicts with long-term contracts (again)
- LotF Sequel Series
- NJO Comic Series
- Mandalore is what, now?!
- ZOMG they canceled KotOR!
- ZOMG they canceled Legacy!
- The Jedi Civil War was not what it seemed
- Dave Filoni: "Han Solo cannot understand Chewie"
- George Lucas at Celebration V
- Asajj Ventress was from where, now?!
- Darth Maul has a brother?!
- Wait, two brothers?! Oh, back to one.
- Even Piell died before the Great Jedi Purge?!
- Darth Vader screames "NOOOOOOO" when he throws the Emperor down the reactor shaft?!
- A KotOR MMORPG
- ~"I’m picking up my blaster, Put it on my side. I’m jumpin’ in my Falcon, Wookiee at my side.
I’m Solo, I’m Han Solo,I’m Han Solo. I’m Han Solo. Solo."~ - Darth Maul is alive?
- THE EXPANDED UNIVERSE DOESN'T EXIST ANYMORE?
- The "pork side"
- SHEEV PALPATINE?!
- Star Wars Rebels
- Phineas and Ferb: Star Wars
- No more 20th Century Fox Fanfare
- A heart"felt" re-telling of the classics
Things that will no doubt Ruin Star Wars Forever in the future
- Lego Star Wars: Droid Tales
- Star Wars live-action TV series
- Star Wars: Episode VII The Force Awakens
In other words, pretty much everything...